Nulli Secundus
by RayeWilliams
Summary: A hailstorm. A bell tower. And a four-pointed star...these three things awaken something in Mello that seems to shatter him, and even Near is unsure about how to put the pieces together. But...what's Branding? And what exactly does L know? MxN, AU-ish.
1. Normal Day

Wow. This one is going to be a long story, and it's FINISHED, so what happened to PWF won't happen here. I promise. o.o; Everyone, please bow down and worship the ground Blackie and I walk on. :P This RP was amazing. Hard to edit, because her writing style is drastically different from mine...but we flow better in the later chapters.

This story...is AU, kind of, but still in the Death Note realm. It takes place at Wammy's during October; Mello is 14, Near is 13. Rated for...well...to sum it up, sex, disturbing concepts and images, and profanity. But there's a lot more to it than that. :3

Anyway, enjoy.

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Nulli Secundus

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**_Chapter 1: Normal Day_**

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It wasn't just rain. It was storming. Not storming even; it was absolutely _horrendous_.

Hail, ice, rain...all were pouring from the practically black abyss above, behind which the eyes of the sun were blinded. The grim weather was a despicable sight, ominous to the one gazing out his bedroom window. It was the sign of defeat. Yet again.

Failure.

He could feel it through his skin. Exam results were to be posted today, the latest in a major overall review of every class. And he knew. He knew in the pit of his heart that he had again failed. Second again. The sound of a low growling rumbled in his throat, harmonizing with a clap of thunder outside, sounding just as angry and dangerous. Small droplets of water streaked tears down the cloudy glass of the window, blurring the cold blue that was this teenager's eyes. A thin but obviously not frail arm twitched suddenly, and the blonde-haired creature stood, sliding the chair away from his messy desk in the process. Golden bangs shadowed his slightly bruised eyelids, showing how little sleep he really had gotten last night. It was like a daily routine: take an exam, worry about the results the next night, and wake up feeling entirely agitated. Not that he actually woke up at noon this fine Saturday morning, but still. He wondered why the hell he was worrying if he knew the results already, but the answer was clear. No way in the nine circles of HELL was he giving up. He'd give his all, time after time.

And that was why it irked him so much.

His best wasn't fucking good enough, EVER. The black long-sleeve and pants seemed to accent his mood, utterly dark. Hell, even the _weather_ was perfect for his hopes to be dashed again...

A hand balled itself into a tight fist and the teenager inhaled deeply to calm his stretched nerves. Wammy's was definitely not doing his temperament any good at all. Mello sighed and turned the brass doorknob, exiting his room and yet again breathing deeply.

Mello walked down the hallways, heading for the library where the results were posted. An idle hand reached into his pocket for the sweet addiction that brought him relief from his troubles. He was only annoyed more by the absence of it. Fucking perfect.

Mello glanced inside while walking past, pleased to note that the little tormentor had not yet ascended to his mindless games yet. He paused in mid-step, doing a double take to make sure the all hailed "Number One" wasn't there yet, and sighed in relief.

He didn't want to see that white apparition today.

Mello continued to walk away, aware that Near was possibly watching him and walking with an air of "piss off or I will fucking kill you" just for that occasion. The blonde turned the corner to the library and grudgingly stepped over the threshold.

The library was vast and yet cozy, green carpeting and several tables making the place seeming very comfortable. In all honesty Mello was itching to leave. The blonde approached the papers full of names upon the wall and flipped through the packet, searching for the two names.

And there they were. Near, a perfect score. Mello...

Missed one point.

A sudden intense rage bolted through him and he fought to keep from ripping the papers to absolute shreds right then and there. He just shoved his hands into his pockets and walked away, head bowed at such an angle that made his eyes seem even more dark than usual. His aura read pure and cold rage, and it was just too dangerous at the moment for words. A sudden flash of lightning sparked a sudden and violent pivot, and a glower that would make demons fear for their lives.

But nothing was there in that hallway that was the victim of his utterly hideous and painful eyes. He turned sharply again, quickening his pace to a very fast walk, nails biting his own flesh through the mesh of his pant leg. Nothing he did was ever good enough, nothing he tried worked above that level of perfection...

Near.

Oh, the very name sent shivers through his bloodstream. Near...was perfection in its most refined form, able to calculate anything in the blink of an eye, able to outsmart anyone at Wammy's.

Mello stopped walking to gaze out of a window, concentrating on the rain, and pressing his forehead to the glass for a moment in an attempt to cool his outrageous temper.

There were many reasons why today was a bad day... And he had the feeling it was going to get a hell of a lot worse...

(NS)

Though the boy had never needed any sort of alarm to awaken him, the gale pounding at the windows was enough to shake a pale ghost from his restless sleep. A flutter of eyelashes was the most effort that could be forced out at such an unpleasant awakening, and white hands shoved white blankets from a white form, so that a finger could entwine itself within a soft, white lock of hair. The other hand was busy retrieving tablets from the boy's drawer, and he briefly removed his hand from his hair to put the lenses into his eyes. Only then did he turn on his lights, and the white was illuminated to a blinding degree.

Yet, dark eyes gazed around the room indifferently, a dark mind already filled with the notion that today, like every other, would be both predictable and pointless...a dark day, like every other.

It was logical to assume such, or...perhaps not. Still, Near got dressed while thinking of nothing but the feel of white clothing on his white skin.

A day...like any other.

Near pulled a box of dominoes from his bookshelf and left, clicking off the light and closing the door soundlessly behind him, casting the pure, white room into darkness while a phantom headed towards the common room.

Silence tended to be the number one bit of comfort to Near's sensitive hearing, but he disregarded his own preferences completely as he dumped the dominoes into a messy pile on the floor. The porcelain tiles clacked against one another, scattering over a small area, and Near simply watched until they all stopped moving; watched, and then shoved them into a messy pile with his foot.

The floor was inviting him, and he sat, one leg pulled to his chest, the other curled beside him. He began to line them up, already thinking of the patterns they'd make when he knocked one down. A black sandal clacked onto the ground in his direct line of sight, narrowly missing his game (which was good, because there were few other ways to get Near from indifferent to absolutely _pissed_), and he looked up at the brightly-smiling girl.

"Hiya, Near!"

"Good morning, Linda."

Near disliked her. She wasn't unintelligent, but she was foolish, and that was enough. Near may have been the kind of person to be confused his emotions, even to the point where he'd block out his own to avoid the trouble, but he knew about them. And he knew about this little girl's crush on him.

That, too, somehow pissed him off.

"Near, I saw the postings in the library," she giggled, oblivious to the fact that he had yet to pause his actions in his game, let alone meet her gaze.

"Exam postings. That would be why they are there. For students to see them."

She giggled again, a fake, tittering sound that made his ears throb. He lowered his head slightly, hoping that his bangs could shroud how he struggled to not roll his eyes.

"Number one again," she crooned softly, and she spoke to him as though he were a baby (how condescending...). "You must be proud."

"Pride has nothing to do with it."

"Well, you were the only one to get a perfect score!" Linda said, and her tone indicated that she was shocked; Near looked up then to meet her eyes, and they weren't shocked. No. She'd expected as much of perfect Near. He shook his head, a fraction of a centimeter, from side to side.

"Are you implying something?"

"Come with me," she said, and she stuck her lip out, pouting. Near sighed softly and got up. She was thick. She was foolish. And she knew good and god-damned well he was trying to get her to go away, but no, she wouldn't, of course not. When in Rome...

Near stood up and walked past her, his posture perfect, for he didn't see fit to mimic his mentor in a way that could permanently damage an already-weak body. Linda skipped after him, grinning from ear to ear like the intelligent idiot she was. Something inside of Near's head warned him against the library, but then, it was a day like any other, and the library was no different.

Ha.

Down the hall, Mello's internal conflict simmered to a nice hot... EXPLOSION!...at the sound of that annoying laugh, _ringing_ through the peacefully silent hallway. Mello turned on himself before anyone could bat an eyelid, and stormed past doors to the common room, having the set goal in mind and totally ignoring the fact that Near was in the room too. The albino most likely wouldn't care at the moment if Mello exploded in anyway.

And that was just what he did. With a very climactic flash of lighting, the burning shadow stood in the doorway, and with a miasma about him that could kill. The teenager's eyes widened in Linda's general direction, giving him an utterly insane appearance, and he took an intimidating step forward.

"Will you fucking BACK OFF! He doesn't like you OR your idiotic advances! Do us all a favor, and shut your high-pitched mouth for ONCE in your god-damned LIFE!"

It was a well-known fact Mello did not have the nicest tongue, and this was no exception. He absolutely felt like Linda should get a good kick in the face, but it was because of the hideous rage that had boiled over, finding Linda as an outlet for release. He was PAINFULLY aware that his arch-enemy was RIGHT there...but Linda was his primary target. Near would get whatever was left.

Mello's stance, posture, tone, eyes..._everything_ screamed rage and intimidation, down to the last detail. It was the perfect example of an emotional hijack on his common sense. It was a damn good thing there were no adults around to bear witness to the angry child.

Peace? At a quiet little orphanage? Too much to hope for.

Near's eyes had taken in this sight uncountable times before; Mello's seething rage emanated off of him like poison dripping from an assassin's blade, and his tongue itself was sharp enough to make Linda shriek and back towards Near (because logically, he could defend her, oh, of COURSE he could).

She was close, uncomfortably close, and Near shifted uneasily, staring at Mello through eyes that had been carefully trained to indifference, eyes that had required it since before he even became an orphan. Linda was making soft mewling noises, but her shaking lower lip was proof enough she was too much of an idiot to stay silent.

"Y-you don't have to shout, Mello-kun!" she wailed finally, and Near fought an overwhelming urge to abandon her. "He's my friend (oh, that was news to him...) and I can talk to him how I want. S'none of your business!"

She was gaining confidence, and Near's small finger was already playing with a lock of hair, anything to distract him. He carefully avoided Mello's gaze, because when dealing with an angry predator, one should never make direct eye contact.

Or taunt it. Apparently, Linda hadn't learned that part. Foolish child...

"M-Mello, you always get so grumpy when I try to talk to Near," she said, and her voice was lowered. "Are you...sure you're not just jealous?"

The group of kids that were up early enough to be hanging around the common room were already evacuating, gazing anxiously at the ticking bomb that was Mello. Near flicked his gaze toward his rival then, and in the split second his darkened vision caught a GLIMPSE of those narrowed blue eyes, something inside of him churned in...what was that? Concern? Fear? Perhaps he needed to study these "emotions" more carefully. He averted his eyes again, focusing on Linda's left ponytail, counting the strands.

Linda's vain efforts to fight back were met by a spike in Mello's anger, and the blonde's fingers spread suddenly, warning anyone to back the hell away or...

Mello took a step forward and his gaze widened to one that invoked sheer terror upon most. It wouldn't have been surprising if random objects began to spontaneously combust around him, he was just _that_ pissed off.

"JEALOUS?! Linda! Get away from me before I squeeze your throat so fucking hard it POPS!"

He seeped ferocity, teeth bared and posture like he was about to slam someone onto the floor. He could EASILY do that to either one of the people before him, but chivalry wasn't dead.

Near wasn't exactly a knight foolish enough to fight the dragon slaughtering this idiotic princess, even as she shrieked and hid behind him. He wanted to sit down again. Badly. So badly. But not yet. He turned slightly to stare at the girl from the corner of his right eye. When he spoke, it was softly, not a whisper, but a stark contrast to Mello's screaming, a cat's meow against a tiger's roar.

"Linda. Suicide is a contemptible fate, and you've no reason to waste your life. You are not the one he is jealous of."

Linda nodded meekly, and Near's mind whirled. His gaze was on the wall to their right, Mello's left, and silently, he wished his rival would either calm down, or go away. Linda, he simply wanted to leave. A white cat did little between a growling tiger and a shivering mouse. Mello tried to constrain himself at that very moment. Bringing a hand to his temple, he growled to himself, breathing slowly to regulate the inferno that threatened to command his limbs to induce suffocation on the wretched girl.

And now, the overwhelming urge to murder his counterpart gnawed at him too. All of it was just absolutely too much. This was why, out of the ordinary from the usual insulting and screaming, he simply pivoted without a word, walking out, hand still to his head. He mumbled something under his breath, seeming too annoyed to do much of anything. He needed clarity at the moment...and these two weren't helping.

Mello went straight, instead of back to his room; straight, and a turn. He knew VERY well that the kids were not allowed outside, but like hell that was stopping him.

Mello looked about and creaked open the door leading to the raging storm outside. He growled and slammed it behind him, without any regard for the weather. He simply sat on the stone bench placed against the stone wall, the cold air soothing his temper. He leaned back, head cocked to the sky, and silently closed his eyes.

Normally, he would go to Matt for some sort of comfortable distraction, but Matt was away on some sort of educational field trip with a few other students. Mello's hands gripped the edge of the bench as a hailstone cut into his cheek.

He muttered to himself, trying to regain his composure...no luck.

Yeah. It was gonna be a GREAT day.

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I hate intro chapters. -.-


	2. Locked

Wheeeeeeee, I love this storyyyyyy. xD This is touching the plot, but it's chapter THREE that everything really begins to happen. I'm warning you guys, this story LEAPS into the plotline. Like, headfirst. :P

**_Chapter 2 - Locked_**

Near's gaze had followed Mello's abrupt departure as soon as the older teen's eyes were cast away. Linda let out a sigh behind him and laughed nervously.

"God, Near. He's such a grouch. I don't know ho-"

"Linda," he interrupted her coolly. He sensed her gaze on the back of his neck. "Be quiet."

He left without turning to see the look of shock and over-dramatic hurt etched into her eyes. He itched to go back to his dominos, still scattered, practically forgotten, on the common room floor. They didn't matter at the moment. He'd had enough.

A few of the children in the halls called to him as he headed toward Mello's room, though he was unsure where his rival would be, or of the logic in heading to his cave. A boy that Near knew Matt liked to challenge to Pokemon battles hailed him, and he turned his dark gaze to meet amber-brown eyes.

"Near, are you okay?"

"Fine, Gar. What is it?"

Gar was flushed, and he rubbed the back of his head, fingers running through short, black hair. Near didn't want to talk to him. He could analyze the boy easily, and the three words to best describe him were inarticulate, lazy, and...stupid, for lack of a better word.

Or maybe just inferior...

"Heard Mello flipped a shit. Wanted to know what was up."

"I never understood the phrase 'flipping a shit.' It's odd. But yes, I suppose it fits. Do you know where he is?"

"Storm inside a storm," Gar said vaguely, gesturing to a door leading to the rushing gale outside. Figured. Near thanked him quietly and directed his path to the exit, grabbing one of the dark red umbrellas hanging on the wall, as he was certain that, in his rage, Mello wouldn't have had the common sense to grab one himself. He opened the door, slowly, and entered the storm, dry under his umbrella though his socks were muddied immediately. When he was sure nobody was looking, he raised a finger to his eye and moved the lense, and a flash of light illuminated Mello's sullen form. Near allowed him a few moments of privacy...there was no need to rush. He stood, solemn, a dry patch of white in a world of soaking darkness.

Mello failed to notice him...something caught his attention, somewhere in the distance. A glimmer that vanished as soon as it had appeared. Mello trained his eyes further, trying to see.

"...the hell?"

There it was again. A reflection of...something. But what...?

Mello stood up and peered at it, his abrupt change in mood not unusual. The blonde definitely saw it again. Whatever it was, it was reflecting off the building. It was silver-colored...

Mello shook his head. He was distracting himself. It was probably nothing. He didn't wince as the hail easily carved his face, leaving red scratches in their wake. Mello sighed and leaned on the building finally noticing his rival from the corner of his eye but letting his rage slip away in the storm.

"What?"

The word had a hard edge to it, but it was dampened slightly. He had already blown up before and didn't feel like doing so again at this very moment. He didn't turn to meet Near's gaze, as he didn't feel inclined to see black pits yet again. Said black pits didn't betray the surprise Near felt at the failed rage that lingered in Mello's voice. He didn't hesitate much longer than a moment, and he approached the older boy slowly, extending his umbrella. The hail had already done its damage on Mello's skin, and the golden hair was soaked, but Near felt...perhaps the proper word was obligated?...to do this.

Near wanted to say several things, each concerning something entirely different; Linda, the scores, the tantrum...instead, his mind settled on the cold, hard facts, more specifically, the ones pelting him, inflicting red welts on flawless white skin. He felt the skin on his cheek open and winced slightly, but his gaze remained on Mello, and he spoke finally.

"You shouldn't be out here. It's dangerous."

"I don't need the umbrella."

He pushed the visual impairment away, eyes looking at that damn reflection. It continued to intrigue him...for it was the strangest shape. Like an insignia of sorts, flashing before his eyes. He needed to know. He couldn't have been seeing things.

A nasty hailstone slashed his cheek, but he ignored it, instead slowly walking out of the shadow of the building a few feet, turning around and looking up. Near sighed and shook his head, wet bangs plastered to his forehead. The bell tower loomed above them both, a strangely-shaped window gracing Mello's eyes. He wasn't going crazy, but...

He looked back at the trees, ignoring yet again the ice on his skin. The reflection was silver. The window was pitch black. It didn't make sense. Mello stared at it until a fine hailstone smacked him square in the head. The blonde winced and shook it off, retreating back to his bench.

"Do you see it?"

He pointed to the reflection dancing along the trees. His tone was edgy, as if he was slightly nervous of the answer. He didn't exactly want to know if he was hallucinating.

Near examined the confusion in Mello's eyes and followed his finger and gaze, seeing nothing out of the ordinary. Despite its prior rejection, he approached Mello and held the umbrella over his head again; the storm was picking up speed, and the hailstones were falling harder and faster now. They pelted Near's body, agonizing to his sensitive skin, but he had other matters to be concerned with at the moment.

"Where...are you looking, Mello? I do not see anything unusual."

White clothes were stuck to his body, and he shivered, cursing the illogical actions of coming into the storm in his normal attire. Mello...was frightening him somewhat. Near's apathy faded from his eyes, instead replaced with a gentle concern.

"Are you alright? What do you see?"

"It's a reflection, an insignia. Look. It's flickering among the tree bark. You see it, right?!" He sounded strangled, as if desperate to prove his own sanity. He wasn't insane. He wasn't seeing things. It was really THERE. He saw it. "It's... reflecting off something. It really is there!"

He shook his head and blinked, but it was still there. It was in the shape of a four-pointed star, shimmering in silver upon brown bark. Near gazed up at him through eternally blank eyes.

"Mello, my vision is really bad in...the current conditions." He doubted he could elaborate. He let the pounding storm speak for him. "What is it that you see?"

His eyes remained locked exactly where Mello was looking, and he may have seen _something_ flash there, or perhaps it was only wishful thinking. Still, he tried. He really did. He focused every bit of his attention on the tree, drowning out the loud storm and the pain on his skin, the discomfort of his clothes clinging to his body. His hair was an absolute mess against his face, but his eyes were intent. Then...there. A flicker.

"What is it that you see?" Near repeated quietly, bowing his head slightly and flicking his gaze toward Mello.

"A four-pointed star. A reflection off of the lightning, like light hitting a mirror. It's coming from the window in the bell tower..."

The tower was off-limits to the children of Wammy's. None had been there, not even Mello, for all the doors were locked leading to the tower, and no one had been in there for decades. But...

"It's...intentional. I am sure of it. Where else in Wammy's have you seen a four-pointed star?" Mello shook his head. "Nowhere. What is that? Why is it there...?"

Mello seemed to have forgotten his initial rage, as well as the fact that ice was turning his face into a mass of raw scratches. He turned to his smaller rival and his expression then was quite unusual. His eyes were widened, but the rage was gone from them, replaced with a confusion for his own sanity. He stared into the dark eyes for a moment, taking in the fact that the younger one was being ravaged by the weather.

"Go inside..."

"Inside," Near echoed. Did he mean in the tower, or back into Wammy's? "Mello, we're not even supposed to be out on the grounds, let alone inside the bell tower..."

He definitely needed to read more about emotions. Right now, Near barely knew what HE felt, let alone his rival...the guarded confusion in Mello's eyes made Near catch a breath in his throat, and he shivered, though not from the cold.

"The stars remain in the sky, Mello," he whispered. "Take care of the little things. Let the big things take care of themselves. Let's go back inside the House...please, Mello."

"I need to find out..."

A low growl found its way to Mello's throat and he narrowed his eyes at Near. God-damned brat would get him in trouble if someone noticed that both of them bore the nasty marks of hail. They'd blame it on him for 'hurting' Near. The thought reignited his anger and he roughly grabbed Near's wrist, marching off, dragging the little one behind him as he opened the door. Near tensed at the touch and his gaze froze, cold and distant. He didn't resist Mello, but his mind screamed for him to run.

Mello entered the orphanage with a flurry of wind and rain behind him. He dropped Near's frail arm and snorted, and the latter relaxed, his eyes fixated on Mello's face. Only the dimmest samples of curiosity and confusion lingered in his eyes. Mello's were still unreadable.

"Happy now? I'm going to go find out about that tower, don't try to stop me, or squeal, or I _will_ lock you outside. Understand?"

Typical Mello, always with one mood swinging to another at the blink of an eye. And it was always Near who caused it. Near knew he wasn't kidding with the threat, either...Roger had already caught him outside after hours earlier in the week.

It seemed like the blonde could have cared less that he was bleeding from a small scratch on his cheek, or the fact that his clothes were wet, as he turned to leave.

On instinct, Near reached out to grasp Mello's sleeve, tugging in a half-hearted attempt to turn him around. Arrogant bastard...whatever was going on, he was going to get hurt somehow. It was inevitable. Predictable? No, not today. Something was wrong.

Near hated it when things went wrong.

"You wound me," he said softly. "I am not Linda. I don't 'squeal' when things stray from the path of the ordinary. However, I don't intend to stand by and let yourself do anything stupid. You're smarter than that, but you...aren't yourself, are you?"

A crack in his voice? That hadn't happened in awhile. Near gazed up at his rival intently, his eyes dark and insistent beneath dripping bangs. The water running down his cheeks washed the blood from his skin and onto his clothing, but he could have cared less. Mello was especially in-tune with Near's tone, and he heard the break in that usually level voice. His eyes flickered and he crossed his arms. Near could be useful. But...it was _Near_, for gods' sake!

"So what if I'm not myself?"

"I am going with you."

That settled it, then. Mello scowled.

"...fine. You can come along, but change your clothes first so it doesn't look like I did anything to you. I don't feel like dealing with that shit today. Come to the library when you are done, and don't piss me off."

He pulled away without a second thought, feeling utterly drained. Did he just say 'yes' to that? What the hell?! He really wasn't himself. Mello mentally slapped his emotions and stalked down the hallway, ignoring the fact he was still wet. No one would dare to ask him what the hell happened for fear of getting smacked in the face, but the children sure as hell stared. In a few short minutes, Mello had comfortably set himself in a secluded corner, hidden by shelves and occasionally illuminated by the flickers of lightning from a window.

He said yes to purely take advantage of Near's massive brain. Right. Yeah.

Mello leaned against the back of the chair, thankful a computer was set up in the corner, right next to the table. He loved this spot. He was grateful for it.

(NS)

Near changed at a faster pace than usual. He didn't bother with socks this time; he knew it'd be a bad idea in the long run, but for this exploration they had planned (what was this, a video game?), he wanted his feet sensitive to the vibrations, as his eyes...his eyes. Hmph.

He grabbed a cartridge from his nightstand and shoved it in his pocket. If worse came to worse, he'd be grateful later.

He used his already-stained shirt to clean the blood and water from his face. It was only the gash in his left cheek he was really concerned about, but that didn't matter. Despite what Mello was concerned about, the logical explanation for their injuries was the rain; while most students would naturally assume (assuming, always assuming) that Mello had inflicted the wounds upon Near, Near couldn't have possibly damaged Mello as he was.

He padded to the library, his footsteps silent, and sought out Mello. Mello...something was wrong with him. Near felt it. Even an indifferent ghost had some empathy. Near reached out and touched Mello's shoulder lightly for attention, saying nothing. Mello whipped around, on a natural impulse, and grabbed Near's wrist with one hand. Cerulean eyes flickered slight irritation and he dropped Near's arm, turning back to the computer and scrolling down the search results for four pointed star insignias.

"It's not a smart idea to do that. I almost snapped your wrist."

He wouldn't have been sorry, either. He continued to scroll, casting a glance over to the papers across the room, as if they were taunting him. Oh, what he wouldn't give for a lovely pack of darts to chuck at the blazing white sheets...

"Go find anything you can on the history of Wammy's. There should be something here..."

His tone was one of contained irritation, but not infernal rage.

"Mello, the access to information about the bell tower is restricted," Near said quietly, drawing his wrist to his chest briefly before moving it upwards to play with his hair. "If Matt were here, he could get it, but he's not. It's abandoned for a reason." He dropped his voice. "It's off-limits for a reason."

He thought back to what he'd seen. Mello's eyesight was better than the average person's, and as such, far better than Near's...but though there had definitely been a refraction of light gleaming from the tower, Near wasn't sure it had been a four-pointed star, and even if it had been, so what?

"Why is this so important to you?" he murmured, gazing down at Mello with nothing less than the truest form of concern glimmering in his dark eyes.

Mello sighed deeply, as if the question brought something up that was enough to dim the rage and replace it with solemn silence. The blonde turned around, facing Near with cold eyes, the look one gets before something overwhelming is revealed.

"It is important, and I don't need to tell you why, so don't ask me." Mello gritted his teeth, throwing the idea aside. "I guess we'll have to figure it out without Matt. We have to get in there."

His mind was working now; anyone could see the gears turning in his head. He was a plotter, and a planner, and this sort of thing was his forte. He had noticed the 'we' in the sentence, and that word made him queasy.

"I'll follow you."

Near was aware of the words only after they'd left his lips, and the shock was enough to make his eyes widen slightly. Why? Why was Mello acting like this? Why did Near even care? He blinked rapidly, lowering his gaze, his eyes still wide. His well-developed logic told him nothing, NOTHING, about what was going on, but...that didn't matter, did it?

Near bit his lip. Screw logic. It was all about instinct. All about emotion. All about...Mello.

Near's eyes traveled up to the older boy's face.

Mello rolled his eyes. It was kind of funny seeing Near like this. Withholding information apparently unnerved him. It was amusing to see the slight widening of apathetic eyes, and the obvious discomfort for his irregular attitude. Mello stared back as if it was a game, a smirk peeling across his lips. What was Near thinking that made him so uncomfortable...?

"I know I am sexy, but stop the fucking staring, thank you. You want to follow, fine, but if you get scared don't cry to me."

The word 'scared' was stressed, and it was obvious Mello knew something Near didn't, and the feeling made him quite pleased.

"I am not afraid," Near replied simply, and it was true. Fear wasn't the right word to describe it...what the word _was_, he had no idea, but fear wasn't it.

Still, obedient to Mello's command, Near averted his gaze, thinking.

The bell tower...what was there? What could possibly be in the tower that had Mello like this, that...had HIM like this? Lightning flashed outside, lighting up the room, and Near's eyes opened fully, burning from the agony of the brightness, registering the jolt in his mind.

The Lightning-Struck Tower...Near inhaled deeply to regain himself. His hand had ceased its movements in his hair, and he dropped it, unaware of his own wide eyes, the way he shivered...and of course it was in front of Mello.

As if he read Near's mind, the blonde observed quietly for once. He was definitely affecting his counterpart, and that alone pleased him. A cocky half-smirk onto his face.

"I am still watching you, if you were wondering."

He observed Near's shivering and the boy's actions as if the albino were a specimen under a microscope. Temporarily, the four-pointed star was forgotten. Mello watched Near silently, attempting to understand the boy's actions, and what caused them. The eyes was a given. Near was albino, and his eyes were particularly sensitive to light, but the shivering could have been for a few reasons.

"If you don't mind, put on your little mask so we can begin to work."

He turned around at last and gazed at the title, bringing an idle hand to his shoulder subconsciously and rubbing it.

Near glanced back at Mello listlessly, his eyes glazing over with well-practiced blankness, his emotions hidden behind steel walls. He stared at Mello as he worked and remained silent, his mind swimming in an ocean, dark eyes gazing up at a crumbling tower as lightning cracked it down the middle...a man and a woman fell to join Near in the ocean. He exhaled silently, wondering if the star had some sort of supernatu-

No. He wasn't going to delve into illogical thinking patterns yet.

He gazed over Mello's shoulder calmly and watched, his shivering ceasing and his breathing pattern evening out. Mello sure as hell wasn't the voice of reason here...it was Near's job to be logical. Logical.

...why did the word mock him?

Mello's presence had never before allowed him to think without interruption. A fist slamming onto the table jolted Near from his thoughts.

"Fucking useless..."

Mello clenched his shoulder and closed the internet window, a stab of irritation gracing his mood yet again.

Honestly he knew Roger didn't have the key. From all the other things he had broken into, it was never there. A lock pick wouldn't work on the old rusted lock, and they couldn't break it...or could they? A maniacal grin worked upon the boy's face and he stood up, a sure sign that he had an idea.

"We have to get in there. I guess we can just go in there tonight if we get all the materials together in time..."

Mello lowered his hand from his shoulder and turned to Near, who stared back, patient. Mello bowed his head slightly, his own gaze serious.

"Grab some paints and some crafts supplies. whatever you can get your hands on and meet me back here in about ten minutes, I have an idea..."

And without a further word, Mello walked off, leaving Near alone. It seemed like the tower was far more important than their rivalry at the moment, and to be honest, to Mello, it was. Near watched him go, his eyes foggy, his mind working fast.

And then he smirked. No hesitation, no twitching of the pale lips; plain and simple, his lips curved into a smirk, and he made a beeline for the best art-supply room in the House...not the supply closet, no...

He knocked on the door, and a voice called for a moment. Near waited patiently, and when Linda yanked open the door, her eyes absolutely lit up.

"Near-kun!" The smile faltered. "What happened to your cheek? ...did...Mello...?"

"No," Near said, touching the cut vaguely. "The storm outside is fairly intense."

"Storm," she sighed. "Near, you're not allowed-"

"Will you please help me, Linda?"

She was jolted from her lecture. Her smile was back, larger than before, and as if they reacted to her emotions, her pigtails seemed to grow puffy. Near made his request quietly, and she retrieved her art supplies from her closet. Near had always admired her art skills...then again, everyone had at least one redeeming quality. Linda was an artist, Matt was a hacker, and Mello...

Well, Mello was Mello. That was enough.

"Paints, brushes, markers, glue, paper, scissors, exact-o-knife, molding clay..." She handed the box to him. "Anything you need should be in there. Anything else?"

Near smiled slightly. "Yeah. But you have to promise you won't tell anyone, and that you'll go back to your room after I achieve it. Alright?"

"O-of course, Near," she said, blushing.

"Good. Follow me."

It was probably the stupidest idea he'd ever had, but Linda had her uses. Near wasn't about to abandon her. He felt...dirty. Oh well. She was just one of his toys anyway. Near kept slightly ahead of her as he headed toward the meeting place. Linda's heels clicked behind him.

(NS)

Oh, if Roger saw this, he'd probably behead him on the spot. Mello was grinning like a madman, two separate locks before him, one broken and rusted beyond belief, the other a shimmering new lock, identical to the old one save for the rust and damage. The key to the lock sat contently in his pocket. He laced his fingers together, tracing a finger over both locks. They didn't have all day. Someone was bound to notice the lock missing from the trap door. He didn't open the door, for that too was rusted shut...he'd get supplies for it later. But this was the first step.

"Mello."

Near's voice was soft, and he nudged Linda gently to stop her mid-shriek.

"What are you doing?!" she hissed at Mello angrily, and Near shot her a glare.

"Linda. I told you to stay calm. Thank you for the supplies. I owe you. Here's how I'm paying you back. Just wait."

He looked back towards Mello and his eyes softened slightly. He called his name again, patiently, and Linda squirmed beside him.

Stupid girl.

Mello glared upwards and stared at Linda a minute and then Near.

"We were assigned a project Linda, the details of which we can not discuss. I have to work with albino brat on this so if you don't mind, we have work to do. I appreciate your help, but please, just go away. I'm not exactly thrilled about this, and I'm not in the mood for any annoying speculation."

He snarled at Linda, glancing at Near and motioning for him to sit with a movement of his eyes.

"Near, we have a deadline..."

Near didn't move.

"Deadline. Of...course. I have one request, Mello, and then I'm at your disposal. Please."

He glanced at Linda, who matched his gaze, her face flushed with anxiety.

"Linda did nothing to deserve your earlier lecture. Please apologize to her for screaming and threatening. Then, she will go back to her room, and I will assist you." He paused. "And...I mean an apology. Meet her eyes, and do not snarl."

Mello fought the urge to snarl. That was going too far...but this was important. More important than Linda. And Near's manipulation was fair enough...so he shadowed his eyes, mimicking Near's apathy almost to perfection.

"Fine. I am sorry I yelled at you earlier."

It was a bit flat, but he attempted to force sincerity, and the attempt itself should have been good enough. In all honesty, he wanted to hurry. It was even affecting his pulse; not healthy. He grimaced and turned away. Linda opened her mouth to reply, but Near nodded curtly. "Good enough."

He gave Linda a blank look that plainly read "Go away," and she did. Near put the box of supplies next to Mello and sat beside him, watching him work.

"So...what are we doing?"

His insides ached with unfamiliar emotions that echoed as a tiny flicker behind dark eyes. He hid it.

Mello sighed and motioned to the locks as if it was obvious. The older boy pressed a finger against the rusted lock and eyed it silently. The worn engraving on it was buried under rust, but it was there.

"We are replicating it...and leaving no evidence. Understand?"

"Yes."

Mello sounded distant, and his hand yet again trailed to his shoulder, gripping it tightly.

"Near, I'm going to ask you to turn away for a moment..."

Mello averted his eyes and something flickered upon his expression. Near's body went rigid, his own eyes shining to mimic the emotion that gleamed briefly in Mello's. That...was one he knew. Fear.

Still, he turned away loyally.

"Mello," he said quietly. "What is this deadline?"

Mello didn't answer. Actually, the only noise was a ruffle of clothing and the identifiable sound of ripping bandages. Thank the gods that they were in a secluded place. His fear was confirmed as he ran a rough finger over vermillion.

"...Damn it..."

Near shifted. Mello's attention returned to the albino in front of him and he pulled the shirt sleeve over his shoulder, grabbing the bandages and shoving them in his pant pocket before answering Near.

"Uh...tonight. Yeah..."

The words were drawn out and lethargic, drowned in a sea of thoughts. Near bowed his head, fists clenched side-by-side between his knees, staring at the ground though his vision was clouded by still-damp bangs.

"What exactly is the plan? Whatever's going on...it is...important to you. I feel it. I...hear it in your voice. Please, Mello. I just want to help."

Why, he didn't know, but then again, it didn't matter. His gaze remained stoic, and he counted the scratches on his pale hands.

"You can turn around Near. This is the plan. I stole a padlock identical to that of the old lock blocking us from the bell tower. We are going to disguise this lock at the old one and that way, no one will get suspicious of anyone in the tower. We will go up there tonight after I loosen the door."

Mello wished for chocolate at that moment, to drown his mind in something else. He picked up the paint set and hovered over the lock, picking up a paint brush and a clay molding tool, using the old lock for a reference.

"Let's get started, it will come together in the end. Help me with this. We can get it done faster that way."

"Y-yes, Mello."

Near's gaze traveled back to Mello's eyes, and whatever was lingering within the cerulean irises scared him. Yes, it was fear now. He took a calming breath of air that helped to steady the hands that had begun to tremble with his unease.

Near handed Mello the tools as he asked for them. It...was a puzzle, right? He fought the overwhelming urge to laugh nervously. This had to be a game. A puzzle. Some cruel bet or prank that Mello was playing, trying to get under his skin.

...or not.

Mello's gaze was utterly blank as he looked at the twin locks before him. It would need to dry, but that was fine. The blonde took a shaky breath and reclaimed his cocky air.

"Hah, not too bad..."

He glanced at Near, noting his unease. It made him feel almost guilty. Near seemed afraid.

Wait, FOCUS. Near was his rival, just a tool. Why would he feel guilty for using a...tch. Well, that was why, because Near was human, and he proved it...Mello stared, a foreign light in his eyes, guilt shimmering on the surface, but irritation behind it. He didn't want Near's pity in the long run. Near looked up then, and his gaze locked with Mello's. He caught the jumble of emotions, and thought he could recognize most of them; he didn't mention them, thinking better of it.

"Are we almost done with this, Mello?"

The sooner they were, the better off they'd be. Near's fear scared him more, and that would only continue to build until his feet touched a ground he could be confident on...he hated being clueless. Like Matt without a computer, he was useless to himself, and he knew it.

What was worse was, his uses were for Mello only...and he was going along with it.

The thought made his heart ache. He didn't recognize the emotion. As such, he ignored it.

"Let's go about our day. I'll place the lock. I'll come get you at your room tonight, and we'll go to the tower."

Mello seemed extraordinarily tired all of a sudden, getting up out of his chair and snagging the drying lock without much mess.

"Return the things to Linda if you can."

He paused beside Near's chair, facing away from the younger boy for a second, whispering something audible only to Near.

"Thanks..."

And he left without a further word to walk the halls.

"You're welcome," Near whispered. He gathered the items and put them back in the box, sighing softly and listening to the pounding tempest outside; he wondered when it would end...when all this would end.

He headed back to his room, his only detour being to Linda's room. He didn't stay; he left the box outside, knocked once, and left, turning the corner just as she opened the door. He didn't have time for her.

Time...

He retreated to his room and flopped onto his bed gracelessly, curling up and facing the window. The ice shattered into fragments as it pounded the hard glass. The sound reminded him of his abandoned dominos. He didn't care. He simply stared at the hail...

Waiting for the storm to end.


	3. Trial

Also, here's chapter three of NS. Ungrateful whelps. Chapter three is where the plot opens, and remember, this story is Death Note, but still AU, so keep an open mind. Everything is explained in chapter four.

This was one of my favourite chapters because of that part Blackie-chan wrote about "unreachable shades of cerulean." Aiiiiie, she's so good. (x'A'x) And for the record, YES, NEAR IS ALBINO IN MY STORIES. I am so sick of flames from the idiots who haven't read that part of my profile. This story involves a mix of canon!Near and Kao!Near, but he's albino either way. Deal.

And the first shreds of MxN appear in this chapter, so ENJOY IT.

* * *

_**Chapter 3 - Trial**_

* * *

The events passed so slowly in the day, the never-ending storm raging on, even as the clock read 11 PM. Mello's mindset shifted to "night mode," and the determined expression on his face as he slunk into the hallways made it obvious. Footsteps echoed down the hallway and the boy pressed to the small inlet, slinking into Near's hallway without trouble. He had done this so many times, it was almost too easy, but Near...

Mello knew where Near's room was, as well as he knew his own. As he quietly opened the door, slipping in like a serpent, the lightning illuminated his form, as much a shadow of the night as the dark of the halls. He wasn't sure if Near was awake. Careful footsteps padded upon the wooden floor as he seemed to glide to Near's bedside.

"Near. Come on..."

Near hadn't been asleep, so much as in a sort of introspective trance...he opened his eyes, keeping them averted from Mello, aware of the small box in his pocket, prodding his thigh. When he sat up, he kept his back turned to the older boy, determined not to make eye contact.

"Yes, Mello. Go on, I'll be there shortly. Will we be bringing anything?"

He only needed ten seconds...surely that wouldn't be a problem...?

"No, just hurry."

Damn it.

"They've doubled the security. And we have to be extremely careful."

Mello watched the small boy carefully, scrutinizing his every movement. He shouldn't make much noise, but even so, Near _was_ a bit of a klutz when it came to physical movement. He paused in silence, obviously listening. He heard footfalls and his eyes widened. Surely they wouldn't check the rooms...he felt his heart pound in his chest and his gaze moved to the door. The footsteps got closer, and then they faded. Mello sighed thankfully.

"Come on..."

Near got up and moved to the door, silent as a beam of moonlight; he opened it and peered out, his eyes keen.

"Coast's clear. Let's just go."

He checked the hallway again before slipping out. When they got to the tower, it'd likely be dark. He wouldn't need to keep his gaze averted unless the moon shone particularly bright. He'd have other opportunities...and he had plenty of experience avoiding unwanted eye contact. Especially with Mello.

Mello took the lead, slinking along the walls, almost invisible in the blackness, practically melting into the wall of shadows. His ears seemed to perk at the sound of footsteps and his eyes widened. Near... Near stuck out in the blackness. They'd be caught!

With lightning speed, Mello grabbed his rival, pinning him into an inlet in the wall, back facing the hallway, covering Near in the black shroud of his clothing. The inlet was ridiculously small, but it was all they had for cover.

He instantly realized how ridiculously close they were, but didn't move. His eyes widened and his breathing was quick as a shadow passed them, not noticing their presence, but stopping for a moment to look out the window. Mello swore in his mind, feeling extremely uncomfortable with the situation.

But Near...oh, Near...

It took every shred of experience with indifference to keep the small boy from at _least _whimpering at the sudden, unwanted contact. He pressed closer to the wall, away from Mello, closing his eyes tightly and trying to regulate his breathing.. His mind screamed for escape routes and mercy, and his heart throbbed solemnly, the prospect of death running through his veins. He waited, terror stripping his layers and barriers off until he was completely vulnerable, a naked shard of ice illuminated by moonlight...even though...the ice was melting...Mello was so _warm_...

Mello felt his counterpart's terror, for he was so close, how could he not? The damn chaperone had yet to leave, and Mello was now shaking with the adrenaline rush. For some reason, the fact that Near was actually afraid unnerved him. A sudden movement from the chaperone and he pressed tighter against Near, concealing every ounce of white in pitch black as the woman walked past them yet again, pausing at the corner. What the hell was she doing?!

Mello glanced down at the smaller boy, taking in his terror. Near was afraid of touch, that he knew. He felt guilty, actually GUILTY, of the position they were in, not to mention very awkward...Near swallowed another whimper, though his heartbeat was surely echoing across the hallways...so loud, his ears were liable to BURST at any moment.

He hated himself for showing Mello this weakness, but then, he was a child, still a child, and couldn't he be scared?! Why not?! It was so unfair, and his swallowed silently to rid his throat of the lump that had built there, opening his eyes for only a moment to blink back tears, and then closing them...

But Mello...

Mello, his rival, and yet, the only person he'd ever had any sort of relationship with, any bond with, even a hateful one...Mello...was so warm.

Near raised a trembling hand and grabbed Mello's shirt weakly, balling it into a fist inside of his tiny, white hand, tugging the black fabric away from his shoulder because his hands NEEDED something to do, or he'll surely burst into tears of illogical panic.

Mello stiffened at Near's movements, but didn't fight them, instead biting his lip to hold back anything that threatened to come out. Near. Shoulder. BAD.

Mello couldn't do anything about it. The poor kid was absolutely petrified. This wasn't the indifferent Near Mello knew and absolutely hated. This was a frightened little child, and it was his fault.

Mello carefully leaned into Near, allowing him to cling to the fabric of his shirt but still keep it on his shoulder. He couldn't virtually pin Near down any longer, so his arms drooped slowly until they held his rival tightly against him, drowning white in darkness. It didn't feel weird...well, it did...but it felt right. Besides, it...was all to keep him silent. Him crying would surely alert the teacher. That was it. Mello felt Near's heartbeat through his very skin, and that alone just ignited the urge to protect the little one.

Slowly, so slowly, Near's breathing began to even out. His long sigh came out silent, and he was blind, but grateful, cold, but now so warm, and despite the anxiety of being in such a dangerous predicament, he felt comforted...he nestled closer to Mello, hating the touch and at the same time, hoping it wouldn't go away, and at that notion, his terror grew until silent tears spilled from his secret eyes, still clamped shut; his forehead rested against Mello warm body, his fingers gripping Mello's shirt tightly. He held his breath, because sobbing now would give them away, and oh, THIS was why he had all those barriers up...but they were down now, useless and weak...

His body continued to tremble against Mello's, and his fear would surely kill him...

Mello held Near, bowing his head into the pale victim as the footsteps faded away. Mello's mind processed the fact that the coast was clear, but Near, oh, Near was too shaken. So he stayed like that.

A small whisper choked itself out of Mello's throat and he shifted slightly.

"Near..."

He stared down at the younger boy in silent question. Near was crying. He was _crying_. Near..._Near_...crying...

Mello felt totally helpless in the situation, and he did nothing, his own stillness being the most logical option at the moment. Near's grip at Mello's shoulder tightened, and his struggled to get a hold of himself, opening his eyes blearily to stare at the ground. He stopped crying, blinking back the tears lingering in his eyes, and wiped away the streaks they'd left in their wake. His left cuff soaked up the liquid, brushing over the cut in his cheek and reminding him that they had something to do.

He wanted to shove Mello away from him, but at the same time, his right hand clenched ever-tighter around Mello's shirt, his knuckles whiter than white from the effort. Mello backed away slightly, letting Near breathe while allowing him to grip his shirt still. He couldn't deny what just happened, what emotions lurked in his skin just then. His heart still throbbed with the sudden encounter, but Near was obviously worse off.

"Are you alright?"

He didn't hide the tint of...what was it...concern? Nevertheless, it was there. He wondered if Near would meet his eyes, or if he was too ashamed to look.

Near removed his hand, allowing himself a few moments of silence, a few moments for his breathing to even out, his heartbeat to slow to a normal pace. He shoved his hands in his pockets and nodded, gaze lowered.

"Yes, Mello, fine. Thanks. Shall we go on? She...seemed to be wandering. She may come back this way."

He was grateful for Mello's presence just then, and a small smile touched his lips. His skin burned where Mello had pressed into him, but it wasn't a painful feeling...Mello's warmth was different. Mello nodded and motioned for him to follow, easily slinking around the corner and into the final hallway. At the end of it was a door to a seemingly empty room. Mello slipped to the end, carefully opening the door and slinking in.

"Let's go."

He eyed the trapdoor and lock nervously, withdrawing the key from his pocket. Footsteps echoed down the hallway in the distance and Mello's eyes widened, ascending the stairs quickly and shoving the key in, clicking it open and frantically gesturing to Near to hurry as he pushed the door open, revealing a gaping abyss.

Near's eyes were keen, and he shadowed Mello effortlessly, keeping close enough to avoid a close encounter. He wished he had clothing slightly darker, but it was fine with him, sticking close to Mello, as long as they didn't touch again...or no, even if they did, that'd be alright too...

It amused him somewhat that security was so lax during the day, but so strong at night. Really said a lot about the place.

His eyes remained averted.

Mello slipped into the darkness, ears trained on the approaching footsteps, grabbing Near's small arms and pulling him in, replacing the door quietly and panting softly, noting that the space they had ascended to was extremely small. The footsteps faded and Mello was silent a moment, hand brushing a cold surface, a step.

"A staircase..."

Mello groped against the wall, standing with some difficulty, tapping his foot slightly on the step. It wasn't just dark, it was pitch black, like every light had been sucked into oblivion. And worst of all, it was silent. Dead silent.

"It never occured to you to bring a flashlight?" Near grumbled. Even this darkness was too much for him; he couldn't have fixed his eyes if he wanted to. It was cold; he stuck close enough to Mello to be able to feel the older boy's body heat, and smiled, satisfied.

Still, Mello was beginning to unnerve him a little, and his bare feet prodded the stairs cautiously as he ascended. There was no telling what was going on in his head. Near was grateful poor Matt was on a trip.

"Sorry if I was in a HURRY..."

"We had hours to kill before night, Mello, it's no excuse..."

Mello looked into the abyss, continuing to walk up the stairs, feet softly pattering against the stone. As they ascended, a small ball of nervousness began to tighten inside of Mello, squeezing with every step. Slowly, Mello reached towards his shoulder, as if the very action soothed him, which it did not. It was a habitual move every time he would think about. No, Mello. Stop.

"Light..."

It was a flicker of yellow that brought his eyes upon the surroundings. Stone steps and walls, ending in a door. A wooden door. Light flooded under wooden gateway, and Mello glanced at Near, finally able to see the pale flesh, white even in the thick shadow. The temperature changed abruptly from freezing to a comfortable warmth. He hadn't noticed the hand that securely gripped his shoulder, as if he would die without it.

Near turned away from Mello and the light alike, squinting, raising a pale hand to cast his eyes into shadow. He swore internally, words he'd never spoken aloud thundering through his mind. He should have fixed his eyes when he had the chance. There was no excuse. And there was nothing he could do about it now. He glanced at Mello's hand, squeezing his shoulder...what was _with _that?

"Mello, are you alright?"

Mello didn't reply, staring at the door in a sort of trance. What was behind it? Why was the symbol? And the...something...his eyes flickered and he lowered his hand from the shoulder.

"I'm fine..."

Mello inhaled softly and breathed out slowly, pressing a hand to the door and pushing it open. What met his eyes was a huge room, lit by what seemed like old torches.

"Near. Puzzle."

He walked in, beholding what seemed like the world's largest sliding puzzle. The tiles themselves were three feet by three feet, at the least. It was a white puzzle, an unidentifiable object painted in black upon the tile. Twenty by twenty tiles. Oh god.

And he looked around, no windows, just stone wall.

"It is a trial..."

Near glanced back, eyes unable to widen, and then looked around uneasily, raising a hand to his chest. Something was off about this place. It threw him off balance.

"I've played these kinds of puzzle games before. Most of the time, something happens if you complete it. We have to, then."

Just like a sickening video game...where was Matt when they really needed him?

"Mello...we shouldn't have come."

"NO! I-I mean...let's do it. We've come this far. Let's...try. Someone put these here for a reason. Someone wanted us to find it. Someone...someone...knew something..."

He trailed off, noting something immediately.

"The middle piece is already placed correctly. I think it's stuck. Which means we have to work around it." Mello walked over the tiles, observing the crisp lines of black and white. They were very precise and sharp. "I think it's a saying. Are you going to stand there or help me?"

Near gazed down at the tiles, his eyes tracing the black lines carefully.

"Yes, I'll help...a saying...when we solve this, we might have to solve a riddle to continue. The middle being stuck is unusual."

He began to pace, trying to memorize the patterns and locations of the tiles, his index finger twisting a lock of hair so hard that it hurt him.

"This'd...be easier if we had a bird's-eye view." His gaze flicked to Mello. "And don't think I'm giving you permission to lift me."

"I don't have a way to overview it. The tiles are light and we can't pick them up...and..."

Mello walked over to the wall, pressing a hand against it and looking up at the ceiling, backing up and straining his eyes into the darkness. The ceiling...a four pointed star; a stone carving of the marking...

"Damn. Damn...DAMN! " Mello gripped his shoulder yet again and clenched his eyes shut. "Get a grip, get a grip, calm down..." He took a deep breath, letting his arm fall limp to the side and stared at Near, an expression of arrogant defiance written on his face. "Let's...start now."

A "don't ask" soft of tone edged its way into his voice. Near blinked, gazing down at the tiles. He nudged one with his big toe, and it moved slightly, shoving the rest of the row with it.

"I think this one goes in the corner to your left," Near murmured, his tone apathetic. "The design is sharp. I think it's a capital letter."

He removed the small box in his pocket and placed it on the tile to mark it, and continued moving around the puzzle, clearing a path to fit the proper block into its place. Mello's mental state no longer concerned him to the same extent as it did before; if he wanted to leave Near in the dark, fine, but Near had been humiliated and exposed over the past hour, and he was getting irritated with Mello's own secrecy.

"It's Latin, you can tell. I think this piece is the opposite corner piece."

Mello wasn't sure if he could help other than putting together the picture in his head...

"The first word I think is...nulli." Mello scrutinized the board carefully, determined to be as much a help to the puzzle master as he could be. "This is the piece of the 'u.'"

He placed a foot on the piece and looked to find another one.

"Latin, Latin...the one subject that never interested me in the slightest. Latin...the dead language." Near slid the tile from under Mello's foot, then retrieved his capsule box from the top of his corner tile and fixed it, as well. His keen eyes sought out the curve of the 'U' and he continued to piece it together.

"As such, my worst subject. I guess interest begets intelligence."

It didn't take long for Near to finish, but...the irony of the Latin phrase was sickening. It sparked a flicker of anger in Mello's very blood...

"Nulli Secundus...Second To None..."

As always, Near had completed the puzzle without much of an effort, although Mello was the one scattering around finding the letters. The last piece lay before him, begging to be pushed over, the last half of the 'S.' A sapphire gaze flickered to the albino boy and he pressed his foot against the last tile, slipping it into place. As he did, a loud click echoed through the room and what he once thought was a wall gave a mighty groan, sending tremors through the ground. The far side of the room gave a heaving screech and a tired moan, dust spewing everywhere as it moved aside to reveal a red-carpeted hallway, illuminated with more torches. The tremors sent Mello leaning against the wall for support, and wondering numbly if anyone down in Wammy's heard that. How the HELL could they not? Mello bit his lip, steadying himself and nodding to Near.

Near gazed down the hallway briefly, then down at the words on the ground. His Latin wasn't _that _bad. He mimicked Mello, biting his lower lip and then glancing up at the golden-haired teenager, concern flickering in his own icy eyes. It was no coincidence...and Near was no idiot...

"Mello, are you sure about this?" he asked again, quietly. He wasn't afraid anymore. If all the tower consisted of were puzzles, he'd be fine, but again, there was something wrong with the scrawled message, oh, yes, there was. He couldn't hold Mello's gaze. He turned away, an idle finger moving to his hair, and stared down the corridor.

"No, I am not. Someone specifically set this up to draw me in. Something just doesn't sit well about this place, but...I have to know what is at the end of this mess."

Mello took a few steps and crossed the threshold, stopping abruptly as something hit his ears. Was that the sound of a flute?

"Near. I hear music."

The statement was brief, and low; a warning tone. He wasn't going to turn back though. Not now. Mello strained his ears to find it was indeed a flute. Near's voice was soft, his tone low.

"I hear it too. Come on."

He sensed Mello's unease, and didn't like it. He didn't understand the logic of PREFERING the arrogant bastard side of him, but then...he shook his head. Near knew the feeling in his chest. He was afraid. He just didn't want to admit it.

He sighed and gently grabbed Mello's hand, squeezing lightly and leading him on.

Mello knew Near's eyes were far better in the dark, so he allowed him to grip his hand, leading him through the carpeted hallway. To be honest, he was afraid of what was at the end of this tower, but not too afraid. He still had his pride, so he let Near's hand drop after awhile, choosing instead to follow his footfalls. Thoughts drifted through his mind, but he paid no heed, peering through the darkness.

"Dead end with a puzzle..."

He was three feet away from a stone wall, on it written obsidian symbols that matched nothing ever recorded in history. They were not any popular language, any dead dialect...

"Hm..." Mello pressed his palm against a symbol, tracing it with his pointer finger. "It says, 'Look to the wall's eyes to find your way.'"

The eyes. The eyes...

"We have to look for the four-pointed stars. Two eyes, two stars. They should be somewhere along the wall. We need to find them, and I'm guessing they're buttons..."

He didn't elaborate how he knew what the foreign symbols meant, and from the way he spoke, he wasn't going to at the moment. Near caught this. He lowered his head and gazed back at the wall, brows furrowed, hair messily shrouding his vision. His fears were only growing worse, and Mello wasn't helping...no one else helped.

Near's eyes sought out the stars Mello spoke of, and he wished, with every aspect of his being, that he had something soft to hug. He felt empty, alone, and terrified, and he hated it.

Something glinted at him beneath a torch, and Near's gaze flicked toward it. Upon closer inspection, it was revealed to be one of the two stars.

"Here's one," Near said calmly. "Stand over here. I think we should probably press them at the same time."

It didn't take long to find the second star, and Near stood, gazing at it. There was something wrong. Something wrong. His heart burned in his chest. "Okay," he said, his voice quiet. "Got it...tell me when."

Mello approached the first mark and nodded in silent agreement. This thing...it wasn't made for just him. It was made for two people.

Someone...knew that Mello would come.

Someone knew he would bring Near.

Someone was fucking with them pretty damn well.

Mello sensed Near's unease, although the albino did one hell of a job hiding it. Still, it was something, and he placed the tip of his finger on the button.

"Hey, Near...?"

Near's finger had mirrored Mello's, and his gaze locked on his rival's face. Terror tore through him like a pair of scissors through a white sheet of tissue paper, but he shook it off. Fear was illogical. He needed his mind, not his emotions.

"Yes, Mello?"

He hoped to GOD this was nearing the end of the puzzles. He prayed that the eye was not an omen, but, as all things go, it most likely was something of the sort, forewarning of things to come.

Mello gazed back at Near, locking his blue eyes with Near's ghostly ones. The blonde had seen them before, but Near's true eyes were almost beyond blue. Lighter than the lightest shade, practically transparent, the albino's eyes were the color of the sky, icy and stormy at times...

It was as if Near's eyes were the most unreachable shade of cerulean...and there was fear in them. Fear, terror, if not for a split second, but it was there. Mello's own eyes glinted at Near's emotions, with a protectiveness muddled in with the fear.

"Absit omen," Mello whispered. "Count. I'm ready."

He wasn't.

Near shivered and broke the gaze, Mello's terror melting his own barriers. For only a moment, Near lowered his hand, his heart fluttering, his eyes wide, and every single thing he feared flashing in his mind.

The barriers went up again. If Mello was insecure, Near had to be the strong one. That...was fine.

"One," and his hand was ready.

"Two," and his fingers were pressed to the eye, lightly.

He glanced at Mello again, his head bowed, his silver bangs casting a shadow over his pale face. His fingers twitched.

"...three."

-

Yes, it's a cliffhanger. You'd think you guys'd know me that well by now. Review to get chapter four faster.

And yes, I am a very arrogant little child. That's why I RP Near. -lips twitch-


	4. Courage

Suspension of disbelief, please! This story explains certain parts of the plots with little to no hesitation. :3

No long annoying note here. Enjoy!

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**_Chapter Four - Courage_**

* * *

_"Three."_

Mello pressed his finger into the center of the eye, and suddenly, he was on the ground. He clutched his shoulder, expression contorted with pain. He felt liquid seeping down his arm, but he bit back the hideous pain that now sparked through him. He was down on his knees, and gasping for air, as the last of the shockwaves left.

Near's eyes widened; with a swiftness he wasn't aware he was capable of, he dropped to Mello's side, a gentle hand on Mello's uninjured arm, the other supporting him. The smell of blood was overwhelming, and Near could barely whimper, let alone speak, for fear of gagging.

And then there was another click, as the wall with the ominous symbols swung back, Revealing what appeared to be a bed...and in the background, shelves of books...

"Ne...Near. Agh...it reacted. Fuck...it hurts..."

"M-Mello! What reacted? What's going on?"

Mello withdrew the hand from his shoulder, feeling sickened as vermillion strings of blood danced upon his fingers. It hurt. Terribly.

The blonde grimaced as a stream of blood dripped down his arm, splashing onto the floor. Mello gripped his shirt and pulled it over his head, falling back against the wall a moment as the sleeve was peeled off. His entire arm was stained in crimson, and upon his shoulder, the symbol. The Eye...black as pitch, and carved around the edges.

Mello pressed the ruined shirt upon the bleeding mark, hissing softly at the sting.

Near watched him, and recalled the way Mello had grabbed his wrist at the computer desk, the way he had made Near turn away, the sound of bandages, the way he had flinched when Near grabbed his shirt to stay steady...

His barriers shattered.

Near's hand traveled lower, and he gripped Mello's hand tightly, squeezing harder than he had before. He disregarded his previous questions; they didn't matter. Nothing mattered, except...

"Mello...are you okay?"

"It'll stop. God...I haven't been Shocked like that in years. It's embedded...into my skin. Down to the bone. The Eye...the Eye...ngh. Near...someone knew..."

Mello winced, gripping Near's hand as the climax of pain hit him, signaling the end of the Shock and sending his body into painful spasms. He clung to the frail hand, gritting his teeth and shuddering off the last of the searing agony. Mello's chest was coated in a film of quickly drying blood, his left arm completely red. Mello's heart felt like it was attempting to explode from his ribs, lungs capturing breath at an unhealthily fast rate.

"It's over. I'm fine now." The pain was absolutely gone, replaced with the ever-familiar numbness. "From an exam...to a Shocking. Bad day." He locked eyes with Near, regret laced in with a muddled mess. "Sorry, didn't tell you earlier. Important, wasn't it?"

"...i-idiot..." Near whispered weakly. He hurt LOOKING at Mello; he could barely imagine the pain Mello must have felt...no, he couldn't imagine it. At all. His hand felt crushed by Mello's previous clenching...so he squeezed Mello's hand again, in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. His eyes freely showed his sympathy. Not pity, but sympathy.

"Yeah," he said finally. "Important. Before we continue, please...explain...and if it's going to happen again, tell me what I can do to help...because I didn't like seeing you like that." He didn't know why he did it, but he put a gentle hand against Mello's bare chest, over his heart. "Your heartbeat is accelerated. As is your breathing pattern, now." He wiped some of the blood from Mello's shoulder, tentatively, with the cuff on his sleeve, still holding Mello's trembling hand...or maybe it was his own that was trembling...Mello regarded him cautiously and squeezed back, internally grateful for the comfort from this unlikely source.

Near knew a lot already...he might as well know the rest. Mello leaned his head back against the wall.

"Rituals. They used seven. For rituals...but we were only children. One for each virtue...mine was Courage. Seven of us, though there were eight total...they never retrieved the eighth. It wasn't necessary. Each of us were embedded with the Eye. Sacrifices. They controlled us like animals. Shocking us. Slaves...slaves to the people of "The Eye." A cult. We were to be sacrificed to a demon, who would in turn grant the followers with immortality. The virtues...but...something went wrong. Hope. She died. They Shocked her so badly, she died, and with that...the hopes for immortality were vanquished. They killed everyone. And I ran...I fled. The seven lost virtues have become one..."

Mello closed his eyes a moment, slowing his breathing down to a somewhat normal rate. The entire dictation made sense, but it was almost unbelievable. And so rushed...no details, no elaboration. He remembered Hope...Hope had the Eye upon her forehead. God...the Shocks killed her...and Mello turned a little to look at Near. His pale eyes were cloudy in his contemplation.

Supernatural. Yes, the word could actually pass through Near's mind unstopped now. He didn't cut himself off...no...it was supernatural, and Mello was part of it. Too many questions unanswered, too many questions he didn't WANT answered.

Near continued to wipe the blood from Mello's arm. He was confused, and the lack of knowledge crippled him, but that was okay. Mello appeared to be in less pain, and Near's thumb was stroking the back of his hand, though the small albino didn't realize it until the movement caught his eye. He didn't stop.

"You were the only one to escape...are...are they still looking for you Me...ro?"

His voice cracked, and his body jolted at it; he bowed his head, staring down at the pool of blood surrounding Mello's left arm. His own body was humiliating him. He was concerned. He was lost. He was terrified.

And above all, it was his uncertainty that made his thumb rub just a little bit harder against the back of Mello's hand.

"They are dead. Near...you're hurt? Near..."

Mello's eyes seemed to be glazed slightly, as if the very action of Shocking had left him utterly out of his mind. The blonde pulled his hand away from Near's and pressed it against the albino's cheek, pausing a second, as if rethinking the action. The emotion in his eyes was now a complete mess, unintelligible garble that not a soul could decipher. He seemed...lost...they both did.

Lost in a haze of emotion...

"You're hurt...Nia...the Shock..."

"I don't understand the Shock you're talking about, Mello," Near said uneasily, his eyes wide. "I'm not hurt. You are. Your arm...aren't...you in pain?"

Mello moved his bloodied arm, having slight difficulty with it. No blood poured from the wound any longer.

"Nia, you are hurt!"

He sounded choked, eyes widening in realization. Near was terrified for him. Near was hurting for HIM.

Near raised a hand to the one on his cheek, gathering Mello's fingers in his hand and bringing it from his face gently. His eyes were sad and confused, and clearly reflected the terror and insanity in Mello's...Near brought the hand to his lips briefly, kissing the palm and then lowering it.

"It's going to be okay, Mello," Near said, though it probably wouldn't, and he knew it. His voice was strong, but his heart ached, and his eyes were burning because the fire was flickering so brightly from the torches. He brushed hair from Mello's face. "Be brave, okay?"

"Numb. Drains. Energy. Eyes..."

Mello stared into Near's iridescent eyes. Despite his absolutely disoriented state, he could feel his companion's pain. He could sense it in the very air he breathed. The Shocking was mild, compared to the others, but still, the sight of one occurring was truly brutal...

"Hurt by...the light? Hide them in sha-dow..."

The sentence was slurred and Mello's eyelids were drooping. In a sudden movement, the blonde pulled Near with his arm, yanking him by the collar gently, forcing his eyes into the non-crimson side of his neck, where the light would not reach them. Near struggled at first, attempting to push away, but then relaxed; his eyelashes tickled Mello's neck.

"Eyes...yours...far less painful. Don't worry...recover...hours..."

And with that final string of garbled dialect, Mello descended into the darkness of unconsciousness.

Near pulled away briefly, and he stared down at his tormented riv...no...his tormented _ally_...with something close to regret in his eyes. He was grateful Mello's breathing had evened out, grateful that the poor soul had lapsed into some form of rest, but he refused to sleep, despite how late it must have been.

He refused to let Mello sleep unguarded.

If his pain hurt Mello, his comfort didn't matter. Near took the cartridge from his pocket and put his lenses in, sighing in relief as the light seemed to weaken around him...no. He wouldn't sleep...not yet. He raised a finger to his hair for a moment, then stopped and moved it to Mello's instead, and for the time Mello slept, darkened and weak eyes gazed down at him, and a small, pale hand stroked golden locks away from his tortured face.

(NS)

One eye cracked open after two hours of forced sleep, one blue eye frantically looked around, in the dim light picking up the vision of his counterpart.

"Ngh...Near? Where...oh, the tower. Have you...been there the whole time?"

"I have."

He definitely knew some explanation was due, and he knew he was going to give it one way or another. Mello brought his clean arm to the wall, bracing himself to stand up shakily, and, exhausted, Near rose to stand beside him.

The black shirt Mello had come in was ruined, plastered over his mark in a sticky mess of fibers and blood. Mello ripped it off, noting how purely black the mark was, as if the blood had never touched it. His gaze dropped to the floor, where a lovely pool of browning red coagulated merrily under his bare feet. He looked down at Near, dropping the shirt in the pool and sighing.

"I'm sorry for not revealing this load of shit. It wasn't something I'd like to share..."

And his reasons were simple. The mark was a symbol of shame, something that could bring Mello down to his knees and make him cry in pain.

"The...music stopped when we pressed the buttons, didn't it?"

"Yes, it did. The music...does that play into any part of this?"

His eyes ached, and not from the light. His hand seemed to raise itself, and he gripped Mello's fingers, this time more as if he was afraid to let go..._terrified _of letting go. What was going on, anyway? He wasn't sure, but he didn't care. Near, Number One Near, honestly couldn't have cared less about his intelligence...his mind was focused on Mello's security, his exhausted body focused on Mello's touch, his tired, weak eyes focused on Mello's face. Near tightened his grip on Mello's fingers.

"Why are we here?"

Near was tired. No, he seemed utterly trashed, and he had watched over Mello despite all things, all hatred and rivalries. Wait, rivals? In this secluded place, they couldn't be rivals, for...not one ounce of hatred did Mello feel for this boy at the moment. In fact, he felt absolutely...confused.

"No, it doesn't...I think it was just to lure us here. I have the feeling that the puppet master knew exactly who they were dealing with. A giant puzzle, the Shock..."

Mello did not pull his fingers away from Near, focused on his question instead, and the contact was not unwelcome...

"We are here because of my damned curiosity... And the next room..."

Melo glanced into the doorway and back at Near.

"Are you still with me?"

"Your inferiority complex should not render you idiotic," Near said tiredly, shaking his head in slight disbelief at the question. "Of course I'm with you. I'm not abandoning you here."

It was decided. Near smiled then, a true smile, and even though he was exhausted, confused, and downright terrified, for once, he was grateful, and almost happy, to be by Mello's side...for once, maybe he could help him, and maybe, just maybe, Mello wouldn't hate him so much anymore. The thought wiped the exhaustion from Near's body, and he felt refreshed. He met Mello's eyes and his smile grew.

"Come on."

Mello gazed upon the smile, the honest smile, and something crossed his expression. The boy nodded in agreement, walking carefully into the next room. What he came across astonished him; a huge bed, surrounded by mounds of books and shelves, and a desk at the corner. Again, torchlight sufficed to illuminate the room, though, and there is was, plain as day, a note upon the bed. Mello approached the mattress with caution, plucking the folded piece of paper off the cream-colored sheets.

"To the finders of The Loft..."

Mello glanced around, gazing at the purely overwhelming amount of books, noting how there was wallpaper here, and another doorway seeming to lead into a bathroom. The blonde shook his head in utter surprise, almost not believing it, it was a bedroom, complete with a bathroom adjacent to it and more books it seemed than a library could stock.

The bed was the only piece of furniture in the room besides the desk, but Mello refused to sit upon it, choosing the red-carpeted floor instead.

Near glanced around at the books in awe, his eyes wide at the vast selection. His gaze traveled back down to Mello after a few moments of hungrily drinking in the sight, and he sat beside him, staring.

"Finders?"

"Near, I think I know who did this..."

This was the last room. There were no more tricks...hopefully.

But Hope seemed dead...In more ways than one.

"I don't understand...is this for us? Or does someone live here, Mello? The Loft..." He shook his head. "And the finders...? It's...I can't even..."

He growled lowly and averted his gaze, glaring toward the bathroom. He was unnerved, though he didn't know why, and he edged closer to Mello. He was thinking hard. Way too hard. Mello sighed.

"One hint, one letter. L."

He growled to himself, fully understanding why his mentor did such a thing but not in approval of it at all. L was the only one familiar with his problem and go figure, he exploited it. Mello opened the note and begun to read the cleanly typed text aloud.

"To the both of you who have come to this small corner, I congratulate you. This place is my inheritance to you both, the place I created and stowed away for your benefit. I know that pain was inflicted upon you and for that I am truly sorry. If it had not been for the pain, you would not have opened the last door. In this room you will find volumes I have collected, knowledge not held by the library below you, some of it forbidden. I must warn you no volumes may leave this room.

You most likely are in a state of angry confusion and for that I also apologize to you both. By coming this far, you have done what I hoped and worked together. Remember, however painful it may be, this pain can bring out the most intense qualities of a person."

Mello sighed in annoyance. The note was not signed, and it didn't need to be.

"What the hell does he need us for? The guy is psychic. I think he meant for us to find this place when we did. Look at all this. And the desk..."

Mello stood up, setting the note back on to the bed and walking over. To his utter amusement, as he pulled the top drawer open, there was a map of Wammy's house, and at least five secret entrances to the Loft. The same drawer also held two golden keys, identical in shape and size...

"He expects us to come here. Obviously a LOT. And honestly, this is tempting. Look at all these books..."

"Mello," Near said quietly, his gaze downcast. He examined the minor scratches on the back of his hands. "Both of us. He said both of us. Your dealings with...all of those things you told me...obviously, L knew you would come. But between the letter, and the eyes...the puzzle..."

He glanced up then, and his grey eyes were so _tired_.

"How...did he know you'd bring me? Or no...how did he know I'd come?"

"I have no idea. Rightly, I'm not even sure what the hell he wants us to do. We can't live here or anything."

Mello placed the map down and went to examine the bathroom. Unlike the other places, it had a light switch. Wow.

"Near, I'm going to turn on the light."

He paused a few seconds and pressed the switch, and scanned what seemed to be an ordinary gray bathroom, with a dresser. A dresser? Mello opened the dresser drawer and closed it.

"Near, to be honest, I swear our mentor is a stalker. Come in here and grab a shower, your clothes are in here. Mine too. The fuck does he think we are going to do? I say we take advantage of this. No matter how creepy it seems."

Mello walked out, noting the fact that the dimness and brightness of the light could be adjusted with a dial as he pressed the knob that controlled it.

Near winced sharply as he entered the room and raised a hand to his temple; he gripped the doorframe for support, eyes clamped shut.

"Just...give me a second, Mello," he gasped softly, pressing his forehead into the frame. His arms trembled with the effort of keeping himself up. His eyes burned...he wasn't supposed to wear his lenses when exhausted, but it was so bright...he was tired, but he didn't want to sleep...

Mello watched Near's struggle, sighing softly at the display. He knew Near's eyes must have been hurting like hell, and the poor creature looked as if we was going to pass out. He walked over and turned the brightness down to the dimmest setting, sparing the poor boy the feel of burning eyes.

"Be careful, and don't sleep-drown, alright?"

His tone was sarcastic, but there was concern mixed in with it. He would be lying to himself to say he wasn't concerned. Who wouldn't be? Near looked like he could barely stand. It felt like he was letting a blind man walk into rush hour traffic.

"...do you need help?"

"N-no, I'm...fine. I...have to take these out though."

Near opened his eyes reluctantly, and sighed softly in relief at Mello's thoughtfulness. He opened his eyes fully, unafraid of the dimmed lights.

"Thank you." He took his contacts out carefully, thinking. "I'm amused right now, actually...everything adds up. L expected this. All of it. The exams being posted today, the heightened security back at the House, the puzzle...our clothes."

Mello had to admit, he was impressed, and slightly disturbed, by the fact that L had planned for him to get Shocked, as well as he had planned for him to notice the star and everything.

"He even got the fucking weather perfect, and stocked the bathroom."

This much preparation. Especially the sliding puzzle. THAT was elaborate.

Crystal-blue eyes blinked to readjust, and Near snapped the lense case shut. "Even the dimmer switch. Everything was planned out. Well. Almost everything."

"Almost? What wasn't planned out do you think?"

Near stared at Mello as though mildly disappointed.

"One bed. One shower. Two of us. And I am not sleeping in the bathtub."

He wouldn't have minded, really, but he was actually rather amused by all that was going on. L was his idol for a reason; the man drove him insane and at the same time, Near respected him greatly. Only L could have brought them into such tight quarters without anyone getting killed.

Mello blinked at him and rolled his eyes, crossing his arms in front of him and leaning against the doorframe.

"Near, I don't have AIDs, despite what Linda believes and spreads through the orphanage. But I see your point and I am not sure if I want to share. In that case, I am sure L stocked something in this place. If not, I'll sleep on the floor."

He sighed and eyed Near. They couldn't exactly turn back easily and go to their own rooms, and it was Sunday tomorrow anyway. No one looked for anyone on a Sunday unless they fucked up big time. They could spend the night here without much of a fuss at all, and L had definitely rigged and soundproofed the whole tower.

"So this is our inheritance. A secret room full of passageways and books. Geez. I'd laugh if my arm weren't giving me a lovely reminder of L's generosity..."

He snorted and massaged the sore mark, annoyed and amused at the same time.

Though he snickered softly at the mention of Mello's AIDs, once the older boy's arm was brought to his attention again, Near's smile vanished, and he very gently touched his companion's arm, about an inch from the massaging fingers.

"It wasn't that, I just can't believe he put only one bed here. Even at Wammy's, roommates are provided extra beds...unless he planned this, too, to see if we could cooperate."

His gaze remained locked onto Mello's shoulder. Somehow, Mello's pain made him ache inside...and in an instant, for the first time, Near felt a flash of anger and hatred for L.

Mello didn't pull away at the gentle touch, knowing all too well that the urge to feel the mark was overwhelming. Mello grabbed Near's hand, moving it to the freezing-cold portion of his skin. Despite being Shocked, the skin was like ice, the black mark a vast temperature drop beside his warm skin.

"It doesn't hurt anymore."

Mello allowed him a few more moments of contemplation and pulled away.

"I'll sleep on the floor. No offense, but you look like shit, and I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but I do _not _feel comfortable sharing a bed. Now shower off and go to bed. I'll get in after you, understand?"

Mello nodded to Near, who bowed his head in return, and closed the door behind him as he left. He took a seat at the desk and opened the top drawer again, withdrawing the two keys and examining them.

He found that the bedroom also, was equipped with a light switch, and carefully adjusted the light to the dimmest setting yet again. He walking around and glancing over the titles of the books. There were easily hundreds of books, some enormous and some tiny. There were instruction manuals, fantasy tales, histories of things, none of which he knew by title. He felt overwhelmed by the sheer number of books already...what was L planning?

In all honestly, he was starting to feel sick. The aftereffects of Shocking were not new to him, but he hadn't felt them in so long. Mello bit back his mild stomachache and without much hesitation, pulled open the left drawer, finding what appeared to be more office and art supplies in one space than he had ever seen in his lifetime. Not even Linda could compare with this. Mello closed the drawer and leaned back in the desk chair, staring at the ceiling. He allowed his eyelids to flutter shut for a moment. There was just too much that had happened. Near was one of those things. The albino had, in one day, turned an angry Mello from rival to ally...

What _were _they to each other, anyway?

* * *

Too many answers to too many questions. x3


	5. Pawns

I wasn't happy with that ending, but I had to cut the chapter short or it would have been TWICE as long. The role-play flowed directly from here, into...well...chapter six. ;) You MxN fans'll LOVE that chapter.

Review please! ('o')

* * *

**_Chapter Five - Pawns _**

* * *

Near nodded solemnly at the closed door, sighing softly and glancing at the shower. Dimmed lights...didn't cut it. He turned them off.

As he stripped, his fingers still tingled from the mark on Mello's skin, so cold that it had burned, and he wondered, vaguely, how it had been Branded onto his shoulder, how much it hurt...

The blood on his hands, arms, and face had already dried, and he turned the shower on as hot as he could stand it...the burning water washed away the burning ice. The blood broke and ran down his pale skin in rivulets, and he bowed his head beneath the hot spray, his eyes cloudy with the mist, his hair dripping. He wondered briefly if L's bills would be added to their inheritance as well...it didn't matter. He didn't care. Right now, he felt a cold fury for the famous detective.

Besides. He didn't want to get out. He leaned a pale cheek against the cool, wet wall and sighed, the hot water slowly washing away his pain and fear.

Only reluctantly did Near finally shut the hot water off, more to save it for Mello than anything. He stepped out into the darkness; the only light came from the cracks around the door, and that was just fine for him. As he dried himself, his fingers brushed against his shoulder briefly and he shuddered; humans were humans, and though he was built differently than Mello, the familiar feel of his own skin seemed foreign under a hand that had touched Mello's.

He was unsure what he felt just then, as he got dressed into the clothing L had provided for them (the creep). Maybe he was just exhausted. He hadn't slept in too long. Maybe he was afraid, for himself, or for Mello...yes, for Mello. What he felt was a mixture of fear and concern. He ached to hold a stuffed rabbit, and settled for hugging the towel to his chest when he was fully clothed; he bowed his head to shroud his eyes with his hair before exiting, and half-closed his eyes to block out the dim light. It was still too much. It hurt.

"Mello, your turn," he said. "And if it's alright with you, I want you to take the bed." Even as he said it, he was setting the bundled towel on the ground and resting his head against it. He wasn't open to debate.

"Fine with me, if you really want to."

Mello stood up groggily and pushed the chair in, stalking into the bathroom and casting a glance at the dresser before closing the drawer. He had to literally peel his clothes off of his body, as they were sticking to his skin. He noted the hamper and cocked his head in confusion. There had to be a passageway into the wash room. Otherwise, this would not be here.

He logged the fact away for later and started the shower, turning the water to the hottest temperature possible. He stepped into the water, shuddering and clutching the stinging mark as the needles of water drove into it. Mello rubbed off the film, watching as the floor turned a light pink with blood. Soap and shampoo were already provided, and a thorough scrubbing of his body later, Mello flipped the water off and massaged the water off with a fluffy towel. He opened the dresser drawer and blinked at the freakish sight. God...L was just plain creepy at times. Mello quickly dressed himself and dug deeper into the dresser. Blankets.

"Hm..."

He gripped a soft blanket and pulled it out, throwing it over his shoulder and quietly opening the door. Near was still curled on the floor, his eyes closed. Mello watched him silently for a moment. Then...

"Near. You awake?"

Near opened his eyes to stare at Mello, the icy blue refracting the light for only a moment before the albino averted his gaze again.

"Yes, Mello."

The floor was soft and inviting, but sleep didn't call to him. His mind was too active. If he'd known they wouldn't be going back down to Wammy's, he would've brought some of his toys to comfort him; nothing here smelled like home, and he was in a state of discontent. No, sleep would not come easily...Mello seemed to sense this.

"I found you something," the older boy said calmly. He walked over, bending down to his new ally and sitting beside him upon the floor. He held up the blanket in a silent offer.

"You can't sleep?"

He could perfectly understand any reason why, as he felt exhausted as well, but not wishing to fall into darkness. Near's gaze flicked to the blanket, then up to Mello's eyes. In the moment their gazes locked, Near shivered once, violently, and tore it away again.

"No. I am...confused. And I don't like it. My body is tired, but my mind is too active."

"Then let your mind slip away."

Mello felt so dirty uttering those words. They'd been used on him once before, hypnotism of a sort, and he was using it on Near. The latter shook his head slightly.

"Look at my eyes, Near..."

Mello gently turned Near's chin until they made eye contact, and he began to massage Near's neck with one finger. "There is nothing to think about, nothing at all, no confusion, nothing..." The trick had been used upon him before by Hope, and it had sent him spiraling into the most dreamless sleep. "Sleep, sleep, close your eyes..."

Near blinked rapidly, his eyelashes fluttering, his gaze locked with Mello's, ice-blue against sapphire, a glacier in the midst of an ocean. Mello's voice was intoxicatingly gentle, laced with the hypnotic tone that Hope had taught him. He continued the gentle motions along Near's neck, careful and calming.

"Just follow my eyes into sleep. Forget your worries."

Just then, Near was hit with the crushing blow of reality; he was a pawn. This wasn't a game to him, no, he wasn't playing...he was just part of the game, part of L's game, and Mello...he didn't know if Mello was playing or being played with, but he knew he couldn't help, and he forced his gaze away from Mello, unwillingly, tears prickling at his eyes. He was confused, and that bothered him...but the only thing he'd really, truly known in life, the one thing he really believed, was that L was a perfect model, his hero, and everything he aspired to be.

But...as of that moment...Near couldn't think of a time where he'd hated anyone more. Mello's gentle hand both comforted and burned him, and Near was tense beneath it, afraid and longing, hesitant and eager...Mello was trying to comfort him, and the thought of it pleased him...but if he was just a pawn on a chessboard...Near inhaled shakily and forced his head back onto the towel.

After a moment, he rolled over, his back to Mello, his eyes glistening with the tears that he wouldn't allow to fall...not with Mello there.

"Vymm ehdu crytuf cfaad uha...vun oui crymm yfyga du mekrd..."

The foreign words crooned out of Mello's mouth quietly, spoken as a lullaby, asnd he draped the blanket over the younger boy.

Mello had caught the look in Near's eyes, and he knew why it was there. It was a tragic thing to show someone the true face of their idol, and the poor little one seemed so confused, so vulnerable and depressed. It tugged at his usually hideously angry heart, and he couldn't ignore the ridiculously powerful feeling of protectiveness. Mello entwined his fingers with Near's small hand, massaging the back of it gently.

"It's alright..."

"If my skills could have been of any use to you when you were in agony," Near whispered, his fingers squeezing Mello's lightly, "I wouldn't mind being a pawn...some pawns stay on the board until the end, and some even participate in the formation that traps the king..." His fingers subconsciously clenched tighter. "I'm not that kind of pawn..."

"You're right; you are the pawn that becomes the fallen queen...don't dwell on it. Just sleep."

He was going to wait for Near's eyes to close. He'd already had his little nap anyway; he could last awhile. Mello's fingers continued their massaging movements while his other hand snaked to the side of Near's neck, gently rubbing the soft skin. The hypnotism technique was simple, and effective, forcing one's body to relax their mind with words and movements.

"I am fine. It's alright."

Near didn't want to sleep...but Mello actions were comforting, his words soothing, and his mere presence, the warm aura, made it almost impossible for Near to fight it any longer. Sighing softly, he closed his eyes.

For the first time, he was grateful for someone else's touch on his skin...

He doubted he'd have fallen asleep otherwise...

Mello watched him until his breathing evened out, and even then he was reluctant to let go. Why was he acting this way anyway? Near was supposed to be his rival... The obstacle to his...but...Mello nipped his lower lip. What was this little boy doing to him?

No...

What was the Eye doing to this little boy, through _him_?

It had caused so much instability, shaking both of them out of their usual modes. Mello found that this was a bit better than the burning anger always torturing him. Whatever it was, felt nice.

In this place, they were alone, away from eyes, away from pride. Who cared, anyway, if he didn't let go, instead lying down beside Near, the bed totally ignored, maybe slipping closer to him, maybe closing his eyes, maybe still holding Near's hand...

(NS)

Though he felt secure in his sleep, the unfamiliar surroundings and the rushing tempest in his mind made Near wake up sooner than he'd have liked. The pressure on his hand startled him before he remembered last night...last night.

Near glanced back at Mello's sleeping face, and for the first time, saw not a rival, but a teenager, not much older than himself, but with a soul that had suffered enough for a hundred years of life. Near's fingers ached to brush golden hair from his closed, but he restrained himself.

Pawn or not...he'd remain Mello's ally as long as the boy would allow it...

Mello awoke in a way that could scare anyone, and Near flinched to reflect his mild spook. Mello's eyes flew open with a start, exposing two orbs, showing one thing. Terror. Utter paralyzing fear. It was so intense, so sheerly immobilizing. It was then Mello realized he had been holding his breath. With a shuddering sigh he regained himself, the fear thrown away and replaced with an odd mixture of acceptance and content. The nightmare had been pretty bad, and it was perfectly understandable why.

Mello stared at Near, eyes groggy with sleep. Without a word Mello shifted his weight, pulling his legs closer to his body. He felt slightly embarrassed by the position, but it also felt...right. Mello tilted his head downward and blushed slightly.

"...morning."

"Good morning, Mello."

At the greeting, Near couldn't help but smile. He knew better than to ask "How did you sleep?" and as such, he didn't. He'd seen the fear flashing through Mello's eyes, and even though that fear had vanished behind quiet walls of content, it lingered in Near's eyes, and Near's eyes had absorbed too much...

"How is your arm? Any better?"

"Yeah, I'm alright."

Near's smile made Mello's eyes brighten, a small and content smile appeared on his face. Near was apparently so comfortable with the entire situation, and it was almost flattering.

"I don't think I've said 'I hate you' once yet since a couple days ago. And I don't think I will. Not yet at least."

Mello smirked playfully and prodded Near's cheek with a gentle finger, finally realizing he still gripped the boy's thin hand. Mello dropped it and sat up, massaging his head and looking around for a clock. An old fashioned alarm clock stared back at him, reading the time '7:32.' It was still early, and no one bothered on a Sunday to find anyone.

"So much for no sharing, eh? I can't complain though. The floor is comfortable."

Near sat up and rubbed a pale palm into his eyes tiredly. "Yeah, it is. So...are we just going to stay up here for the day? Or are we going down to Wammy's?"

He paused, thinking. The heightened security the night before couldn't have been a coincidence. Which most likely meant...

"Mello, Roger knows. He has to. Maybe...we're not expected to go back any time soon."

"I was thinking the same thing. But what do we do here all day? And we need to eat sometime... Perhaps somewhere there is food in this place?"

Speaking of food...right now he craved a nice bar of chocolate. He pushed the thought away. Near's eyes glimmered, as though he sensed the boy's thinking pattern. Mello glanced down.

"Are you hungry?"

"No," Near answered, shaking his head slowly.

Mello stood up, stretching and yawning a moment before looking around. He browsed the many books with his eyes. One of them was titled, "Mysteries of the Supernatural: Hauntings." He found that seriously odd that L, of all people, would put books not following a logical train of thought into the collection.

Walking over to the desk, he grabbed the handle of the top drawer and snagged the two keys and the map, bringing all articles to the pale creature and sitting beside him, placing one key at his feet and slipping the other into his pocket. He spread the map out between them.

"There are five ways to get here, and these are the keys to open the doors and such. Consequently, there are about fifteen ways to get out, but once you go out you can't come back in the way you went. They use the ventilation system as a cover-up. These are actual tunnels above the system, way more sturdy than the vents. There is a path to the cafeteria, the library, and to the outdoors...and...a garden?"

Mello traced the line way past any of the others. Even the tunnel leading outside didn't go as far as this one. At the end of it was a drawing of a pond surrounded by a huge of a hedge, flowers surrounding everything and trees sheltering the secluded area.

"A secret garden, eh? Wonder if he expects us to grow something. I'm sure there's something about this somewhere in these books. Well, first thing's first, breakfast. I'll go grab something for us and you look for something on this garden. I have to admit, L definitely makes things interesting..."

Near shook his head.

"Over-elaborate is not interesting. And I'm not hungry. I'm too anxious to eat. I don't like this." Pale eyes traveled over the map. "The enclosure...looks more like a place to meditate than to grow anything..."

"I'm guessing he doesn't want us to get too stressed by all of this," Mello replied. "I say we spend the day exploring, finding out how thoroughly prepared our mentor was for us."

Near raised a small hand to entwine his finger into a lock of hair. Though he was calm, his hands were shaking. He didn't know what L had planned, but he didn't trust him anymore. He was still nervous, but that was mostly hidden. He sighed softly and took the key, slipping it into his pocket.

"We can't be up here all the time, Mello. The other students...Linda, especially...will talk."

"Simple solution," Mello said, laughing. "We feed them other stuff. It's so easy to start rumors with Linda that everyone's still talking about how I somehow have AIDS. Honestly, AIDS? Where the hell did she get that idea?" He shook his head, golden locked whipping his face slowly. "No. You shouldn't care about what they say, anyway. It's none of their business. What the hell do you think they are gonna say? What, that I am dragging you off and raping you or something?"

Mello scanned the map again and mused to himself, ignoring the fact that he had mentioned rape and Near in the same group of words. Near's eyes were memorizing the map, taking in every detail hungrily, carving it into his mind. Mello's soft movements behind him made him cease tugging at his hair, and he sighed.

"Linda," Near said quietly, "is one of the most idiotic human beings I have ever met."

"We don't have to come here together, and we don't have to come all the time. That is why we each have a key. And for the record, I am not a rapist."

"Too long has L worked on this, I'm sure. L spends about as much time developing needlessly drawn-out plots as Linda does spreading rumors. And for the record," he added with a soft snicker, gazing up at Mello with something like a mischievous twinkle in his eye, "I'm not a rape victim."

Mello couldn't help it. He burst into laughter. THAT was amusing. He laughed at Near's response, forever going to remember that one.

"Well then, looks like I haven't raped you then, despite you being a natural rape-magnet, no offense. You are just too cute for your own good when you want to be."

Mello smirked back at Near. Yes, he'd just called him cute. He was aware of that fact, but it was only the truth. Near was the most likely person in the entire freaking house to be raped. And the most likely rapist would have probably been Mello, for all his aggressiveness and total inferiority complex, not to mention his mental instability.

"Now that we've straightened that out, are you sure you are not hungry?"

Near stopped tilting his head, in the middle of rolling his eyes, and simply nodded at Mello. A smirk had painted itself over his pale lips without him noticing.

"Not hungry. Mello. Me being called a cute rape victim is ironic, coming from the one who several of the students still believe is a female in disguise."

Might have been pushing it, but his lips spread into a wider grin. He was enjoying himself. He was going to savor it.

"Well I am positive that you know I am not a lady...maybe I should walk around topless tomorrow just to prove that fact." He imagined the look on the other kid's faces' if he were to run amok without his shirt on. "I honestly doubt anyone would try to rape me, considering if they did it I'd take a big fat double-bladed saw to their genitals and carve them out."

He seemed particularly passionate about this topic, for reasons unknown to Near, but the vicious and insane light that had flickered in his eyes was enough to tell anyone that the sadistic things he had just mentioned were replaying in his head.

"Possible Rape Victim, where should we go today? We have all day to do whatever the hell we want to, and I'd love to see how intricate all these tunnels are."

Still donning a bemused grin, Near shook his head, blue eyes glinting. "Wherever you want, Mello. You wanted to check on the garden, so we could always head there. However."

He extended a hand, very lightly brushing Mello's shoulder with his fingertips.

"That needs to stay hidden, and safe, doesn't it? So no running around with your shirt off."

"Bah, I'll just bandage it up and we'll have no problem, although the rumors start about how I got into a massive bar fight and was smacked with a glass bottle or something of the like." Mello gathered up the map and folded it into his pocket carefully. "Not now, I'd actually like to dig into these books first. I have a feeling L put something in here specifically about this thing. Maybe he found something to nullify it, although I seriously doubt it. Nevertheless...well, maybe not books. Maybe I should answer your questions first since I am kind of leaving you in the dark about the whole thing. Go ahead and ask me whatever, I won't lie."

He leaned back on his palms and waited for a question. He was the type of person who put the past behind him and didn't usually dwell on it, and talking about it didn't phase him much. Slightly shocked, Near's smile faded, and he continued to gaze at Mello introspectively, his mind working fast. He was afraid. Not of the answer, not of the question, but of Mello...though he trusted him, at the same time, he couldn't help but feel endangered by asking such horribly personal questions...

Because deep in Near's mind, he was still afraid of Mello as a person. His rival, and the person who made him human...who made him alive.

And who he was almost certain would, someday, take his life...

* * *

Near, you have no fucking idea. xD

OOPS, I said the Fuck-Word. :x


	6. Questions Lead to Questions

Yaoi warning for this chapter. And it's not going to be the only time in the story, either, I'm warning you right now. xD

This was...incredibly fun. Enjoy.

* * *

**_Chapter Six - Questions Lead to Questions_**

* * *

"Question...all right. Let us simply start from the beginning. This cult you spoke of, using people for rituals to summon a demon...why were these, erm, virtues needed? Why you, and the six others?"

"I was told that I was to be fed to the demon, as a violation to God, along with the others. Feeding the embodiment of virtues to a demon sounds like an appropriate sacrifice if you are evil. Yeah, there were seven of us, not much older than you or me. One person for each virtue. We each had the eye in a different place to identify us as the virtues. Hope was the oldest of us, and she acted like our guardian. If one of us fell out of line, Hope took the punishment for us. Love and Empathy were brother and sister, twins, and they were about...six, perhaps seven."

Mello, for being the emotional one, wasn't looking perturbed, only grim. He knew how the story went, and he was going to tell the entire thing and try to keep his head.

"Love, Empathy, Hope...you were Courage..." Near bit his lower lip, gazing intently at Mello as though it were all just another lecture. "Who were the other three? And why were you chosen?"

"Patience and Knowledge were close friends with each other, and Honesty was like Hope's little lean-on. I was chosen 'cause I got some kid his toy back a long time ago from some dumb-ass bully. So they abducted me, killed everyone, and dragged me to the god-forsaken installment."

He cocked his head, trying to remember the details for dictation.

"When I got there Hope took me under her wing, although she was my age. That girl could give Kira a run for his freaking money... She was the one everyone looked up to. She was stronger than any of us in willpower and physical strength."

"And she was the one that died...what happened then? You said something about Shocking?" Near's eyes were unblinking.

"Yeah, she got Shocked to death. There was this one guy, he was absolutely obsessed with her. He was a cultist in charge of discipline, and none of us knew his name, but he'd always take Hope away from us when it was time for bed, and she'd come back with bruises and cuts and her mark would be bleeding. Now I realize what he did to her, and I feel sick remembering it. One day she escaped him though, and she died in front of all of us because of it. We were horrified. And then...he started killing the others off. It started a mass hysteria, but I got out of the room. I grabbed Hope's ring in the process though, the one that they had let her keep for some reason. That day still gives me nightmares..."

Mello sat back up straight, his tone low and sullen.

"I still have that ring. I carry it everywhere."

He reached into his pants pocket, pulling a golden band out and holding it out to Near. The ring was engraved with small hatch marks, the old metal worn, but still very beautiful. Near paled (impossibly) and turned away, uneasy. Mello took note of Near's reaction and slid closer to him, replacing where the map used to sit and replaced the ring in his pocket.

"I...can't imagine how difficult this all must have been...did you come directly to Wammy's after this? What...happened to your parents...?"

"Parents were in the cult. Fucking bitch ran the goddamned show. I don't miss them one bit, trust me. As for Wammy's, I ran like hell until I found a city ad passed out on the street. Some orphanage got me and then L found me a month afterwards. So there you go... That's it."

That was not, in essence, the full story, but it was a fine summary of it. Near's eyes were a clear indication that he was very far from happy, and Mello raised an eyebrow at him.

"Near, don't worry. I put it behind me..."

"No," Near said quietly. "It's...not behind you." He glanced at Mello's shoulder. "Because yesterday, L did something to make it hurt you again. Yesterday, a lot of things happened that weren't...normal...weren't logical. What were those four-point stars? And...what _is _that?"

He indicated Mello's shoulder weakly. He had no problems with what he'd been told; after all, Mello was Mello, and Near had known the same one the whole time...they all had pasts...

"The four-pointed star was the Eye, the mark of the demon who would apparently rise from the depths of our blood and devour us alive. It's actually a magnetized skin, like a tattoo of sorts, but they drove something into us to make it impossible to remove. The things stay active for Shocks. They would take tiny specific waves of electricity and magnify it to shoot us. They rigged it so that the whole thing would bleed and shoot pain though us in different magnitudes. Believe it or not, that Shock from before felt like a baby ride..."

Mello pulled his collar down, sliding his arm out of the shirt and exposing the mark to Near. "If you look closely there is a line of scraping scars around the black where the mark bleeds out of."

Near's fingers ran over it, a phantom's touch.

"I don't need to look closely. I can see it fine. There are still specks of dried blood here...you did not do a very thorough job cleaning. Or does that hurt?"

"It kinda stung, but it's alright."

Near's fingers burned, so he pulled his hand away. He refused to meet Mello's eyes, as he knew his own held the one thing Mello never wanted to see...pity. And...pride.

"Thank you for trusting me with all of this, Mello...it means a lot to me."

"Thanks..."

He wondered if Near noticed him tense under the touch, and how he did not relax as Near pulled away. Near's touch was caring. It showed that he cared for Mello...how much? How much did Near care for him? The question burned into him as soon as it echoed in his mind, and all of a sudden, he was curious. How much did HE actually care for the smaller boy? He didn't hate him. That was obvious. And he trusted him enough...and his touch...Mello's brain was making his already jumbled emotions become seriously confused.

"Near..."

He needed to know. He needed to know.

Mello pulled his hand up to Near's chin, forcing the albino eyes upward. He needed to know how much he felt for this boy; how much Near felt for him...and his emotions were hijacking him again, but he was too curious to fight them.

So Mello gently placed his lips against Near's in a soft kiss, practically out of nowhere, but...Near's lips were soft. He didn't listen to his own twisted forms of logic, the stubborn person he was. He was giving in to emotions that had simply attacked him.

When Mello had spoken his name, Near had been prepared for anything. Part of him expected Mello to request this all be kept secret...another part expected, and even feared, that Mello would tell him to go away. He didn't answer, because the moment Mello touched him, no matter how gently, Near's pulse quickened, his breath coming as a sharp intake of air...

The kiss...was not something he'd expected. Ever. But he didn't struggle, and he relaxed...not kissing back, not pulling away, just staring at Mello, waiting, his emotions consisting of mild curiosity and...whatever was making his heart pound this hard...

Mello stared into the apathetic eyes. So, he had made Near confused, because the boy was certainly reacting, showing the same curiosity he did. It left the initial question unanswered, though. Silent questions with no answers just lead to failure...Mello's eyes flickered the questioning gaze of "What are you going to do now?" Part of him, no, MOST of him, wanted to pull away and apologize immediately. The portion of him that was still curious made him apply a bit of pressure onto Near's lips, not enough to hurt, but enough to ask for a response.

Near made a small, shocked noise against Mello's mouth, and began to draw away...he was...unsure of what was going on, and there it was, that uncertainty that terrified him so, so badly...but...

When unsure, it was Mello that protected him, Mello that comforted him...so if Mello was the one making him unsure, that had to mean logic wasn't involved...had to mean instinct and emotion should take precedence...right...?

Near kissed back, shy, still staring at Mello, though his eyelashes fluttered as he blinked rapidly. Mello was...shocked. He was kissing back. Near...Near liked him. And it _couldn't_ have been this one day. How long _had _he liked Mello? Dark blue eyes widened for a moment, and then closed as he gave in, raising his hand to place it on Near's cheek gently. If THIS was what L had intended...

He was suddenly struck with an overwhelming load of feelings, and they commanded him. So he obeyed, deepening the light kiss and licking Near's lip, asking for entrance.

L most likely considered the possibility. What was he playing at, matchmaker? No. L wasn't the puppeteer controlling them at the moment. Near closed his eyes, shivering slightly and opening his mouth on instinct, his breaths shaky. After years, _years_, of Mello hating him, picking on him, making his life a living hell, something was different, and Near wondered, very briefly, what he had done to deserve the change. Then again, he was too grateful to care.

The only thing going through Mello's mind was that Near was responding, like he wanted Mello to do this. Mello didn't deny that this younger soul was causing the loss of any control he had left. Mello's tongue brushed against Near's, cheeks dawning a slight blush as he pressed closer to his former rival, other arm snaking behind his back and holding him.

Numbly he wondered what set him off in the first place. Why had he initially hated Near? He certainly didn't right now. Near's white cheeks were tinted with pink, and he felt them burn as Mello deepened their kiss even further. For just a moment, he pulled his tongue back, still shy, but the older boy's arm around him was gentle, comforting. Another mild tremor ran through his frail body, and his tongue left its hiding place to play with Mello's, wet and unusual, but somehow feeling...good...

Near's lungs were crying, and very carefully, he brought an arm up to hug Mello closer, his slender limb wrapped around his companion, pulling him down, closer, because now he was almost _afraid _of having to let go...because he felt...safe...and good...

Mello's lungs, too, felt like they were on fire, but he stayed a little longer to wrestle tongues with Near, the very act sending small jolts down his spine. Near's mouth tasted unique, but in a good way. Eventually though, his lack of breath caused him to pull back, pressing his forehead against Near's as he panted, noting how terribly hot his skin felt. His heart throbbed against his ribs like a frightened animal in a cage.

"N-Near..."

And that's when the realization of what he was doing to the younger boy hit him. Ocean eyes filled to the brim with absolute shock and uncertainty...

He wanted to continue...but he didn't...

"M-Mer...n-no, Mello...are you...okay?"

Near's gaze was concerned. He was panting slightly, and his fist was still gripping Mello's shirt, but his eyes were on Mello's, and the hurt there made Near's chest ache.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"N-No. Do you...want me to continue, Near...?"

Honestly, Mello's body was now shaking from the internal conflict. If Near said yes, it was over. If Near said no...well, either way, it was going to be an emotion battle.

And he couldn't believe what he had just asked. Not for a second. It was the most extreme emotional switch on the scale. Enemies, to allies, to fuck-buddies? What world was he in?! And he was definitely feeling the need to continue... What he was feeling, had turned into need, lust.

Lust for Near.

Near could see the raging turmoil in Mello's eyes...there was a storm brewing, and the ocean was violent. He couldn't decipher the emotions, and his own quickened pulse certainly didn't help matters much. Balance mattered, and at the same time that Near hated being touched, and hated the thought of possibly doing something to anger Mello...

It had felt good, and he'd felt secure with his rival, no, his COMPANION, perhaps even his friend...he stared down at his hand for a moment, blinking thoughtfully.

"...do you want to?"

"..."

Mello couldn't speak the word he wanted to. He wanted to continue, but the aftermath...damn it. So many thoughts and fears, but...

"Yes. H-How do you do this, Near? How do you make me lust for you, when a day ago, I hated you?"

Mello's face contorted into an expression of utter inner turmoil, which relaxed into one of defeat. He was actually going to continue. He was actually going to do this.

Mello breathed a shuddering sigh and pressed his lips against Near's forehead.

"If you...want me to stop, then tell me..."

Although the effort itself most likely would have been futile...

Mello straddled Near's stomach, pressing his fingers against Near's sides in soothing circles. He was not going to be evil. Not like that man was with Hope. He was not going to force Near into anything. He was going to try to not hurt him. Mello pressed his lips against Near's and closed his eyes yet again, emotions possessing him entirely. Near made a muffled sound of consent against Mello's lips, and his eyes closed again. His body, too sensitive, shivered under the older boy's gentle touch, and while he tried to replay Mello's words in his mind, he found undecipherable emotions were clouding his logic, his judgment. The only words that remained in his conscious mind were "lust" and "hate," and...neither...made sense to him.

He snaked a hand into Mello's hair and twisted his fingers into the honey-gold locks, kissing back timidly.

It didn't have to make sense. It was Mello, after all. Mello continued to massage Near's side with one hand, while the other snaked up to his neck, tracing practiced fingers down Near's throat, again with the same gentleness that had perched upon him. It was a walking contradiction. He could be utterly destructive and ferocious, and then totally and utterly gentle. And it was all from the same source, that terrible Eye...

He was gentle because he knew how it felt when someone was rough. He'd seen how it ended up.

Mello slipped his hand under Near's collar, rubbing the base of his collarbone with a soothing circular motion, not yet moving the other hand from Near's side. The boy's shivering was adding to his growing want, an ever pounding longing echoing in his clouded mind. Mello's tongue played with Near's, twisting and curling in wet but pleasing shapes, enjoying his taste more than he probably should have.

Near's trembling only grew, a result of his heightened emotions and his irrational fear...the fact that his intense hatred of being touched was overcome by his desire to continue his actions with Mello was simply ridiculous to comprehend. His tongue danced with Mello's, and with it, a wonderful sensation that made a small noise rise into Near's throat. Mello's hands were so gentle...and he felt so safe, so SAFE, with his rival, that it was almost as if all of his logic had simply died, then and there...

Mello turned his head slightly and relinquished Near's lips, pressing a soft but fiery kiss onto the side of Near's mouth. A shivering palm caressed the skin under Near's collar, pausing a moment to unlatch the top button of Near's shirt. He gently took care in the new skin that was revealed, tracing light fingers over Near's practically emaciated form. Finally he moved the hand that was previously occupied with Near's side to join the other one in unclipping buttons. He was slow as to not alarm Near. Rushing things was not a good way of doing this.

He was fully aware of what he was doing, and he was now focusing entirely on not hurting Near at all. Although his body demanded he hurry and satisfy his desires, he was not like that man, that man that stole Hope away. That man that destroyed all of them...

He was not a rapist...

Near simply stared down, watching Mello's actions with wide, glassy eyes, his small hand still tangled into Mello's hair, stroking the locks gently. He sensed Mello's inner conflict, but said nothing, did nothing; he just waited.

Wait, and tried to calm the emotions boiling within himself...for he'd surely break otherwise...

Mello stroked every inch of Near's pale skin as he worked his wait down the several buttons, finding it extremely difficult not to just ruthlessly murder him in bite marks. His skin was so pale and flawless, and Near was so fragile. He'd have to be careful not to break this little boy. The shirt finally hung open at his hands, and Mello drew back a moment, trailing his fingers teasingly over Near's ribs, lowering his face to lick the bones visible beneath the skin carefully, tracing every single indentation.

Near bit his lip softly, tense at the touch, and removed his hand from Mello's hair; he trailed it over his shoulder lightly before dropping it, still shivering, still confused...and still thrilled, though only god knew why.

His skin was too sensitive, and Mello's touch was too light...Near's breaths quickened with his pulse, his eyes bright. Mello allowed his hands to roam Near's chest, while he rose back up to the pale neck, gently nibbling on the boy's collarbone, increasing the pressure on his motions, not enough to cause pain, but enough to extract reactions out. It was almost too slow for his liking, so he increased his pace slightly, trailing a line of soft bites around Near's neck and hands traveling to the boy's hips, pressing into them slightly. Control hadn't been an issue for Near, until Mello touched his hips, and at that point, he let out an involuntary whimper.

Mello hoped to God Near realized what was going on by now, and the fact that he would be hurt in the process. Near sighed softly. Everything that was happening, pain or pleasure, felt good...he'd never studied this, never really learned it, but he knew what was happening, what was to come, and with that knowledge came a rush of adrenaline that made his breaths quicken further.

Mello's desire for the boy was growing, for his skin tasted so pure and clean. The pit of lust was being fueled, and it felt as if he were suffocating in his clothes.

How much did he really want Near? How much did Near want him?

Near was...hot. He wriggled his arms free of his sleeves, and his shirt fell softly to the ground behind him...he...didn't suppose he'd be needing it. Mello watched, aware that his own shirt felt like it was choking him, burning his very skin. Following Near's example, he slipped it off, not losing much time at all, replacing his hands where they were as his lips found Near's again. The hands snuck under the waistband, finding the boy's hip bone and curling skilled fingers around it, moving pressured circles with the tips of his fingers over the soft skin, the circles traveling lower down his legs, turning to more pressured teasings as they moved.

The entire process was painfully slow for the amount of lust building up in his chest. His heart was in unnaturally high palpitations, cheeks flushed with the actions and reactions he was experiencing. He broke the kiss to let out a soft moan, eyes half-lidded and lashes brushing against Near's cheek.

"Nia..."

Near whimpered again, white cheeks painted pink, his eyes wide even though the light burned him. His legs twitched at Mello's gentle caresses, and he locked his gaze onto Mello's, greedily drinking in the sight of his eyes, dark and full of emotions Near could barely begin to comprehend...Mello's lips were right there, and shyly, so shyly, Near tilted his head forward to press his own lips against Mello's; he'd stopped shivering, but the way his heart fluttered in his chest made him feel as though the walls were echoing around him. He applied more pressure to Mello's lips, and a quiet moan escaped from his throat, startling him.

Mello kissed him back, pinning the smaller boy's head back to the soft carpet and licking the his tongue. The moan sent a jolt down his spine, and the desire spiked. He couldn't do this forever.

Reluctantly he broke the kiss, tugging at the waistband of Near's pants as his hands continued to go lower, eventually reaching the beginning of his thighs and trailing the insides of them, all the while in the effort to get Near's white pants off, which he had easily brought to the boy's knee's. Mello replaced his hands, with small nips from his teeth on the inside of Near's thigh, his hands running back up to the rim of Near's boxers to tease his hips a bit more forcefully, eventually ghosting touches across Near's pelvis.

Near had to bite his index finger to keep from whimpering again. He closed his right eye and watched Mello, his body trembling, his legs occasionally twitching involuntarily. If anything, Mello was being too gentle...but it felt...too good. FAR too good.

"Ah...Mero..."

He couldn't be bothered to be articulate. His own breathing was betraying him, and his heart was pounding so forcefully that it seemed to be threatening to abandon him, to leap from his chest and run away...Near sighed shakily.

Mello trailed his tongue up the underside of Near's thigh, finally placing his one hand teasingly upon his crotch, massaging the sensitive spot while he kicked off his own pants without much difficulty at all. He tangled his bare legs with Near's, shuddering at the skin to skin contact white still continuing his ministrations. The other hand had found a calling sliding up Near's side to his shoulder. The blonde bent over the boy's chest, hair tickling the thin ribs. He brought his mouth down to the muddle of Near's chest and trailed a stream of butterfly kisses down his waist.

Near arched, his frail body tense to the point of snapping, and cried out weakly. He hated being touched, but this was...bliss...Mello...

"M-Mero..."

There was no logic to describe it. His entire body felt as though it had been jolted with electricity, and his fingertips twitched, as did his legs...it was all too much. He closed his eyes, his chest rising and falling rapidly with his heavy breathing.

Only two things mattered to his mind just then.

His body.

And Mello.

Mello's ears perked at his own name, the slurred version that Near had always said in times of severity. This was severely out of the ordinary for him, and therefore, he wouldn't be likely to withstand much teasing...

It was fine with Mello, but if he rushed, things could get ugly...

He wasn't entirely sure what to think of himself at the moment. He would definitely not give anyone this kind of attention, but Near was special...Near was...something. He didn't know what, but something that he couldn't describe.

Mello slipped his hand under Near's boxers, hooking his fingers and pulling the white article off while his tongue distracted Near greatly with tiny bites to his thin stomach, not enough to bruise but enough to be felt. Mello brushed Near's arousal with his fingertips, amused to know that Near was hard...for him.

How DID Near have this power over him, the power to turn his ferocity into the ridiculous gentleness that controlled his body at the moment? Near made it so that Mello's voice turned to a hoarse, needy whisper, his breathing coming out in pants of air...

How did Near seem so special, so set out...?

"Nia...how do you do this to me?I want you. So. Fucking. Much..."

The words made Near's lips twist into a tiny smile, and he gazed at Mello, his no-longer-secret eyes vast, crystal pools of emotion that he didn't know, but maybe, just maybe, Mello would. It was Mello. It was always Mello.

"Then take me," he whispered softly, and again, he didn't know why.

"As you wish...I have nothing...to make this easy on you, though..."

Mello heard the words coming out of his mouth and bit his lip. Those three words, on his tongue again, but this time for a different purpose...this time they were not wretched words of demons.

Mello lowered his head, licking Near's length slightly, tasting Near to the fullest extent possible. His hands came around to hold Near's hips firmly as he caressed his young counterpart's erection with his gentle tongue. Near was doing to get the full blown effect of it...

Right now Mello wasn't exactly sure if it was possible to want this little creature more, to crave his skin as much as he did...Near writhed under Mello's touch, still whimpering softly, a patch of twisted silver and white on the soft carpet. His fingers clenched at the fabric, and he tried to hold his breath to keep the sounds in, but he COULDN'T, because he was just panting so hard...a small, strangled cry escaped him, followed by a soft whisper of "Mero" that sounded foreign to pale ears...

It felt too good...how was it possible that Mello...that a fallen angel like Mello...could have been chosen, for...Near bit his lip sharply and gently brushed his fingertips over the mark on Mello's shoulder; his fingers became the only part of his body that weren't on fire, and he gasped and pulled his hand away as Mello continued.

Mello shuddered at the ghost touch, pulling his head up, dizzy with Near's sounds. The way he said his name...

It was nearing too much. Mello quickly removed his own boxers, crawling back up Near's small body, creating friction between their skin. Small droplets of sweat had formed on the surface of his skin, rubbing onto Near. He convulsed slightly as their arousals brushed together, diving for Near's lips and wrapping arms around his waist, using one leg to gently force Near's legs apart. This kiss was far, far more heated than the others, full of lust and something else. Was it the concern?

It hurt him that he was about to inflict this kind of pain on his white-haired counterpart. He only hoped that Near would anticipate it.

"I know," Near said breathlessly, breaking the kiss for only a moment to gaze affectionately into Mello's emotional eyes. "It's okay."

How the hell he'd managed to speak, especially so calmly, was beyond him. He snaked his arms around Mello's shoulders and pulled him close until their chests were touching, and kissed him, timid, but with more force than he had before. Mello...was asking for his trust. He knew it. And he had it. Near arched his body into Mello's, grinding their hips together and gasping softly at the pleasure that shot through him. Again, he whispered Mello's name...

Again, he mispronounced it...

"Nghh...ah, Nia..."

Mello slurred the ending of Near's name, just as Near mispronounced his. The blonde bowed his head, slipping away slightly to focus on the task at hand. He wanted to not hurt Near, but that was impossible. For now, he just wanted the pain to be bearable. Mello licked his fingers, coating them with a film of saliva and bringing them down to Near's entrance.

Near trusted him to do this...Near wanted Mello to do this. He showed attachment, affection, and it stabbed Mello's emotions into something different. It was still lust, but...longing, wanting, more than sheer need...

Near was so small. It would hurt, horribly, but he couldn't stop. They had come too far, and Near wouldn't want him to stop either way. Mello slid a slick finger into Near, distracting him with a firm grip to his side as he adjusted. Near winced, his uneven breaths stopping for a moment. He closed his eyes and relaxed, exhaling softly, trying hard to calm down, because they couldn't both be insane, could they? No, of course not. He would be calm for Mello...he had to be.

So his kissed him again.

Mello accepted Near's kiss as he added a second finger, slightly withdrawing the first, slowly driving them in and waiting for Near to adjust to the foreign feeling.

His mind was absolutely blown away by the fact that Near had let him go this far, being resilient to touch and accepting any form of it with open arms. Mello quivered at the sensation of being inside Near with only his fingers. He'd have to fight to keep his head and not fuck the poor boy until he bled out. Mello scissored the fingers carefully, stretching Near in preparation of what was to come, continuing to kiss him, licking his tongue eagerly and enjoying the taste still.

Near's soft whimpers were only a partial result of pain...he knew it, too, because his mind was buzzing, a dull drone that only called out "Mero, Mero, Mero," deep within his conscious mind...his tongue continued to dance with Mello's, his cheeks still painted pink, his open eyes practically sparkling, like stained glass who had shattered a beam of sunlight into a million pieces...

If Near hurt with only this. He would be in agony very soon. Mello added a third finger, continuing the careful movements. A sharp tremor ran through Near's body, and he inhaled sharply through his nose, clamping his eyes shut and wincing. It was unnatural. It didn't feel right. It wasn't logical...but after a moment, he relaxed again, letting Mello continue, for he had never felt so much before, so much trust...so much desire?

Mello's other hand continued massaging Near's side in an effort to keep him relaxed. He stared into Near's eyes, marveling at the lights behind those eyes. Who knew Near could feel this much?

Who knew Mello would do this? Not out of anger, either.

Mello drove his fingers deeper and, at the same time, deepened the kiss. Distractions weren't going to work in a minute and he knew it, but they would help for now.

He couldn't ignore the now throbbing desire within his chest; it was hard to focus at all. The heat drowned him as his eyes drank in Near's shimmering ones. He fought not to lose it. He fought the urge to slam his counterpart into the floor, and it showed on the surface of his eyes. He wasn't going to give in though. He wasn't going to break under the burning lust...

As Near kissed Mello, his eyes remained open, memorizing Mello's emotions when he opened his, and counting the lashes when they closed...they weren't done yet. They weren't close. But...Near, patient, calm, logical Near, wanted to be. He wanted to be close, to be closer to Mello than he'd ever been to anyone...and...that's why the words that next left his lips didn't startle him like they should have.

"M-Mero...please..."

Mello shivered. Near was not going to hold out against preparation. There was no choice. He couldn't deny Near's request.

He cautiously removed his fingers, bringing them instead to rest on Near's waist. He carefully parted Near's legs, situating himself carefully and gazing at the boy. His eyes screamed desire, but they also screamed silent apology. Mello panted softly, wrapping his arms around Near's middle and burying his face in the younger boy's chest, eventually moving to Near's neck, lips latched onto the collarbone. His hands ran along Near's sides in quiet apology, and he carefully pressed in, slowly enough as to not agonize Near, but quickly renough to cause friction. Mello moaned, clenching his eyes shut at the sensation that ripped through him.

Near forced himself to bite back a cry of agony, and he tossed his head back, breathing raggedly, small body trembling in pain. He felt as if he was being split in two, the pressure too much, the stretching far, far too much...

His eyes prickled with tears, so he closed them, afraid to let Mello see. He raised an unsteady hand and guiding it downwards, because all he wanted just then was to feel Mello and feel safe, because he was scared, because it hurt, but...Mello was right there against his chest...

Near's fingers rested on the coldness that was Mello's brand, and he didn't move them...it was still Mello, after all, and his body burned with fire otherwise...

Mello knew he'd hurt Near. It was all too obvious. Near was so tight, it was driving him insane...but he didn't give in, body shaking from the restraint. He held the position there, waiting for Near's consent before moving. He knew the pain Near was feeling; he'd tried to do whatever he could to prevent total agony, but it was inevitable.

"Ngh...Nia...h-hurts, d-doesn't it...? Tell me...when..."

He was amazed he could squeeze out that much of a sentence between the soft series of gasps. Mello massaged Near's sides more fervently, trying to quell the pain he knew was there.

"It...it's okay...I'm okay..."

Near wasn't. But he would be. That's all that mattered. His delicate fingers traced Mello's brand lightly, more as a distraction than anything, and he ached, but he knew, and thank the gods for this logic, that Mello wouldn't have been doing this if it wasn't going to feel good, at least for Mello...Near wanted to give him that much...

Mello deserved that much...

"Go...ahead."

Mello knew Near was lying, but he couldn't refuse he. He was relieved that the small boy seemed to be handling this somewhat well.

"It will...feel better. I promise..."

Mello slid slowly, the friction making him shudder with pleasure and press his lips to the pale neck. He held Near close, continuing to attempt a distraction with his hands, dancing lower to Near's thighs.

He wondered if Near sensed what he was trying to fight. He was fighting so hard against the urge to tear him apart, break him into pieces. It was lust that drove him, but his past that held him back. He wasn't going to hurt Near like he had been hurt.

Near snaked a thin, trembling arm up around Mello's neck, hugging him closer, burying his eyes into his neck, golden hair tickling his face...he could sense Mello's inner conflict, and it scared him, but he wasn't going to make Mello stop...he trusted him too much...

But at the same time, through his pain, he could feel Mello's aura darken with negative emotion. There was no rage in the older boy's touch, no anger in his breathing, but something was wrong.

"Mero..." Near whispered into his rival's shoulder. "What is...the matter?"

"Not...the time, Nia..."

Mello began to rock against Near's body, moaning softly as he gripped the smaller boy's body tightly. Near was trusting him still, and even as lust boiled in his blood, even as the urge to fuck him senseless burned his skin alive. Mello found it ridiculous that Near was concerned for him, when the albino was obviously in more pain then he was.

The past was seeming to ghost into reality, and now he disbanded it, he deserted it. The past didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was Near.

Mello sped his pace up, desire and want flooding his mind entirely. His hand trailed down Near's fevered body, finding the boy's erection and trailing his fingers over the length carefully.

Slowly, very slowly, Near's pain was fading. His breaths came in soft gasps and he whimpered, shivering at Mello's intimate touch. As Mello moved, more fire shot through Near's body, tearing him apart, but with it, an electricity that made his mind and throat vibrate in delight...he was afraid to open his eyes...between the fire and the electricity, he was sure to be blinded.

He crooned Mello's name softly, a ghostly whisper escaping ghostly lips, and his body arched to meet Mello's, two puzzle pieces fitting together exactly, away from Near's conscious mind. He purred softly, subconsciously digging his nails into Mello's back, his weak fingers trembling.

Mello's body was moving out of control, faster, mind utterly drawing a blank. He caressed Near's length with one hand, the other arm wrapped securely around his back, moving inside him in a quickly accelerating rate. He was gasping for air, moaning Near's name between every thrust.

"Ngh...Nia...ah..."

The fact that Near was liking this was overwhelming, and it drove him to move faster, creating the desired friction, such pleasurable friction.

Pleasure...

They were both feeling it...

Who knew...?

Near's hips were moving on their own, moving with Mello's as if both bodies were one, as if they were made to fit. Near clenched his hands into fists in order to keep his nails from Mello's flesh, and instead dug them into his own palms, his arms laced around Mello's neck, his eyelashes fluttering; he kissed Mello's throat gently, moaning as Mello brushed against somewhere deep inside of him...it felt good again, it felt so good.

His soft voice carried out the mantra of his rival's misspoken name, a quiet chant that didn't quite reach Near's ears because they were already so full of his own name, full of Mello's voice...

The electricity had almost completely replaced the fire.

Never in his lifetime had Mello felt so full of pleasurable sensations, and he was going to lose his mind. He lost track of his pace, vision utterly blurred, lungs screaming in protest against his uncontrollable gasps. His rival, his enemy, was no longer his rival, nor his enemy. He was just...something else.

Mello slammed into Near's sweet spot as his hands continued their unceasing movements, and Near's scream was strangled by his own failing will to stay silent. Both bodies, they were so perfect for each other. Every indentation had a place, like a two-piece puzzle finally complete. Night and Day were one.

And the feeling was ecstasy...

"Nia...Nia...can't...restrain much...longer..."

Near understood perfectly, for his own body was saying the exact same thing to his mind...it was all too much to bear, really, and Near finally opened his eyes, weak with pleasure, weak and safe and just...too much...

He knew what was soon to come from both of them...to come...yes. He didn't want to, but he had to, and that made a soft whine build in his throat, a sound that would likely have escalated into an embarrassing cry unless he forced his lips into silence. So he did, pressing feather-light kisses to Mello's neck and throat and shoulder, his eyes stinging, his body shaking and sweating and moving far too fast.

"Mero..."

Near didn't want to be Number One anymore...he'd let Mello have the pleasure...this time. Too much suffocating pleasure, and way too much constriction. Mello shuddered violently, tightening his hold on everything possible, squeezing their sweating bodies until there was no definition between the beginning of either. Mello trembled, slamming one last time into his rival before succumbing to the pressure, releasing his desires, seeing blinding light as his body arched into Near's even further.

"Ah! Nia! Don't...hate you, Nia..."

He drew out the name in a last moan, pleasure knives ripping his mind once filled with rage, to bloody shreds.

"I...ah, I know, M-Mero..."

Near finally gave up on his restraints, and he closed his eyes, seeing a light brighter than he'd ever been able to stand before, holding onto Mello like he couldn't let go...wouldn't. With a last shudder and a soft cry, he finally released, and his arms trembled weakly against Mello's back.

He was grateful Mello was holding him too. He feared he may have slipped away otherwise. His mind and heart and lungs all ached horribly from working so hard, and he exhaled shakily, lowering his head so that his weak eyes were pressed into Mello's soft neck. The puzzle had been solved.

Mello shuddered in post-orgasmic waves, raising his hand now covered in Near's release and bringing it to his lips, licking it away with a dazed expression on his face. He clung to Near as he withdrew, holding him yet, letting his other arm join in the embrace. Whatever the reason they did this, it felt too good to regret.

He fought to wrestle his pulse down to normal, his breathing actually stinging his lungs with the intensity. So the question was answered. Near trusted him with an undying loyalty, and liked him. And Mello...he was confused. Was it possible he liked Near?

At the moment, he was concerned for him, knowing the feel of being on the receiving end of this kind of act. Mello noted a bruise upon Near's neck and eyed it uneasily. His skin was way too weak...and it would be visible. So much for people not talking...

* * *

I dunno, if I was Linda I'd be too busy stifling a nosebleed to talk. ...wait, I am now. Oops.


	7. Black, White, and Red All Over

Sorry for the delay, guys. My old computer exploded and I had to retrieve the files. AGAIN. Also, I've been preoccupied with RPing with Akane and doing school stuff and…ugh. Also, looking up "Nulli Secundus" on my YouTube account (RayeWilliams, obviously) should unveil some nice tidbits. Enjoy.

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Nulli Secundus, Chapter 7 – Black, White, and Red All Over

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"Nia...did I hurt you too much? Are you bleeding?"

Near shook his head and rested it against Mello's chest, sighing, his body relaxed and still trembling slightly.

"I'm okay...you...were gentle."

He was bleeding, and he knew it, but it didn't bother him. He wondered if Mello had done this before...he'd been too concerned, too caring, too aware of what would hurt and what would feel good...Near bit his lip. He found himself almost hurt at the concept of Mello having done this with someone else...but it didn't really matter, did it? It had been him this time.

His heart was fluttering, and it took a great amount of effort for his breathing to even out. Mello was still so warm, and Near sighed, content, a dull pain between his legs...he figured it would hurt to walk for awhile, but it didn't matter now. He was soaked in sweat...and other liquids. He shivered in slight disgust, but nestled closer to Mello, grateful for the intimacy of his gentle touch.

"Gentle...thank you."

Mello knew exactly what Near was thinking and he sighed, not moving from their position although it was getting slightly uncomfortable. Mello shifted his weight and pulled away slightly.

"Haven't done this Near. S'been done to me, not so lightly, but I'm fine..."

He felt drained of hatred at the moment; every scrap of anger and rage was gone, but a silent confusion was left in its wake. It was hard for him and easy at the same time to swallow what he just did. Had he spent so long hating Near, thinking he hated Near? Did he hate Near? Did he like Near?

Mello swallowed the confusion to focus on the task at hand. The results of the act sat upon their skin and the floor. Numbly he wondered why he didn't move Near to the bed, although it was seriously not five feet from them...

Ah well, whatever.

"We should clean up..."

The words "I am fine" were a blatant lie, and Near knew it, even if Mello didn't. He didn't press the issue...he exhaled softly.

"Cleaning up...g-give me a little while, Me...llo. I don't think I can move just yet."

Near was exhausted, and he hurt. He was certain Mello had left marks on him, and while he didn't care, he found himself snickering slightly, still in a heightened state of emotion.

"Mello, if the current rumor is that you have AIDs..." He propped himself onto his elbows weakly, glancing at his companion. "Guess the next one will be that I do, as well."

He doubted this would all stay silent, but then again, most people at Wammy's doubted ANY of the rumors Linda or the other girls could spread. He hated being so filthy; his body wasn't used to it...his light body was supposed to remain light, and there were so many things on him right now that shouldn't have been...

His inner thighs were sticky. He hoped they were white and not pink. Hoped. It was a false hope. He knew it. Mello rolled his eyes. When did that rumor start again? Like...last week? He didn't even DO anything and all of a sudden, "Hey Mello, Is it true you have AIDS?" Uh...no...?

"I am actually curious as to what they are going to come up with. I'm guessing I'll be suspected, naturally, but fuck them. I don't give a damn at the moment. They accuse me of rape or anything I'll punch them through a window."

He smirked, imagining Linda's newest amazing story.

"So you are apparently a rape victim and I'm apparently rapist and apparently now we both have AIDS. Yeah, great. Linda's going to faint from joy with this one. I'm guessing if she suspects you of having AIDS she'd probably stay away from you for awhile."

He crossed his legs and blinked. Wow...it had hit him that he'd just had sex with his former rival. Enjoyed it, and it wasn't furious hate sex either.

He felt suddenly tired with that realization, although they both had some form of sleep, he was quite tired from exertion. He knew the exhaustion would pass; it didn't matter much if he was tired today, no one looked for anyone on a Sunday, too busy with relaxing before classes tomorrow to do so.

"Linda. She is an idiot. Her crush on me is...amusing, and the fact that I think so would make me feel guilty if she were a person worth feeling guilt over."

Near was gazing at the ceiling now, his eyes glassy and blank, glazed over with only the shadows of emotions felt moments ago. Linda could go get adopted, for all he cared. There were very few people in Wammy's House who he liked, or disliked, but Linda was likely the one he felt the most dislike towards. He blinked, and the thought vanished.

"If they accuse you of rape," Near continued mildly, "and they do not have the common courtesy to come to me about it, then disregard them. We are both underage. We are both victims. It is quite possible that I was the one to rape you just now."

"Since when did age ever matter to people? I guess this will just be between you and me and this place then. And trust me, you are no more a rapist than I am a girl, and I do NOT think we have any doubts about that any longer."

Mello laughed lightly and brushed the mark upon his shoulder. Near's touch had actually made some parts of the mark warm, to his amusement. Mello gazed at the boy, analyzing the damage he had done, pleased to know it wasn't too bad, and he had not hurt him that much. The bruise upon the is neck was a bit startling, standing out quite a lot. Oh, he was going to get questions about that.

Near could already feel the pain subsiding, but didn't move. He wondered if Mello's mark was hurting him...if it always hurt him. Even during their prior actions, the mark had remained cold, a shocking difference between that and the heat of the rest of his body.

His mind...was on Mello. Nothing more...and certainly nothing less.

"I am supposing it'll be difficult for you to walk, much less crawl through tunnels just yet, but it'll feel better in a few hours," Mello said calmly.

Mello was thinking to himself at the moment, right now not bothering to question why it had happened, but more rather focused on a muddle of other things.

"I never thought you were a girl, Mello," Near sighed, content. "Just cute like one."

His lips twitched.

Mello blinked. Did Near just say he was...well, this day couldn't have started off any more out of the ordinary if it tried to. For some reason, Mello felt disgusted and flattered at the same time.

"What, am I just THAT ugly staying a male that everyone feels the need to call me 'Miss?'" He rolled his eyes and stood up, shamelessly stretching and walking over to his rival, extending a hand to him. "Come on, you're a mess. The shower will feel good anyway."

Near knew better than to snicker, so he merely smiled, his eyes flickering, vague shadows of amusement and affection dancing over the ethereal irises. He accepted Mello's hand and stood, unsteadily...too unsteady!

His eyes snapped open and his smile vanished in a moment; pain shot down his legs and he stumbled, graceless. He managed not to fall, though the reason for this salvation made him blush fiercely. His forehead was pressed lightly into Mello's arm, his pale hands wrapped around the slender limb for support. He wanted to apologize, but...his voice didn't seem to be working just then...

A flicker of memory crossed Mello's eyes and an arm steadied Near by the shoulder.

"Careful, there." He should've been a better judge of the magnitude of the pain, and that fact made him feel guilty. "Can you walk at all?"

Near's cheeks burned; he didn't look up to meet Mello's eyes, and he simply nodded.

"I think so...if I can hold on. Do you mind?"

"It's fine."

Near suddenly felt a pang of regret...he felt selfish...because he was grateful. He was grateful that Mello had been branded, that all of those horrific things had happened, that the boy had grown up with torments known only to fallen angels...

And he was GRATEFUL for Mello's suffering, if this was the result...

He buried his face in Mello's arm and inhaled, his body shaking with a silent sob...years and years of well-trained apathy kept his eyes dry, but he closed them anyway.

Mello stared at Near for a moment, sensing the change in him, that shaking not of embarrassment or the aftereffects. Why was he shaking? It worried him...Mello turned suddenly, bending over and hooking his arm under Near's legs, wrapping the other one around his back. He picked him up easily, marveling at the lightness of the boy in his arms. He held Near close, carrying him to the bathroom and setting the boy without trouble in the tub; he crossed his arms and analyzed him under a heated gaze.

"What's wrong? And don't lie to me..."

Near shivered, the sudden lack of Mello's body heat a cold slap to the face. He bit his lip and chewed, raising a small finger into his hair and tugging at it, harder than usual, perhaps as a form of punishment toward himself.

"I just feel guilty," he said, his voice calm despite his darkened emotional state. "I feel...almost happy you turned out...this way. Not happy you suffered, but...I can only wonder if you would still have hated me up until this point, if not for..."

His eyes finished his sentence for him as they traveled up to Mello's shoulder. His fingers yanked harder. Mello's gaze softened at the boy's words, sitting down and crossing his legs.

"It wasn't your fault, and it is perfectly fine to feel this way. I am glad that I turned out this way too. If I hadn't, that...that would have probably hurt a hell of a lot more, and it wouldn't have felt good at all. I'm furious and grateful at those people. I suppose that which doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. Really, I'm not mad at you. I'm just mad at those people."

He twisted the knob and plugged the drain, beginning to fill the tub with hot water for a bath.

"Don't worry about it. It's over and done with. Stay here and wash up, and don't leave until the pain subsides some more alright? I'll get in after you're done."

Mello stood up and closed the door, walking out to the pile of his clothes and dressing easily. He smelled of sex, but few people would ever be able to identify that scent here. Mello withdrew the map from his pocket and nodded to himself quietly, a determined light in his eyes.

Alone, Near sighed softly, sinking into the tub until he could feel his hair floating around him. He was grateful, again, but now he was grateful for Mello...not what had happened to him, but for Mello.

He felt a cold fury grip his heart...anyone who could possibly have hurt Mello was not good, and Near was slightly surprised at the low growl that escaped his throat at the thought of it...

The water took away the filth clinging to his body without him having to do much of anything, but he sat up to wash himself anyway. When he moved to clean between his legs, he sighed in defeat; there was red in the water. He hoped Mello hadn't noticed...the thought of hurting Near had seemed to bother him, and Near knew he had enough on his mind.

When he drained the tub, he lazily cleaned it of some of the red before finally getting out...climbing out. He sat on the floor and pulled a towel from the rack to dry himself, rubbing the water from his hair and sighing again. Walking wasn't going to be easy without Mello, but he didn't have the emotional strength to call him back in. He blushed lightly at the mere thought. He climbed up the side of the dresser to grab clothes, and when he discarded the towel onto the floor to get dressed into the pure white pajamas, he didn't notice the pink stains on the towel.

When dressed, he sat beside the tub, and continued to scrub away the red.

(NS)

From a passageway in the hallway was where Mello's adventure began.

Surprisingly, it took only a few minutes to find every turn, every crawlspace, and within those minutes he was weirdly crawling out of the air vent into the cafeteria. He didn't care if Near wasn't hungry; he was going to grab him something anyway. A paper bag sat idly on the counter and Mello snatched the lunch bag, snagging an apple from another part of the counter and slipping it in, grabbing a muffin for himself and looking at the map.

It was easier to sneak in daytime than at night; you just had to look like you belonged there. Mello nonchalantly walked out of the kitchen, walking out of the cafeteria and nonchalantly down the hallway, passing the common room and noting the dominoes STILL on the floor. Mello made a noise and walked in, putting a face on like he was stealing the game instead of taking it for Near. No one really bothered to look at him as he slipped the box in the paper bag, running to his room next and grabbing a bar of chocolate from his drawer.

Mello slipped outside his door and down the hall to the coat closet, pushing the coats aside to reveal the vent he had seen on the map. Mello unlatched the grate and crawled in, pushing the coats back and re-latching the thing behind him. He immediately looked up. The trap door loomed above him and he slipped out his key, unlocking the hatch and climbing up into the much more spacious tunnels, careful to lock the door behind him.

The stone tunnels were lit from the vents below them, and they were big enough to walk through them. In no time at all, Mello had easily come to the sliding puzzle room, a disguised trapdoor as his exit. The blonde rushed back through the hall to the bedroom yet again, placing the bag of supplies on the desk and bending down to pick up Near's clothes, which were thankfully not dirty at all. The carpet left no evidence and the blanket had become lost to the side. Mello picked up everything, throwing the blanket onto the bed and setting Near's clothes aside. He felt like he was beginning to really consider this place part of his home, like...this place was his, his and Near's.

He was so surprised he made it back before Near had finished bathing.

(NS)

Panic was very slowly etching itself into Near's mind, and it reflected in his wide eyes, the same way the bloodstains did...he couldn't...get them off. And they hadn't been there long...what kind of material was this tub?

He whimpered softly, scrubbing, hoping...please, no, Mello didn't need to see this...

There were patches of blood forming on the bottom of his pants...

Mello probably should have knocked, but... he figured that neither of them had much to hide from one another now. And he walked in and turned, a moment paused to drink in the vision before him. His eyes widened and he walked over to the edge cautiously, eyeing the blood on the tub floor. Near froze and glanced back at him, and both pairs of eyes were abnormally wide. Mello's breathing turned ragged.

"I hurt you..."

The three words made Mello's heart violently jerk and he bent over the tub, prodding a bloodstain, an expression of fear etched in his eyes. And he was there again. The gray room...

_'Hope, are you okay?'_

_**'Yeah, just some scratches...'**_

_'But...'_

_**'Don't worry about me...'**_

Mello blinked rapidly to rid the memory from his mind and he swung his head to meet Near's gaze. He was still bleeding...

"Near..."

His throat felt constricted, choked. He stared at Near.

"Are you okay...? Sorry...s-sorry...Near..."

Near's heart ached horribly as he read the pain in Mello's eyes; very gently, he brought up a bloody hand and touched Mello's cheek, stroking his face soothingly, as Mello had comforted him.

"I am not in pain," Near said quietly. "I hadn't wanted you to see it because I knew you would assume I was. I'm not."

He really wasn't. His normally blank stare was concerned for Mello...and this was why he had tried so hard to clean the blood. Mello bit his lip. He was trying his hardest to tell himself it was okay, but it was not working. He focused, not on the blood in the tub, but instead on the blank wall, in a trance almost.

"You shouldn't move for awhile..."

He was remembering, silently, his breathing calming down but his eyes still wide. Mello closed them tightly and brought his forehead against the edge of the tub. He needed to calm down. It was just a bit of blood, calm down Mello...calm down...he inhaled deeply and let out a shuddering sigh.

"You sure you are alright...?"

On instinct, Near moved forward and wrapped an arm around Mello's shoulders, resting his forehead against him and staring down at the towel on the ground...bloodstained, like the tub.

"I'm sure I am. Not sure you are."

He squeezed lightly in a gentle hug, sighing. He wasn't in pain unless he tried to walk, and he didn't walk much anyway. He knew...at least, he thought he knew...what was really bothering Mello, and his eyes blinked back the tears that built...once again, he was in the dark. He didn't know.

He didn't know...if Mello was upset about Near's pain...or the blood that had been spilt.

Near pulled Mello closer.

Mello closed his eyes in the embrace, fragile mind seeking this kind of solace. He paused a few moments, regaining all of his composure before raising his head, shooting a warm smile to Near and standing up.

"I'll be fine. You should change your clothes, though. They're bloody. When you're done, come out. I have something for you..."

Mello's discomfort was obvious, but he hid it as well as Near, seriously, the albino would be proud of how easily he shoved the emotions back into his mind. He turned to leave and closed the door behind him.

Near glanced down and sighed softly at his pants; they were going to be stained. He was surely still bleeding...he needn't waste another pair. He got up and left the bathroom, limping slightly, and his gaze latched onto Mello and the map he was staring at.

"You must have memorized it by now," Near said softly. "You have not taken your eyes off of it for very long."

Mello looked up and nodded affirmatively. He truthfully had memorized the entire map, every location. He looked at the paper bag beside him and pushed it towards Near.

"Yeah. Ah, here..."

Mello seemed distracted, but it would ebb off eventually as he distracted himself with other things. He reached into the bag and his hands gripped the edge of his sweet addiction...he pulled it out and unwrapped it, placing his lips on the edge and focusing on the chocolate. This sugary treat was like some drug in his system, shooting up to get the high and forget his problems. Mello's eyes sparked contentedly as he sucked on the edge, not feeling like devouring this bar so quickly.

"We should probably go downstairs later to get a few things like flashlights and such."

Near took the box from the bag and simply stared for a moment, shocked at the thoughtfulness...dominoes and games hadn't been on his mind, but now that he had them, he realized with a pang how hard it would have been for him to try to last without them. He smiled at Mello.

"Thank you. But yes, you're right. Perhaps other things, too...real food...more of that." He nodded towards the chocolate bar. "Perhaps more blankets and clothes. I need to get more chemicals for my lenses...I didn't see any in the bathroom. Perhaps we might need a first aid kit as well."

He bit his lip suddenly, averting his gaze. He hoped it hadn't sounded like he was implying anything. Mello still seemed very off, and he didn't like that.

"Mello...I'm alright. Don't worry about me."

Mello eyed him, licking the chocolate bar thoughtfully and nodding at his list of objects. He could easily have grabbed those in a flash with one trip, but Near already had trouble walking.

"I'll go get the stuff that I can, but I can't go in your room in broad daylight. Linda is stalking that hall. I think she's looking for you, which is a problem. I assume you should make an appearance today. I do have some things I have to get myself, and we need to take the dirty clothes to go wash them. I'll do that, just shove them in the bag and take everything out of it. I can get my hands on a mini-fridge for food. I'll leave in a bit. I'll bring back whatever I can fit in the bag."

He licked the chocolate and folded up the map.

"Maybe a beanbag would be nice, and a radio..."

It sounded...seriously, like they were going to live here. On weekends and off-days, this place would be where they would stay if they chose to.

"You stay here and play, I'll get what I can."

Near nodded solemnly, still unsmiling.

"Alright, Mello. Thank you."

He sat on his legs, uncomfortable, but unable to sit in his preferred way, and began lining the dominoes. In reality, he didn't want to be left alone; the Loft frightened him somewhat, and he'd much rather have had Mello by his side...

It was the disregard he felt for his own privacy that truly spooked him. Reclusive, anti-social Near, with a roommate...and Mello, no less...he was unsure as to when they'd be at Wammy's and when they'd be at the Loft. He was even more unsure of L's intentions...what exactly was it they were supposed to be doing up here?

Mello emptied the paper bag, setting the food on the desk for Near and turning away, walking towards the hallway and stopping at the threshold of the door. He ate the rest of his chocolate and stuffed the foil in his pocket.

"I'll be right back."

He turned to the first torch on the right and bent down, pressing his palm against a false stone and standing up as a piece of the wall receded, the tunnel to Wammy's open. Without hesitation, Mello ran into the darkness, the stone slipping back into place on its own.

He didn't have to be Near to see pretty well in the dim light as he made his way through the long tunnel network, eventually coming to the vent exit leading to the corner of the common room. He unlocked the trapdoor and slid in carefully, peering out of the grate to make sure no one was there. Good. It was lunchtime, and not a soul was seen. Mello unlatched the vent and crawled out, latching it back and standing up. What did they need...?

He took a stop at his room first to pick up a spare pair of clothing and the flashlight. As for the first aid kit, there was always a few in the lavatories. He went there next, nicking the kit away without any trouble and putting it into the bag. He went to the washroom to pick up some blankets, going next to the supply room and grabbing batteries. The bag was full and slightly heavy, and the tunnel entrance was luckily in the supply room. Mello repeated the process of unlatching the vent and reopening the door to the tunnels with his key, running back without a sound, coming out again in the puzzle room. It had been a good hour that he was running around everywhere, and calmly he walked back down the hallway, stopping at the threshold and rolling his eyes.

"Neaaaaar. I'm hooooome."

The heavy sarcasm here was good to hear after the incident earlier as Mello walked in, placing the bag on the desk.

Near looked up from his place in the center of a circle of dominoes. He'd taken great care to place them black side up, and was sitting contentedly in his little trap. Across from him was a circle surrounded entirely by dominoes white-side up; he was amused by the empty circle.

"Welcome home. Could you please sit in that for a moment? And please don't knock any over. I want to see something."

He was glad his rival had returned. He hoped his eyes could reflect that pleasure.

"Hm?"

Mello cocked his head and edged over to the other circle carefully, standing a minute than sitting in the circle, surrounded by white, facing Near. He was confused and curious as to what exactly Near was doing, but he would find out anyways in a minute no doubt.

"What am I supposed to do? Just sit here?"

"Yes, that's it."

He flicked a domino; within a few seconds, the carpet vanished beneath him, the dominoes completely surrounding him in black, and he sat as solid white amongst them. Slowly, the dominoes traveled toward Mello, and the giant circle, half-complete, flipped colors, eating away at the space around Mello, a white tear-drop surrounding black. They continued to fall, working inward, until the two sets of collided, white against black, fitting together perfectly; Near's white clothing stood out in stark contrast to the black porcelain around him, as Mello's dark clothing did to the white drop. Together, they sat, two circles inside of a larger one, balancing each other out, different parts of a set, but both sets part of the circle. Near smiled.

"I like it when none of them go astray."

Mello blinked at the display. Was Near saying something without words? Or was this just a form of amusement for him. Mello decided against asking, wondering how in the hell Near had the patience to set up every single domino in the giant yin yang...

"Black and white, huh? How did you have the patience to set all this up? Or were you just bored? I take it that you understand L's intentions then. He's trying to get us to work together on things in the most weird way. I'm assuming we'll need this room now that we have it, but I don't know why..."

He chuckled and stood up, gazing at the circle with a glint in his eye.

Near gazed up at Mello. "We are supposed to work together, from rivals, to partners. The only question I have is, what is it that we're working on? An assignment?"

He shook his head, bemused, and began to clean up his mess. He felt sticky again...he flushed and shifted to sit on his legs, hoping Mello didn't notice the small movement.

"It's your turn to shower. Go on while I clean up. Then show me what you brought, okay?"

Mello eyed Near carefully. He was very acute when it came to watching people's reactions, and Near wasn't the one who trained his eyes. No, it was long before they even met that his eyes were trained for any reactions, be it pain, pleasure, anything.

"Are you still bleeding?"

The question held a "don't lie to me 'cause I'll find out anyway" tone. It was a warning, plain and clear, but the purpose was because of concern. He was going to wait for Near's response before stalking off to the shower.

Near stopped cleaning up the mess of dominoes to entwine a finger into a lock of white hair.

"...probably."

Nah, there was nothing probable about it. He could feel it, could smell it, and briefly flashed to how rude he had been to Linda a few months ago, when she was complaining of cramps during her monthly...Near suddenly found himself with a new respect for women. The sticky feeling wasn't going away, and as it built, so did the pain. That was something he hated...the last thing he needed was for Mello to see him in pain. Near repeated himself.

"It's nothing. Please don't worry about me."

Mello shook his head, a shadow falling over his eyes. He couldn't help but feel guilty. He wanted to discard pain, not resurrect and inflict it. He wasn't one of them.

But he was beginning to fear his lack of self control.

Mello said nothing, walking into the bathroom and closing the door. He quickly stripped off his clothes and chucked them into the hamper, starting the shower and stepping in. He sat a minute later, legs crossed, hand massaging his temples as he stared at the bloodstain that was still there. Finally, he closed his eyes to block out the sight.

_**'What's your real name?'**_

_'Mihael.'_

_**'Mihael...why do they take Hope away? She always looks so...hurt. They always Shock her.'**_

_'I don't know. The bad guy does something to her.'_

_**'I'm scared...'**_

_'Not me. I'm just scared for Hope.'_

_**'They took Love away last night too...'**_

Mello's mind was in a mess because of that one bloodstain, because he did what that man did. He tried to be careful...but...

Balled fists attached themselves to his head and a stab of rage flooded him.

'_Get away from Hope!'_

_**'Courage, NO!'**_

_'AHHHHHH!'_

The scream echoed through his mind and he blinked rapidly, not realizing he was actually shaking. That was the worst Shocking of his life...and then while he was weak...

Stop! WAKE UP, MELLO WAKE UP!

Mello shook his head violently, sending small droplets of water everywhere. He wordlessly grabbed the shampoo, eyes put into a coma of sorts, a dead wall to block out the memories.

(NS)

Near sighed softly as he dropped the last domino into the box. His mind was buzzing, aching, flashing...he was getting a migraine. His eyes burned. Too many emotions, too much to take in, and he was so exhausted...

He flopped onto the carpet gracelessly, on his side, his eyes blank. It was his fault. He knew it. Whatever he felt physically didn't matter; something was wrong with Mello, and he kept triggering it...he wondered how long he'd been doing that...

Wondered how long it would be before Mello hated him again.

The pain between his legs was starting to really become bothersome...and he wouldn't stop bleeding.

"...I'm sorry, Mello..."

-

So much angst. ;; Anyway. Review plz. :3


	8. Maleficum

Blahblahblah. I really just wanted to get this one out there. The people who stalk my LJ have seen it already. Gods...I forgot how goddamned BORING some of these chapters were. ...no, not this one. -wink-

But enough about Mello, how 'bout delving into Near's past for once, huh?!

-

Nulli Secundus, Chapter 8 - Maleficum

-

Mello washed, and rinsed, and _stared_, then scrubbed the stain away, turning the water off.

His mind hurt, and for once, he wished he could just stop thinking. Why was he even dwelling on the past?! He'd put it behind him. It didn't matter. Not anymore.

He repeated the words in his head over and over. He'd tried to be as gentle with Near as possible, but the poor kid was so small and frail. Ugh...he should have known better. He let his emotions take control of his body...and look at what had happened! It was only minor bleeding now...but...what if one time...

Gods...he'd been corrupted.

Mello raised his fingers to the mark and dug his nails into the freezing skin. Why did they corrupt him? Why did they curse him? He was influenced, and if his emotions took control again, what would he be capable of? If hatred...hatred...

Mello coughed at the realization and grabbed a towel, drying off as the water rolled down his skin.

No. He had to fight. He had to destroy his past, his corruption. He was Courage; he couldn't be afraid! Mello's face twitched into a determined stare. He was not going to let his emotions do that, ever.

The blonde quietly put on some clothes, opening the door and shaking all thoughts from his head while he hung the towel to dry. The past was the past. He had to live in the present. Mello cleared his throat, accommodating a neutral tone to his voice.

"You wanted to know what I got, right?"

Near flinched sharply, not expecting the voice...Mello had been too quiet. Or...perhaps he'd dozed off. Near looked up to meet his eyes, and the split second of fear that had flickered there vanished, quenched by the cerulean gaze upon him.

"Yes, Mello," he whispered, and he sat up again. His eyes were glazed with indifference. Once again, Mello's aura put him at ease...maybe...he wasn't mad.

Mello brought the bag over to where Near was sitting, knowing full well Near wasn't going to make the effort to walk. He plopped the bag down and sat across from him, dumping the contents onto the floor.

"Three blankets, four packs of batteries for the flashlight, the first aid kit you wanted, a spare pair of my clothes...the kit took up a lot of room, and I couldn't go to your room so..."

He pulled something from behind his back as if by magic, presenting Near with a worn little plush rabbit, gray with small button eyes.

"I, er...nicked this from you awhile ago. I've had it in my room."

"Maleficum..."

As if the sudden rush of emotions hit him in a way that actually injured him, Near flinched, and his eyes seemed to snap with the way his emotions vanished. Very, very suddenly, his eyes were voids, his dilated pupils seeming more like cold, endless tunnels, his mouth closed and unsmiling. His breaths were even, and his pain...had all but subsided.

"Thank you," he said quietly. "I'd forgotten about hi...it. How...long ago did you take it?"

He extended a hand for it, and in that moment, he didn't see his own pale skin, but a shadow, a much smaller hand, dripping with dark liquid, liquid that pooled on the floor, and if he looked down he was sure he'd see it, sure he'd see a small, dark-eyed boy staring up at him emotionlessly from the reflection, face soaked in blood, white hair dripping...

He could smell it. He wondered if Mello could, too.

"Near," Mello said quietly, his voice snapping Near from his trance. The albino glanced up lethargically. "Tell me what you see."

Mello knew that god-damned look, for he, too, wore it. He tightened his hold on the small rabbit, intent not to let go until the boy told him what he saw. If Mello had seen something while around Near, if Near had asked, he would have told him...but Near didn't ask, therefore, he didn't.

Mello noticed how Near called the small toy "it" rather than a gender, although it had a name.

Near's voice was forcedly even.

"I see a woman," Near replied, staring back into the button eyes...the threads holding it to the rabbit's face used to be white...now they were red. Near wondered if Mello had seen. His eyes and tone remained apathetic. "I see a woman. I see a knife. I hear screaming, and cursing, crying...I see a light, so bright that my eyes burn. I hear a man calling for mercy on his son, then gagging as a woman slits his throat..."

He was trembling now, his eyes locked on the rabbit's, as though watching a movie...a horror movie...Mello's eyes narrowed.

"I hear him choke on his blood. I see the woman move towards me. I see tears and I have a sore throat because I can't stop screaming, and I f-feel her hand on my arm, and I smell D-Daddy's blood on her hands, and..."

His eyes flashed, tears forming even though there were no emotions there...maybe he'd just gone too long without blinking.

"I see a flash of silver, and feel her under me, and I feel my arm moving down, again, and again, forcing the knife into her throat, blood around m-my other hand..." He blinked and stared down at his left hand. "I...hear a voice crying "Mommy," and hear her screaming at me, same words as always, and I hear her screaming and I can't stop...M-Mero, I can't stop...couldn't stop...and I grabbed the rabbit she'd taken from my bedside, and took him with me when I left, because she wouldn't get up, and I didn't want to go alone...it was daylight, and I was...covered in it...and Daddy had my lenses but I didn't want to go near him because his eyes were open and blank, and he was still crying, and there was blood all over him, and h-his hand was still reaching for mine because I couldn't...stop...screaming..."

He stopped then, snapping his gaze away from Mello so quickly that his hair whipped his face, tears prickling in his eyes even though he wasn't showing emotion in those sad eyes; his ragged breaths were still even, and his trembling body was relaxed, and his calm hands were shaking so hard that he gripped at the carpet until his knuckles turned white.

Mello stared, his protective streak flooding his senses. Near was crying...crying. He couldn't stand it. He let go of the bunny, cautiously enveloping Near in a soft embrace. Near was too shaken to grow tense and pull away...he melted into Mello's warm aura, his comforting embrace, and wrapped his own arms tightly around him, burying his tear-streaked face into his companion's chest.

_(What world was this?)_

Near, the innocent one, was a murderer.

Mello, the violent one, was a victim.

Mello understood Near's agony. He definitely did, and he knew that even if Near hid it so well, it was there. All he could do was all Near could do. They could only provide bandages to wounds that may never heal.

"I see," Mello whispered, "a little boy. A lonely little boy...I see his pain. I see him, not the mask he puts up for the world. I don't hate this little boy. This little boy comforts me...and I have to try to comfort him..."

Mello closed his eyes and buried them into Near's shoulder, praying his action would be comforting.

_(Is the world our living Hell?)_

"I'm grateful Matt was the one up past hours when Mr. Watari brought me in that night," Near said softly. "He was so nice...Matt was so nice...if you'd seen me, I...don't know what could've passed through your mind...did we do something wrong when we were born, Mello? Or...does God just...not really love all children?"

"Near...I don't know...if God even watches us anymore. If he did...we wouldn't hurt so much." Near made a quiet noise that caused Mello to tighten his embrace and continue. "Even if God doesn't love you... At least you have the empathy of a virtue..."

He rubbed Near's back, his heart melting at the solemn words and the protectiveness running full throttle through his veins.

"I say, fuck God and creation," Mello said savagely. "We should watch over our own kin, not depend on a god...or a demon."

Near gripped the front of Mello's shirt and tilted his head so that his ear rested directly against the older boy's heartbeat. He was grateful, so grateful...

"I'll watch over you, Mello, if you watch over me..."

"I'll watch over you."

Mello held the boy in his arms for a long silent while, just basking in his presence as his protective aura commanded him to. He had no objection to following these orders, for Near needed consolation, and he had no one but Mello to turn to.

"The past is hard to forget with all the reminders around, but eventually, it will just be the past..."

He felt so morbid and sullen discussing this topic with the already-distressed boy.

"Are you tired, Near?"

"More exhausted than sleepy, but...I don't know."

Near _didn't_ know. He bit his lip.

"Um, Mello...I know you didn't want to hurt me when we, um..." Gods, now he knew why people used that idiotic phrase 'doing it.' How bothersome. "...why were you so concerned with it? I can understand wanting to not hurt me, but the blood, and...everything. Why were you so scared, Mello?"

"Because I bled out for four days. They Shocked me terribly and my body was so screwed up that I couldn't heal. When I was chosen in a fit of rage over Hope, and basically fucked until I saw red, I kept bleeding, and I eventually got really ill from blood loss. It's paranoia. I don't want to be like that man, but I'm worried if my emotions get the better of me..." Mello bit his lip and averted Near's eyes. Of course...Near was the one he'd hurt. "But I won't. I will fight like hell before that happens."

Near held onto Mello tighter.

"I trust you," he whispered softly. "I trust you completely. I...don't believe you would hurt me. And now, I know enough that even if you did, I wouldn't be able to be angry at you." His hands were shaking, his small fingers still curled around Mello's shirt; he didn't want to let go.

"Maybe we should take a nap," Mello suggested quietly. It was a good idea, and the 'we' in it signaled that Mello was tired. Too much in too little time.

"If you are tired, I think I could try sleeping. We're safe...I can't Shock you...and you won't kill me. We're safe."

"I think you should change into clean clothes. I can smell the blood. It should stop soon. Change, and then we can sleep. Okay?"

Mello sighed and relinquished Near reluctantly, feeling as though the boy couldn't make it to the bathroom, much less change his clothes. He eyed the bed next to them, grabbing the blankets he had spilled to the floor moments ago. They were soft and cream-colored, smelling clean and soothing.

Near didn't want to get up for two reasons. One was his dignity; the last thing he wanted at that moment was to fall down and have Mello witness it. He'd die. It would be too much.

But a more important second was that he was afraid of what the poor, tormented soul would think when he saw the stains of red on the bottom of Near's pants. He bit his lip and glanced toward the bathroom door...even crawling wouldn't work...he didn't want Mello to see...didn't want...

Tears were streaming down his cheeks again, and his inhaled softly, surprised, pressing a hand against his cold cheek and looking at his fingers as one might check to see if they were bleeding, though these tears were not red.

Mello turned around and closed his eyes, facing away so Near wouldn't have the humiliation. He knew what it felt like (Oh, he knew very well).

"Go on, I won't look."

_(Won't look at what I've done...)_

Near nodded, though he knew Mello couldn't see, and got up unsteadily, limping; he didn't bother to close the door. The bleeding had mostly stopped, and he stepped into the clean pants while still holding the badly stained ones.

"Mello...will it bother you if I soak these in the tub?"

"Go ahead, I know the drill. I'll take them down to the washroom later. Just throw them in the hamper."

Near ran the hot water over them for a little while to get the excess blood off; red reflected in albino eyes all too clearly as the liquid ran down to the drain, swirling around it...he plugged it and turned the water off, letting it soak, before leaving the bathroom and sitting down on the floor with a soft huff. Maleficum stared at him; he laid down and rolled over.

"Finished," he said unnecessarily.

Mello took one look at the boy and easily plucked him off of the floor and onto the bed, taking care not to hurt him.

"We already have AIDS, apparently, so why not just share everything else while we're at it?"

A small smile tugged at Mello's lips and he sat on the soft mattress. It was incredibly comfortable, as if its only purpose was to coax sleep, as was probably the case.

He supposed the Loft was a sanctuary, an escape from themselves, and he didn't mind it. It was only in this secret place that the truth seemed to just slip out, and comfort eased them both.

Near gazed up at Mello affectionately. If Mello was going to be honest and gentle, he could afford to drop the stone mask. Mello knew it was fake anyway.

"Maybe Linda will stop that rumor if you threaten to give her AIDS. You could definitely think of a way to work with that."

Near hadn't been tired, but now he was. The bed was incredibly soft, and he'd thought the carpet had been comfortable. He reached out and gently grasped Mello's sleeve.

"I don't care very much about that rumor. It doesn't change anything. Still, that would be freaking hilarious."

Mello had lain back, staring at the ceiling and marveling at how comfortable the thing was. He pulled Near closer to him, shifting to his side and curling around his rival, pulling a blanket over both of them.

"Sweet dreams..."

The bed was too comfortable, and Near was too warm, and he was too tired. All together, it put him to sleep in practically an instant, one arm tucked behind his head, the other holding Near close.

Near sighed softly, closing his eyes. Sleep. The concept was...almost terrifying to him, and always had been, the partial cause of his insomnia...even when his active mind was numb and screaming for sleep, he'd always feared the concept of closing his eyes and leaving his fragile body unguarded, weaker than weak...

But he felt safe. Safer than ever before. Mello's arm around him made him that way, and Mello's aura enveloped him until he was certain there was no force evil enough to shatter their protective circle, the protective embrace...

Near's thoughts faded, and he drifted into darkness...so warm...so soft...

_Mello..._

-

I actually didn't like this chapter. My Near's past is tender and really more fit for RP…anyway. Review please.


	9. Fear of Touch

AAAAAAH WHY DOES SCHOOL SUCK SO BAD?! Ah, well. Ads makes it easier. It goes without saying that Akane is a wonderful Mello to play with. And Kaze Kimizu, of course, because she just fucking rocks. xD I really didn't wanna post, but a very nice person commented on my NS tribute on YouTube and inspired me. :D Thank you, Eodaiya.

* * *

Nulli Secundus, Chapter 9 - Fear of Touch 

* * *

Mello had never really slept so well before. It was a comfortable, dreamless rest, no nightmare visions behind his closed eyelids or exams to wrench him worrying from sleep. It was the perfect nap.

He awoke many hours later, cracking his blue eyes open slightly to meet the sight of a sleeping Near. Again, he wondered what Near was to him, what he was to Near...

Were they rivals? Lovers?

No, not lovers, for Mello couldn't utter a word such as "love" to Near. Fuck buddies? No. The term didn't fit.

They were still rivals, who behind closed doors held each other close, kissed, were something between friends and a couple but not quite either.

They needed each other.

But outside of this place, they were secret keepers to their own twisted relationship.

Mello glanced at the clock, astonished to see the time reading as 5:50. They had been sleeping for the better part of the day! The blonde carefully sat up, gently shaking Near.

"Near. We have to get up. We need to grab the stuff and get it here before curfew."

They couldn't stay here tonight. There actually had classes tomorrow and had to sleep in their own rooms. Mello felt a stab of annoyance, for he wanted to explore the room to the fullest extent...and...

He didn't really want to leave Near...

Near's eyes opened, his lashes fluttering, the only dark thing about him. In a hazy state of mind he simply stared at Mello for a moment, and then spoke quietly.

"We can get it, but I have to wonder...Roger knows. And the reason we learn so much here is in hopes of succeeding L...so...wouldn't L himself giving us an assignment take precedence over the basics taught to everyone?"

He figured he may have sounded conceited, but the thought _had_ been eating away at him. He didn't want to go back to Wammy's, back to the rumors, and the rivalry.

"Yes. It would. I think we still have to juggle the usual classes. If we're to get an assignment, it'd make sense that he would set something up. Maybe he's planning something that we have to solve, like a mini-case. For now, we have to act inconspicuous and pretend like we never found the place. If Roger knows, L most likely gave him orders to try and deter us, the reason for the heightened security."

He was beginning to become suspicious of the insomniac detective. If L went to this much trouble with this place, there was no telling what he could possibly be planning.

"All these books must relate to what we're supposed to do."

Near sat up, sighing. "This is great. No, really, I'm thrilled. L's managed to turn us from normal students...okay, from students, to...whatever we are now..."

He rolled his eyes and got up, his limp less evident, the pain a dull throb. He barely noticed it, and he felt no blood. "I am not coherent right now, but I think you understand my meaning. And I assume you feel the same. So what next, Mello?"

"We have to get back downstairs and grab your things. Then we just have to stay down there, I guess. We can't come here on weekdays, but we don't have classes this Friday, so we can come then and stay for the weekend if we play our cards right. You better look at the map awhile to get the passages down so you can get back on your own. I'll leave it with you when we get down there. You feeling well enough to go now?"

He had walked over to the desk and dumped the stuff out of the bag, putting the flashlight and batteries in the top drawer and grabbing the kit, then walking into the bathroom and placing it in the cabinet. He grabbed a plastic bag from the cabinet and collected all the laundry, slinging it over his shoulder like a sack and grabbing the paper bag on his way out.

"You get this, and shove everything in it that you need. I'll take it up when I get the chance. Just bring it to me later."

Mello offered Near the brown bag, slipping out the map and tossing it into the paper thing. Near accepted it and obeyed, gathering his things, slightly depressed.

"I'm fine to go now. But it's a shame, all this. I kind of like this place...didn't before, but now I'm grateful for it. A lot of things have happened in...not very much time at all. I've always been relatively bored with what we learn at Wammy's, but this week is going to be...unbearable."

He glanced down at Maleficum, still lying on his side. Near bit his lip and grabbed him, putting him in the bag. No more bad memories, perhaps...Mello had brought him out of kindness, and that alone made Near smile as the grey fabric brushed his fingertips.

"I like it too. Ready."

Mello nodded and motioned for Near to follow, deciding that the common room passage would be best. He pressed his palm against the false stone and slipped into the tunnel entrance as the wall receded once again.

"Come on, let's go."

Mello took a glance behind him, eyes full of reluctance. He didn't want to leave this place any more than Near did.

"I wonder how long this has been here," Near murmured thoughtfully, close behind Mello. He paused for only a moment to grab the box from his pocket and open it, then press lenses into his eyes; he hissed audibly in discomfort, but continued. "It's not like it was built overnight. I wonder if L stayed here during his time at Wammy's."

That still didn't explain the fact that they had only managed to enter based on Mello's role as a virtue. Near's mind snapped back to the way his companion had screamed and fallen, clutching his shoulder, blood streaming down his arm...

Near reached out to grab Mello's sleeve gently, afraid to be separated.

Mello nodded at Near's words as he walked through the tunnel, allowing Near to grip his sleeve and feeling the guardian nature within him rear at the action.

"I think it was L's old hideaway, but he modified it for us, specifically so that only I would be able to get us in. I'm sure he keeps tabs on us, though he's far away. I have to hand it to him though, knowing you would come with me because of the exams was pretty well thought-out. He's very manipulative. Cunning."

He turned at the passage corner, back slightly sore from the small hunch he had to walk with to avoid hurting his head. Near loosened his grip, sighing.

"And he's never heard of a key? The puzzle was my part...and I didn't suffer from that. Why did he make you suffer, Mello, to get us in?"

The exams...he hadn't even seen the results, but didn't have to. Mello's anger was caused by a reoccurrence, and Near had learned to figure out the results of an exam simply by glancing at Mello's expression the day they were given out. Near was no longer testing himself; he tested Mello, for he knew neither of them was smarter than the other. They were both geniuses; they were both L's successors. Near was logic, and Mello was emotion, and they balanced each other out perfectly...

After all...rivals were still allies, striving for the same goal.

"I know it doesn't seem fair, but I suppose it was to reassure us that the Loft was ours, however sick it seems. I'm alright now, so it's no problem. I understand why he did it, and it was a mild Shock anyways. Honest."

Mello continued down the tunnels and took the left passage at fork in the road, the other one part of the way back through a certain hallway. "Near, be careful alright, that bruise is really noticeable. Avoid the people that usually pick on you. If you run, you'll tear yourself open."

Mello stopped at the end of the passage, bending down and slipping his key out of his pocket. He clicked the lock open and stared into the vent.

"Have you _ever_ seen me run, Mello?"

Near followed his gaze, silent and calm. He'd never had to run from his instigators before, but the knowledge that he couldn't if he needed to suddenly weighed heavily on his mind...he was always sitting...surely no one would notice if he limped a little.

"If they ask, where have we been?"

"I've been outside in the woods and you've been in the library in the corner most of the day."

Mello slipped into the vent and unlatched the grate, grateful no one was in there before dragging himself out, turning around and whispering a quick, "Good luck." He dashed off, heading first to the washroom to throw their clothes into the washing machines.

Near smiled at Mello's retreating back and headed down the hallway toward his room, controlling his limp as best he could. He nodded a silent greeting toward a teacher that passed him, and she smiled, almost knowingly, and winked.

"Linda was by your door, Nate," she whispered, and Near tensed visibly at the name, dark eyes wide. The teachers only called children by their real names on three occasions; during adoption, during detention, or when L was involved. The teacher continued. "I made her leave."

"Th-thank you," Near said quietly, and her smile grew. She left him at an idle pace, greeting a few more of the children she passed; Near suspected this was to avoid suspicion.

When he got to his room, the first thing he did was place Maleficum on his pillow. The grey stood out against the white, and so did the faded red patches. Near smiled faintly at him.

He put his dominoes away and regarded his selection of toys and games for a moment before reaching for a box of Legos. His hand brushed against a small, cardboard box and the smell of incense drifted down to meet his nose. He pushed away the Legos to grab the box instead.

As he left the room, he looked down at the cards and traced the bold lettering on the side of the box fondly: "Morgan-Greer Tarot."

He remembered when he stole it from a yard sale before Watari found him. It had been surrounded by candles and incense; it had called to him. The smell still lingered.

He headed back to the common room.

(NS)

Mello quickly asserted himself into a relatively normal routine, acting as usual and wandering the halls, a bar of chocolate in his hand. He passed Matt's room, sighing in annoyance. The redhead would be gone for the entire week, including weekends. He couldn't go play a game or talk to him like he usually did.

"Seeing the golden brat scream…"

Mello blinked. What was that? What did that kid say? Cerulean eyes threw a gaze at the retreating form of a few students heading in the direction of the common room. He definitely heard…

He growled and crushed the chocolate wrapper. Not on his watch. Mello shadowed the three as they entered the common room.

"Hey Near. How's it going?"

Warning tones. In the first two words...Near looked up from the four-point set-up at his name, subconsciously shifting his legs beneath him.

"Hello Alex. Vince. Simon. I am...alright."

He didn't question them back, glancing down at the cards in front of him. A light blush tinted his cheeks, and his stomach flipped warningly. These...were not boys he got along well with, by any means. Obviously, Mello had jinxed him. Mello...the boy's mere name calmed him. He brushed white hair from his eyes and fanned more cards onto the ground in front of him. The boys were still staring at him, and he intensely disliked it. He felt crowded.

"That's good. We're bored. "

Vice sneered and Simon chuckled darkly. Mello could see where this was going and his eyes narrowed into dangerous slits.

"Yeah, figured we come play with you."

Alex bent down to Near's level and grabbed his wrist roughly, jerking it away from the cards. Near's body tensed.

"Yeah. C'mon Near. Let's play."

Vince and Simon smirked at the ringleader and Alex grinned like a hungry predator.

"We have a game for you. It's really fun, and we'll like it a lot."

"Yep, but…I don't know if you'll like it, so that's why we are going to play and see if you do. I mean, I'm not sure if you like garbage or not. C'mon Near. Vince, help him up."

"Sure, boss."

Vince grabbed Near's other wrist, yanking it viciously upward. Simon just watched with a grin on his face.

Near had hardly time to react to anything...anything. Careless, foolish...he'd grown too accustomed to Mello's touch to forget what it did to him...and his wrists hadn't been grabbed like that since...no...

There was a moment when he inhaled so sharply that his throat stung, when his eyes flashed pure, unhidden terror, terror that tore away all his barriers and indifference and exposed the fragile soul underneath.

He blanked out completely, only dimly aware of the boys snickering around him, his eyes full of blood and pain and death, his ears echoing his mothers screams and his father's yells and the way Daddy choked on his own blood as he died, his wrists not stinging as badly as they should have been from the rough grasp because oh, they were so slick with Mommy's blood...

And then, there it was, that warm aura that made his mind relax, made his body relax back onto the floor so that his eyes could watch, because for some reason he wasn't being supported against his will anymore.

"AH!"

Without so much as a warning, Mello's foot was securely jammed into Alex's spine, breaking his vice-grip on Near's hand and sending him smashing face first into the hard floor.

"Fuck! What the hell…Mello!?"

Mello had grabbed a hold of the idiot's arms, foot jammed into his back and face to the floor. The blond never looked so absolutely furious. It was a surprise that the floor didn't suddenly crack and the flames of Hell burn the student on the floor alive. Mello had taken the guise of a demon, teeth bared and eyes wide with rage.

"Fucking scum..."

His tongue was laced with pure venom, a killer on its own. Alex fumed under him, desperately trying to fight back but Mello was far, far too strong.

"Get the hell off me!"

"Considering how I have the ability to break your fucking back, I am positive that YOU shouldn't be the one making demands! No one but ME will touch sheep boy, _understand_?!"

"Fuck you!"

And that did it.

With unmatched strength and in one fluid motion, Mello wrenched Alex around, flipping him onto his back hard, the noise of bone against the floor sickening. Alex gagged and Simon and Vince rushed to his side. He swatted at them and got up, facing Mello with a look of utter hatred in his eyes. It couldn't stand against the absolutely death-inducing look in Mello's.

"I don't care if you're second. You just made the biggest mistake of your life."

"Back at you."

Alex threw a punch, aiming for Mello's shoulders, but Mello slid backwards and spun around, suddenly pivoting sharply and smashing a kick to the boy's stomach. Alex flew back and took a glance at the deadly opponent fighting against spasms that threatened his lungs.

"Back. The fuck. Off."

The tone was so deadly it could have killed. Vince and Simon stared in horror as Mello growled at the three.

"Get out."

And they fled without looking back. Mello breathed deeply, caught in the moment and letting the rage just steam off in a sigh.

"You okay?"

Near had closed his eyes, not wanting to see the massacre. Mello's voice, though so grating, so terrifying, so ANGRY, still comforted him more than the sickly sweet tones the boys had used. His mother's screaming and his own childish crying pounded at his ears, and even behind closed lids, his world spun around him. Very, very distantly, he could hear Mello's outrage, feel the boys' cocky attitudes fading into fear...

He opened his eyes weakly, but they were glazed and cloudy, and he couldn't see anything but the lights all around him...it was too bright, and his contacts made his eyes itch. There was a moment where Mello spoke...perhaps he was talking to Near...

The boy blinked rapidly, frail body trembling. Fear...was not a virtue...

Mello's trained eye caught Near's reactions, but he couldn't hold him like before. Not here. The blond walked over and stepped behind Near carefully, allowing his legs to touch Near's back as he literally watched over him. He knew the small amount of contact would somewhat soothe the terrified being, but he wasn't entirely sure if it would drive away all the turmoil in his eyes.

"Easy, I'm here."

The words were soft as he scanned the common room. The other students had already evacuated during Mello's attack, so not a soul was here besides them.

Near blinked and turned his head slightly, the glaze vanishing from his eyes and Mello becoming clearer...weakly, he reached upwards, extending his fingertips toward Mello and letting out a small whimper.

"Mello..."

His wrists hurt. The pressure it took to move his arms hurt. But Mello was too far away...so he reached further, wishing his frail arms were longer. He couldn't stop shaking, and it hurt him...Mello was all he wanted, and all he needed, so despite the pain, he continued to reach.

Mello bit his lip. What was he supposed to do? There was no one around, but Linda was bound to come, always present at a time like this. Nevertheless, he gently grabbed Near's hand within his own, massaging the side. He knew that Near had revisited the memories; that was the same look he gave him not a day earlier.

"I'm here..."

"Mello," Near whispered, eyes and body both relaxing. "I keep seeing it inside my head...it's been years since I relived it, and now, twice in two days...why...?"

He focused intently on Mello's touch. The middle of the common room...right in the open! But he was so grateful the older boy was there for him...he smiled at Mello, weakly, hoping the torment he felt inside didn't reflect in the affectionate gesture.

"Maybe because I brought your bunny back, and you're afraid of touch. The two fears just…fed off each other."

Mello sighed and stared back, feeling a stab of irritation at the boys who had ignited Near's fears.

There was no question he was worried for the boy, but he couldn't stay. He was actually in the process of coming up with a way to get a radio/ disc player into the Loft, along with other things.

"Near, I have to go."

Near pulled his hand from Mello's and shifted until he was on his knees; quickly, he gathered his cards, his eyes focused on rushing, his still-shaking hands moving fast. One of the cards cut his finger, but he ignored it and stood, gazing at Mello, brows furrowed in an expression of false determination.

"I'm going with you."

It wasn't a question, and in that, his determination wasn't false. He was almost hurt by the fact that Mello was leaving...but what had he expected? They were still rivals, right? They couldn't be together always...right?

Near's gaze was cold. Mello blinked a moment, biting his lip. Well...Linda probably did blab to the world about their "project," so seeing them together wouldn't be unusual. Solemnly, he thanked the unknown forces that there weren't any cameras inside Wammy's.

Mello sighed and exited the common room, walking towards his room. If they were going to fit any furniture into the Loft they would have to use the original entrance. It was a matter of getting caught there though with anything large…

"Alright. Got any ideas on how to fit a beanbag in an air vent?"

"Unless you want to unstitch the sides and transport the beans in separate bags, I have no idea." Near cocked his head. "The floor and bed are both so comfortable...why do you want to bring in a beanbag? Isn't that a bit much?"

He wished L had had enough common sense to put a fridge in the Loft...sure, a bed and a bathroom, but no fridge. Almost as if he...Near blushed lightly, scowling.

Pervert.

"I'm thinking that it would be good for reading in," Mello replied, snapping Near from his thoughts. "Plus, I'm thinkin' that we have to play this game of "Sneaking things without being caught." This may surprise you, but I know exactly where to get a mini-fridge, a beanbag, and a small table…plus food."

He turned the knob and entered his room, sighing at the utter mess it had been left in. He walked over to his closet and opened the door, ignoring the ridiculous amount of clothing on the floor and trudging through it to the back, withdrawing a shirt of his and tossing it aside.

"Hmmm..."

Mello blinked and paced. Where DID he put that thing...

"Workspace as cluttered as your logic, Mello?" Near said snidely, grinning slightly. He was gripping the doorframe, glancing around the older boy's room curiously, not stepping past the doorway.

"Bite me."

"I'm trying to figure out how we can go so long without eating in the cantina and not arouse suspicion," Near murmured, ignoring the remark. "Our absences _will_ be noticed soon."

"And if Roger really does know, then he'll overlook our absences. We can deal with rumors. I'll just say something really abstract to Linda, like…I'm a werewolf or something, and I eat babies on weekends. And drink their blood to satisfy my cravings for human flesh."

Near simply stared at him, blinking, trying to sort out what Mello had just said.

"...have you been reading much manga lately?" Near's lips twitched. "I mean, where's the logic in that? How can drinking _blood_ satiate your thirst for human _flesh_?"

Near allowed Mello a few moments of concentration and watched him gather the items. Mello sighed in defeat and picked up at last what he had been looking for, the key to his desk drawer. He walked over and unlocked it, pulling out a small CD player, and then an assortment of random electronics. A tape recorder, a radio, walkie talkies, and about five pairs of headphones.

"It's not supposed to make sense, it's just to start the rumor that I'm absolutely insane, which it will if I add something "extra"..._here_ it is." He withdrew what he had been looking for, which was oddly enough, another key. "C'mon, to the supply closet to get that fridge..."

He didn't bother cleaning up the mess as he walked out of the room, he'd do it later tonight. He shoved the key into his pocket and calmly stalked the hallway.

"And what, the over-active security isn't going to miss a _fridge_?"

If anything surpassed the boundaries of Near's logic, it was Mello, but he ran to catch up with him anyway. He wasn't aware of it, but the faint smile was still on his lips, and his dark eyes were happy.

"They don't know about it, actually. Matt got it and hid it here in case anyone needed it. And we need it. I guess I'll have to tell him about the Loft eventually, but that's alright, Matt can keep a secret...I just hope he's not jealous."

Mello sighed at the thought but regained his semi-mellow mood and turned the corner, opening the door to the closet and waltzing over (but not literally, fuck, Mello couldn't do the Waltz...) to an old locker in the corner of the room.

"Yep, where Matt hides all of his crap he gets but doesn't need. Apparently he has contacts outside Wammy's but it is beyond me how the hell he gets all of this stuff..."

Near tilted his head at Mello.

"Why do we have to tell Matt about the Loft? It was L's assignment to us, after all...I bet L even organized the field trip to get him out so you wouldn't be tempted to bring him."

He stood behind Mello, eyeing the locker curiously.

"Well, I have no reason to lie to Matt, and he's my friend. I owe it to him to tell him at least the gist of things. Plus, I can't just blow him off. And I agree with you on that fact. I bet he did plan that..."

Mello unlocked the padlock and set it aside, opening the door and revealing indeed, a small white mini-fridge, in perfect condition, sitting on the shelf. Below it sat a small stereo system. Mello "hmm'd" and glanced at both objects.

"I also need to explain to him why I need the stuff."

Mello grabbed the fridge, happy that it was very light and stared at the stereo a moment.

"Just take it anyway. Who knows, we might need the radio or something. There's an entrance right here so I'll just take the fridge now. Do you want to go get your things so we just have to make one trip?"

"Yeah, sure...I'll come back and take the stereo in a minute. I don't need much from my room anyway."

Near left without awaiting confirmation, his head bowed. No. It would've been too much to hope for, and he knew it. Allowing himself too much emotion, too much trust...allowing himself to be too vulnerable...

His legs spasmed in the ghost of a jolt of agony.

No. He'd known better, and as he grabbed his things, he purposely avoided the rabbit sitting on his pillow.

He'd known better. He'd just hoped otherwise.

* * *

He's not butthurt. ...well, not exactly. -snickers-


	10. M, N, and L

Heheh…victories over Matt, via Adstringendum or Nulli Secundus…eh, whatever.

ENJOY. And review, you ungrateful whelps. -.-;

-

Nulli Secundus, Chapter 10 – M, N, and L

-

Mello patiently awaited Near's return, quickly sticking the things into the tunnels for easier access. He pondered a moment the encounter with Matt he would have to face and sighed. Matt probably would understand. If all else failed it was just a mission assigned by L. A mission involving Near...

Wait. His and Near's mission.

His and Near's secret.

He couldn't tell Matt about the Loft...

He was caught between lying to his best friend and keeping his partner's secret. Maybe he didn't have to lie (just kind of not telling the whole truth), but he did have to clarify the entire thing with Near.

"Mello?"

Near padded back into the storage room quietly, a small bag at his side containing only a box of lenses, a puzzle, and a deck of tarot cards. His dark eyes met Mello's, and he frowned slightly.

"Are you alright?"

Mello stared back, an apologetic shimmer in his ocean eyes.

"Yours and mine," he replied. "Not Matt's. Just going to say it is an assignment. Sorry, I wasn't specific. This is our secret. No one else's."

Mello sighed and bowed his head. He'd really messed up. Secrets were to be kept between the people you revealed them to...Mello reached into his pocket, clenching something in his fist and motioning for Near to follow as he climbed into the vent and unlocked the entrance to the tunnels. Mello took one look at the stuff and bit his lip.

"Near..."

Mello extended his fist and stared at it.

"I don't want to cling to the ghosts of my past. And…just...take it. I want you to know that...well, I'll keep your secrets safe…like she kept mine."

He opened his fingers and inside his fist was Hope's ring. The object that he held dearly was symbolic. Mello averted any gaze, too full of...was it embarrassment, or shame?

In his psyche, the worst thing one could do was break a promise. Although they hadn't said "I promise," it was a silent agreement, and he knew it.

A tremor ran through Near as he stared at the ring. The amazement in his dark eyes was the kind of emotion only held by people who had seen the light beyond the darkness, who knew exactly what it was like to wish for anything to cling to for salvation, and this ring...

Hope's ring was a symbol of everything she was to Mello in the past, his protector and guardian, his friend and ally, and his secret keeper. And he was giving this treasure to Near. He didn't exactly know why, but it felt like the right thing to do.

Near accepted it solemnly. The girl who it had last belonged to had probably not been fully grown, but Near knew it wouldn't fit around his finger. Instead, he slipped it into his pocket, making a mental note to find a chain or something later so he could wear it around his neck; close to his heart.

"Thanks, Mello. But you don't need to do that. You can tell Matt," Near said softly. "I don't mind. He's your best friend, probably the person closest to you. He...deserves to know."

He was glad Mello wasn't looking back at him. It saved him the trouble of averting his gaze.

"Just ours," Mello said shortly. The words meant the end of the conversation as Mello grabbed the fridge off the ground and started walking through the dark tunnel. In such a short time, he had actually become friends with his rival. He admitted it; he didn't mind being around Near in the Loft at all. Actually, he _liked_ it.

There is was, he liked being around Near. There was no doubt Near liked being around him. After all, he'd kissed back…

Man, Near was filling his mind with a thousand thoughts at once, and it was slightly unnerving. When L wanted them to become closer, did he have this in mind?

Mello couldn't help thinking of his mentor as a total pervert as he walked the tunnel in silence.

Near began to nip at the inside of his lower lip, deep in thought. The tunnel was dark, and had no scent, which he found odd; granted, the smell of rat droppings and mildew was not likely pleasant, but it had been what he'd expected. So he was fairly pleased, actually...he sighed.

"Hey Mello. We keep calling it our assignment, but we still have no idea what we were assigned. Is that really such a good idea? I mean, for all we know, L simply shoved us in with all the books for research purposes, not to actually investigate anything. ...it might just be wishful thinking. Every child at Wammy's dreams of L doing something like that."

At least, he did...amongst his other dreams.

"Why give us so much for just research? It might be hoping high, but still. It doesn't seem like something just for research," Mello said. Then, with a shrug, "Besides, either way I still consider it an assignment, whether by L's rule or my own."

He seemed persistent with using the Loft, and his tone didn't need to tell anyone that. He wanted to be a hero like L was. Although the detective solved cases for interest, he was still a hero in Mello's eyes.

Mello shrugged as the end came into sight and withdrew his key, placing the fridge down to unlock the trap door and pushing it open to enter the puzzle room. He eyed the enormous puzzle, the message becoming more of an encouragement than an omen to him.

Near entered after Mello and stared down at the puzzle for a moment. He hated the message. Intensely. It was a bad concept, and he knew it. Biting his lip, he glanced at Mello.

"I...need to tell you something. Everything about us...is rivalry. From games, to grades, to L's path...we've always been rivals. And yet, you still manage to remain Number Two in everyone's eyes, including your own. But...not mine. And not L's." He tugged at a lock of hair, averting his gaze and pouting slightly. "See, I don't think it's fair. People think in different ways, so that means their intelligence has to be weighed in different ways. I do not see you as less intelligent than I am, even if others do. In fact, if I had to really swallow my pride, I would say you are smarter...because you do not need to discard your emotions to access your logic, as I do." Near entered further into the room, passing Mello so he could avoid his eyes without the effort on his neck. "You really are second to none, Mello."

"Are you trying to boost my ego, little AIDS boy?" Mello couldn't help but lighten at Near's words, hiding his slight blush by adjusting the fridge in his arms. The compliment was one he never expected to hear from Near. "…it worked. Thanks, I guess."

Mello felt very confused as he walked down the hall to their room. _Their_ room. Together. He was astonished at how far they had actually come in a couple of short days.

"You're the one that gave me AIDs, so you can't use it to insult me." Near wondered how long that joke would continue. He was grateful they were approaching the Loft...grateful. It was odd, really, considering how much he'd dreaded the place not even two days prior.

His arms still ached where he'd been grabbed, and the stereo was starting to feel heavy. His mind had shut out what the boys had said to him, and thinking back, he was rather curious as to what their idiotic motives had been. He opened his mouth to ask Mello, then closed it again without uttering a sound. Bad idea...he bowed his head slightly, burying his nose and mouth behind the stereo and blushing. Mello had saved him. _Mello_ had saved him.

"Who said it was an insult?"

Mello smirked as he passed Near, entering the room with a relieved sigh. To be honest, this place was more home than his room ever was, and already he was actually feeling the detachment he would face during the week without the place.

"I think anyone could become attached to this place."

Mello placed the fridge on the floor beside the desk, happy to find an outlet behind it. Mello nodded to himself as the sense of accomplishment washed over him. He looked up and stared suddenly. "Did we close the bathroom door when we left?"

No. They didn't. He distinctly remembered. Mello blinked in confusion. The door was definitely closed.

"Mello. Near. I am glad to see you have made it here safely."

The voice made both boys tense. Mello whipped around and suddenly went into a state of shock. The _HELL_? He hadn't noticed the man sitting on the floor previously, the dark-eyed creature hidden behind the bed, ebony hair draped in messy shapes every which way. The man stood up and smiled slightly, an approving gleam in his eyes.

"L?! What the..."

"L-san," Near murmured softly, his eyes glinting softly with unhidden affection as he gazed at his mentor. "I had been expecting to see you soon, but...I must admit, I'm surprised..."

The anger he had felt toward L previously was gone, replaced by respect, adoration, and the purest form of gratitude. His mind drifted to Mello, standing there with his dark cerulean gaze wide with shock. He could only imagine what was going on in THAT mind.

"I can see you are already beginning to adapt to your room. This is very good, meaning everything has gone according to plan, and my task is over. Please sit while I explain the details."

Mello blinked repeatedly, as if this man before him was going to disappear at any moment. This was his hero and idol, before him and addressing him by name. He shook off his primary shock, instead letting his expression assume an admiring gaze. He sat upon the carpet, crossing his legs and looking up at his mentor.

L pressed a skeletal finger to his lips, eyeing the two with something resembling curiosity. He was impressed and pleased. He stepped up onto the bed, one bare foot at a time, hunching like a gargoyle on the edge, a thumb to his mouth. Dark eyes gazed upon his successors, a satisfied look in the depths.

"As you know, I was the one who had set up the entire charade from the very beginning. The plan was a success, and therefore, you both have passed the preliminary test and are ready to begin your assignment."

Mello blinked in surprise, listening with keen ears. This was the preliminary trial? What was the assignment that they were on?

"I am 85% positive you will complete this mission successfully, therefore I am giving you a case that I myself have set up. I insist on testing the fullest extent of your abilities now should anything happen to me in the near future."

"Should anything happen?" Near echoed, watching L intently. Unlike his companion, he'd remained on his feet; his right finger was entwined into his hair, and his dark gaze was fixated on L's pallid face. "If you set up our case yourself, there is little chance it poses any danger to you...but at that, I'm currently more interested in what you could be working on that puts your life in danger."

He was being bold, and he knew it. However, he also knew that L was arrogant and cocky, and wouldn't consider himself to ever be in danger unless there was a high possibility. If L was so keen on testing them to their limits, the chance of him becoming angry enough at Near's forwardness to take their assignment away was slim.

"Indeed. I am working on something that poses a greater challenge than I initially anticipated and therefore I have decided to test you now." L lowered his thumb and perched his hands upon his knees. "Although I am quite sure that this case will end well."

Mello cocked his head and his eyes narrowed in suspicion. Near voiced his concern.

"How sure is quite sure?"

"There is a possibility of about 25% that my opponent will render me incapacitated."

The percentage was abnormally high and a flicker of worry crossed Mello's gaze. Was L tying up loose ends before something happened to him? The detective noted Mello's look and Near's bold inquiry, but brushed them aside, for there were more important matters to attend to.

"Your assignment is simple. You will have four months to solve the case, starting Friday of this week. I have maximized security to increase the challenge level. I expect this will be no problem for you. The Loft will be your only source of information on this case so I suggest you use it wisely."

"Four months, and all of these books," Near said quietly, his tone still low. He hadn't blinked once since his first inquiry. "And yet, we'll still need to keep up with Wammy's classes and our social lives as to not arouse suspicion."

He trailed off, eyes flicking toward Mello's profile; the boy's gaze was still fixated on L.

Near had no social life. Mello was popular. And Mello had Matt. This would be hard for them to work together on, and despite himself, Near estimated that he'd be doing 60% of the work.

No, not estimated. Or perhaps yes, but logic didn't surmise that; worry did. He blinked, his stone face fading slightly, and glanced up at L. He said nothing, but his eyes urged L to continue.

"I expect you to do your best work together," L said calmly. "Once you have solved the case, I will know. This case is of a murder that happened in this very bell tower, above the Loft, all of the details of the case have been included in the folder. Roger knows of the events planned but will not treat you any differently. This is a taste of detective work for you both."

The man eyed them, toes curling over the mattress a second before he slipped off the bed.

"I will leave you two now to yourselves."

Mello could have sworn he had seen a glint in those blank eyes, only one word coming to mind: "Pervert."

Mello stood up and blinked as L retreated into the hallway, disappearing, it seemed, into the shadows, like a ghost.

"I did not expect that..."

"He set this place up for us," Near said, watching where L had last been visibly, stroking a lock of his own hair solemnly. One of his feet was lifted, heel-up and toes pushing into the ground behind him, as if he'd taken a step forward. His back was arched slightly, and he blinked. "He set it up. He set everything up. So why do I almost feel _violated_ that he came?"

The thought amused and concerned him, and yet, L's words...25%...that was a very high percentage. Too high. FAR too high. Near furrowed his brows uneasily.

"Our mentor is an extreme pervert," Mello grumbled. "Have you been getting that vibe too? Well. One week before we have to begin, and after that...I guess the place is ours for whatever we want. He didn't say we had to give it up."

Mello honestly didn't feel like giving up the Loft at all. In it, Near seemed far more pleasant anyways, or was it _him_ that changed?

"Well, we better get back before curfew. We can't stay here all night this time."

"Yeah," Near said lowly, already heading out. "You're right."

His tone was cold; bitter. It was only after L had left that the burning in Near's veins had reasserted itself, painfully obvious, and silently, he cursed his idiocy, his forgetfulness. The one thing he'd wanted to ask most, and he'd been distracted. It made him wonder if the percentage of failure that L gave him had been accurate, or to throw him off.

He bowed his head so that he could glare at the path ahead of him from beneath white bangs. He wanted to shove his hands in his pockets, but no...that was something L would do.

His hands remains clenched into small fists at his sides, and as he walked, his posture remained perfect. He would _never_ be just like L. He never wanted to be.

At least...he didn't want to be like L himself. To be the NEXT L would suit him fine...just fine...and if he wasn't, that was fine too. He'd ignore L's path, his twisted, sick set-ups, and follow his own path. Near's path.

N's path.

His mind snapped away from his thoughts. Mello had noted the tone and the reactions, wondering silently what bothered Near. He pondered asking, but would Near tell him? Yes, he would, Near trusted him to a degree that defied his logic, and was probably pretty risky at that.

"What set you off?"

There, he asked it. If he didn't get an answer, he'd ask again later, if he did, he could possibly help. The tone wasn't rude, but curious and calm, something resembling concern for his ri- no, friend's discomfort.

Near didn't want to tell him. He didn't want to, so he wouldn't, and he avoided every shred of instinct and emotion that screamed for him to look back at Mello's face...ignored them completely for his logic, though he ACHED to look back. But looking back would mean he'd falter, would speak. He wanted to just ask "What do YOU care?" and keep walking, wanted to look back and tell him, wanted to, didn't want to...

So he didn't. And he kept walking anyway.

"We regret the things we didn't do more than we regret the things we did," Mello sighed. Maybe Near didn't trust him with whatever secret he hid, and that was alright, but it bugged him. Mello took a last glance at the room, specifically at the carpet. He swore Near trusted him. But if he couldn't trust him with this, there had to be a damn good reason for it. Near already seemed in a state of discomfort and if he didn't trust him with this and told him, how much comfort could Mello give him? Mello shook his head and followed Near.

"Yeah," Near said, his icy tone breaking off into a soft, solemn sigh. "We do."

He raised an arm to rub tears from his eyes with a white cuff, tears he hadn't known were there until he felt them stinging. He fought back the urge to sniffle and kept walking, ahead of Mello.

His arm came down slightly wet. Why...WHY hadn't he remembered...?

Mello now didn't give a fuck one way or another... Near was in his care, Near was his to protect, as he was bound to it by invisible chains. He was a shadow against the wall, easily passing Near and pivoting around to face him.

"You don't have to tell me, but I'll do what I can..."

And with that Mello rose his hand to Near's face, wiping away the tears there with his shirt sleeve, holding his arm in such a way that offered Near the solace of a hug. It wasn't much, but if Near couldn't tell him, Mello would at least comfort him.

Near bit his lip and turned away slightly to glare at Mello from his right eye only, but the vicious gaze faltered after only a moment, and he chewed on his lip softly. He couldn't keep up the facade. Not when it was Mello. He didn't want to anyway.

So he pressed against him, arms wrapped around him shyly, resting his forehead against Mello's warm chest and staring at the black fabric, counting the blurry black stitches.

"I should have asked him, Mello. But I forgot...how could I forget? I'm...sorry. I should have remembered...I should have asked..."

He'd never been one to be entirely content when he had a gnawing question with no answer...but this time, he'd been so close to an answer, and neglected the question entirely. That fact...hurt.

"It's alright, Near..." The fact he had apologized to him meant that Near had wanted to interrogate L about why he had hurt him. He was still worried about that? Near must have felt useless for not being able to protect him when he was hurting, but it wasn't his fault. "I forgive you."

Mello wrapped his arms around the boy, holding him closer and curving his neck over Near's shoulder. Near buried his face into Mello's chest, inhaling his scent, trying to memorize it, trying to absorb the warm aura and the comforting arms so that he could call back the feeling whenever he wanted, so that he'd never be lonely again.

"Why...why did I forget?"

Near couldn't forgive himself. Wouldn't. And now, he was sure to make Mello angry, because the older boy would have to PRY Near off and RUN to get back to Wammy's before curfew, because Near sure as hell wasn't going to let go. The mere thought made him hold tighter. Mello sighed and massaged Near's back, not caring one way or another if they didn't make it back in time. He had a backup plan anyway.

"It's okay, Near, these things...however rare…_do_ happen. It's not a big deal. You impress and flatter me that you wanted to criticize L on my behalf. That means a lot, y'know."

That was it. He was grateful to Near, flattered and warmed by the fact that Near cared for him as much as he did. He was becoming attached, there was no doubt about it.

"Criticize?" Near made a strangled noise somewhere between a hysterical snicker and a quiet sob. "What good did that do? Would that do? It's an easy question, Mello, so easy, and I didn't ask, WHY didn't I ask!?"

He was slurring his words slightly, his even voice cracking, the pitch and tone both rising. He was hysterical, and he hated himself for it. Weak-minded enough to forget, weak-willed enough to succumb, weak-bodied enough to fail, and weak-hearted enough to drown in his emotions...

Mello held him, bowing his head. This had been building up. Near wouldn't just snap for this one thing. Whatever else, all the things were just spilling out now. All Mello could do was tighten his embrace and hold him while he cried.

"It's alright..."

He couldn't say anything else, too choked on the frantic tugging of his protective nature, demanding to make this boy safe, to make his tears stop.

"No, it's not," Near whispered. His left hand pulled back to rest against Mello's chest, clenching over the black fabric, determined to keep him there. "You protect me. You comfort me. You help me when I'm hurt. And what have I done for you? Solved a puzzle." His breathing was uneven; his entire body trembled with each soft exhalation. "Why...couldn't that have hurt me like the door hurt you? I could have handled it...why were you the one that had to suffer?"

"You don't have to do anything but be here for me, and you have. That's all I need you to do, and I'll rest easy." Mello lowered his head, pressing a soft kiss onto Near's cheek. He felt so helpless against Near's questioning. "I don't know. I wouldn't have wanted you to get the mark anyway...not at all. Don't think I could live with myself if they got you like they did me."

Mello shuddered at the thought of frail little Near being Shocked, tortured, abused by the worst sorts of people, bleeding from every part of his body, skin bruised on his frail neck. He clenched the white shirt at the thought.

"I don't think that's possible if they're dead," Near reminded him softly, calming himself at the grip. "It's okay. I told you, Mello, you keep me safe, and I trust you. With my life." Deep in the back of his mind, he took mental note of the fact that once again, he'd hurt him. Near nuzzled closer, eyes half open. "I just wanted to ask...why he had to make it that way. Anyone can solve a puzzle in time. But that door was created in a way that hurt you, and only you. Why? And how did L know?"

"I can't answer that question.. I don't know why, Near. Maybe it has to do with our case. I don't know. Come on. We'll go to my room and just...sleep." The fact that Near trusted Mello was a shock to the latter, something he couldn't quite understand, but wouldn't give up for anything. "I trust you, although you are a manipulative little sheep with AIDs. And I don't hate you. I actually like this predicament...I like being around you when your apathy isn't here."

Mello let out a soft laugh and sighed, happy Near was calming down. "If you get too upset you'll get sick. Don't be too hard on yourself, alright? Don't suffer 'cause of me..."

"I don't think I can," Near replied, "even though you gave me AIDs. You sheep sodomizer."

"Excuse me if my sexual preference is for cute, rapeable sheep."

Near smirked softly, then frowned again. AIDs. Sheep. When the heck did they start joking around so much? They were rivals, and they knew each other better than anyone...but...at the same time, Near felt as though he didn't know Mello at all.

No, not Mello...

"Mello...what's your real name?"

Mello massaged Near's back, smirking softly to himself. When Near asked the question, a soft smile sprang to his lips.

"My name...is Mihael. Mihael Keehl."

"Mihael..." The word suited Near's lips, and he smiled. "Nate River."

"Nate...I could really like Nate. Nice to meet you, finally." Wait, did he just admit his sexual preference was Near? Timidly, the younger boy stood onto his tiptoes and pressed a soft kiss to Mello's smiling lips. Mello sighed under Near's kiss. "I like Nate... Way better than the mask he hides behind..."

He'd just said that he liked Nate River. He was truthful; he really did like this small child against him.

"Come on. Let's go back to my room before we're missed, alright?"

"Alright. I have an idea. How about we have aliases for a purpose? It's indifferent Near and violent Mello at Wammy's...it's Mihael and Nate in the Loft...alright?" Near cocked his head.

"All right, Nate. It'll be like actors in a play, a facade for the people downstairs. Our secret."

Near's smile was pure, one of absolute adoration towards Mello...he had never thought he'd smile like that toward Mihael. He'd never smiled that way toward anyone. He kissed him again, softly.

Mello's heart warmed at Nate's smile. That smile was the one that made his violent days seem to die. Near adored him...the thought almost made Mello recoil in shock, but he felt a warmth unlike any other. Was he actually that attached? Likely. Very likely.

As Mello, he'd have to suppress it. As Mihael…who knew?

-

-mewls softly, in pain- My fingers and eyes…gods, this chapter…agh.


	11. Strip GoFish

This chapter has lots of fluffiness and humor in it. Remember this chapter as one of my favourites just because of how silly it is. xD

-

Nulli Secundus, Chapter 11 – Strip Go-Fish

-

Mihael led Nate through the tunnels that led directly to his hallway, oh so conveniently, pausing and kneeling at the trapdoor before unlocking it and slipping into the air vent. It was past curfew, but no chaperones seemed to be in this hallway at the moment. Mihael unlatched the grate and crawled out, opening his door and motioning for Nate to slip in.

It was very dark when Nate entered the room, and he nudged something hard with his toe; immediately, he removed his lenses and put them in the case in his pocket. At least some good came out of these accursed eyes.

"Your room is a war zone. How do you find anything? How do you not fall down and hurt yourself?"

Mihael closed the door and laughed softly, glancing at his clock. Nine at night?! How long had they been talking and walking? Mihael sighed and sat upon his bed.

"I'm just used to it I guess. Do you want to try to sleep or do you want to stay up? You should rest so you don't come down with anything."

He made no effort to hide the concern, the suggestion being half-demand, half idea. He reclined on his bed, scooting closer to the wall in case Nate wanted to join him. It wasn't near as comfortable as the Loft bed, but it felt the "home-ishness" a bed should feel.

Nate crawled into Mihael's bed without even a moment of hesitation. He sat on his knees, staring down at Mihael, blinking curiously.

"Your bed is very clean," he said, as though it surprised him.

He _was_ very tired. He was unused to emotional outbursts, or reacting to them, and between he and his counterpart, they'd both had a lot of those lately.

"Yeah, surprises me too..." Mihael pulled back the covers, burying his legs and leaning back against the headboard, staring at the ceiling, a thoughtful look on his face. It felt good and right to be lying here with Nate, it felt like...like it was meant to happen.

"Hey Nate?"

"Hm?"

"Why the hell didn't we move to the bed? It was right there, like, not even five feet away."

The question was mingled with a whispered laugh. It was a valid question, one that made him smile at the oddness and irony. Nate burrowed into the sheets like a small animal, crawling and turning beneath them until his head and fingers rested right before the opening leading to the pillow.

"I don't think we were really planning ahead, Mihael. Just kind of happened. The floor was very comfortable, though."

"Yeah, it's kinda funny though."

Mihael turned on his side, curling around Nate and breathing in his scent in a light sigh. It was comfortably warm under the covers, with Nate giving off what little body heat he possessed. The entire scenario was like deja vu...

Mihael reached over Nate's head to set his alarm and rested the arm over the bulge under his blankets, pulling the younger one closer to him.

"Kuuthekrd cfaad uha..."

In the slurred whispered language, Mihael had whispered a goodnight, pressing a kiss to Nate's, not Nate's, forehead. His own eyes drooped and fell into darkness....

Turning slightly to nestle close to Mihael's chest, sighing contentedly, safe and happy. He wondered intently what the language was. He'd heard Mihael speak it before, but didn't understand. He figured Mihael's words couldn't be bad...Mihael's might not have been either.

By the time his words finally left his lips, he was already asleep.

"Good night, Mihael..."

(NS)

Mihael woke before his alarm, and blinked blearily at the light of day, immediately noticing the small body nestled comfortably against him and sighing. He buried his head in the soft white locks and willed the day to just get the fuck away from his window so he could spend some nice time sleeping. It was an hour before he had to wake up at eight, and he sure as hell didn't want to.

He didn't find it disturbing to be sleeping in the same bed as Nate, for it felt too nice to be unusual. Mihael sighed. Today was going to be a fucking long day, the beginning of a fucking long week. Nate stirred in his sleep, sucking on the bridge of his index finger and unconsciously nuzzling Mihael's chest; he sighed softly, whispering his companion's name, his mind at ease...

It...had been a long, long time since his rest had been this simple. No dreams, no nightmares, and no physical pain...just the bed, and shroud of sleep...

And Mihael...

Mihael observed his companion, studying the small boy's features with a traveling eye. He'd said it before; he was cute, the type of creature you saw on some mattress commercial just sitting there, blending in with all the white. He couldn't help but be softened by his companion's habits when he slept. They were just...cute. Mihael continuously felt the urge to protect this little one, but even more so when asleep, when Nate was at one of his most vulnerable points. Mihael curled around Nate tightly, protective against any spooks or living things that would try to hurt his Nate.

His? Nate was his? It was most likely true, but a shocking revelation nevertheless.

Nate opened his eyes suddenly, grateful for the black fabric blocking his eyes from the sun. He grabbed a small handful of the black fabric and rubbed his face into it, nuzzling Mihael affectionately.

"Good morning..."

"Good morning to you, too."

Mihael didn't have the motivation to get up, so he didn't, head still comfortably set upon his fluffy pillow and body kept snug courtesy of the smaller boy clinging to him. The affection in which Nate was lacing into his movements was heartwarming, and even just drove him more against going to classes today. Mihael kissed Nate's hair gently, not giving a flying fuck about the rivalry right now.

"Feeling better, I hope?" Mihael caressed the white locks of hair absently, amused at how soft the strands were, like spider silk.

"Yeah," Nate murmured, "I am. You do that to me. Always used to, actually, even when you claimed you hated me...but now I can hardly get upset around you unless I'm worried _about_ you..."

He trailed off into a tired yawn and pressed his sleepy face closer to Mihael's shirt, as if melding with him. He wanted to close his eyes, but that would've resulted in him falling back asleep, so he didn't.

He'd always liked to play with his hair; his fingers enjoyed the strands, and vice versa. But Mihael's idle stroking was comforting. Everything about Mihael was comforting.

"Hm, it crossed my mind why you would always go to the common room although you knew I knew where you'd be. Did you purposely provoke me to get my attention, or did you just refuse to move from your usual spot?" He nuzzled Nate's hair, not really caring one way or the other what he said for an answer, but curious. He honestly felt like chucking his alarm cloak against the wall right now... "Fucking classes, I want to stay here, but I suppose we have to appear someday..."

"I just liked the common room. It was the most convenient place to play. You being there was just..." Nate yawned. "A benefit."

Nate didn't want to get up. He was too tired, too warm. Silently, he cursed his classes...they were too easy anyway, he already KNEW all of the things they learned there.

"I honestly don't understand why we continue to take the classes anyway. They're old news. Well...at least we have an hour before we really have to do anything."

He pondered asking Nate what he wanted to do, but he wasn't sure that either of them really wanted to do anything right now. Mihael sat up, leaning against the backboard and glancing out the window from the corner of his eye.

"It's going to rain again, but I doubt it will be as violent as the storm."

"I like the rain," Nate replied quietly. "It smells good, and it sounds good, and it makes the sky dark so my eyes don't hurt as bad. When I was little, I used to go stand in the rain and stares at the sky with my eyes wide open." He smiled at the memory, snuggling closer still.

The topic of L and the assignment still weighed heavily on his mind, and it suddenly occurred to him that they had no idea what the assignment was...odd.

"I like the rain too. Maybe later we can go outside after classes when it is raining; no one's usually around when the weather is bad."

The thought was pleasant, but he didn't want any questions he couldn't answer. A thought occurred to him that made him tense a moment, but relax again a second later.

"You think Linda's at your door this morning?"

"She might be," Nate murmured. "But I doubt she'd be by yours. People tend to avoid your door in the morning. We can split up...unnoticed..."

He trailed off, shivering at the thought of splitting up. He truly didn't want to. He snaked an arm over Mihael's shoulders to hug him, then drew it away, pulling back to look Mihael in the eye urgently.

"Mihael, your Brand is...cold. Very cold. More than before. Does it react to the weather?"

"Not sure to be honest with you. Maybe it is the weather. I can't feel it unless I touch it myself. Sometimes it gets really, really, hot too. It might just be related to the amount of metal in the area. I don't rightly know. It's not a big deal."

Mihael instead wrapped an arm around Nate to hug him close, now quite curious as to why the Brand changed temperature often, but not willing to dwell on something he most likely couldn't find out.

"Hah, nope. No one but Matt has the guts to lurk around my door. I'm a morning person, but not many people know that."

He felt very much awake indeed, but still unwilling to really move anywhere.

"You can't feel it...so does that mean it doesn't bother you?"

"It bothers me that it is there."

Part of Nate wished Mihael would let go of him, wished he would stop hugging him and shove him off of the bed. He was comfortable, and he didn't want to get up and be separated from him...and likely wouldn't without pressure. He let out a soft sigh that sounded more like a purr than anything, and closed his eyes.

"Can we play hooky and go up to the Loft?" he muttered, his voice childish and slightly pouty.

Mihael laughed at Nate's request, knowing all too well that it would look mighty suspicious if both of them were to suddenly go missing at the same time. It WAS a very tempting idea.

"I don't think it'd fly very well, but I guess if we wanted to later."

Just as long as Roger didn't go looking for them they were fine. And L was gone, no doubt, for he left without a peep, and the four month time limit…

They definitely had The Loft to themselves.

"You could say I'm sick," Nate murmured tiredly, "and that you see no point in challenging with no challenger..." He was warm, and wanted to go back to sleep...the Loft itself had nothing to do with it. And neither did L.

Mihael pondered Nate's suggestion and smirked. The kid did seem totally against leaving the room today, and he wasn't in any way motivated to get up either.

"That wont work on my end, I'd get in trouble with the authorities. I don't want to leave any more than you do, but this is the way it's gotta be if you don't want to lose the Loft."

The thought repulsed him. The Loft was theirs now, and it wasn't going anywhere on his watch. The prospect for the week seemed intensely sullen, but he didn't want to think about that right now.

Nate opened his eyes and let out a huff, pushing himself away from Mihael's chest with a pout drawn over his pale lips. His eyes were tired.

"Fine..." He sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed at his eyes, his back to Mihael. "So instead of the Loft and L's assignment, we get whiny idiots and stupid teachers and Linda. Great."

Mihael smiled devilishly, eyes trained on Nate's back and slowly creeping up behind him. He wrapped his arms around Nate's shoulders and bent over his neck, nibbling the sensitive skin playfully.

"Too bad, isn't it? At least we get the time we make so stop whining and enjoy it."

He gave Nate a quick kiss on the neck, noting that his bruise from earlier was still plain as day. He couldn't help but smirk at his own mark as he rested his head atop Nate's.

Nate shivered lightly at the touch, reaching to grasp Mihael's right hand gently within his.

"I can keep up my indifference and not really mean it, Mihael. Just promise you won't believe your own act and really and truly start to hate me again."

He tilted his head back, back, until his white hair tickled Mihael's throat; he kissed the older boy's lower jaw, smiling. "Promise?"

"I promise."

Mihael wrapped his legs around Nate's middle and again threaded long fingers through Nate's hair. It was going to become a habit, he could feel it. If Linda walked in right now to see this, oh how the sparks in her annoying brain would absolutely fry and cause a complete meltdown.

Actually, that would be kind of funny. He hadn't thought about it lately, but the girl was getting on his nerves more than usual with her constant advances. Mihael pondered the thought and bent over Nate's neck, licking and then sucking on the bruise, making it even more obvious. Mihael smirked. He was getting possessive very quickly indeed.

"You can show that to Linda and she'll probably leave you alone for awhile."

"That or she could get jealous and kill us in our sleep. I always wondered if she was a psycho."

Linda was an idiot. That much was certain. She was also a nuisance. And in that way, she...kind of reminded Nate of Mello. He contemplated, even while Mihael toyed with his hair and neck.

Both were annoying and constantly around, both picked on him, both had unusual obsessions with him...but Linda's were based around a stupid, girly crush...Mello's, a nagging rivalry. Still not all that different...no, Nate thought. Very different, for one reason.

Linda was just Linda.

Mello...was Mihael.

So Nate leaned back to nuzzle Mihael's neck, grateful this nuisance was obsessed with him.

"Good point. Although she'd probably kill me and not you. Wonder what she'd do if she found out I gave you AIDS. I'd have to laugh if she honestly believes that. I seriously am going to pull the werewolf thing though. Just to see her react."

Mihael laughed and glanced at the clock. They still had a bit of time to do whatever they wanted.

"Do you want to do anything or just sit here? I'm fine with either."

Nate turned around to look at him, pale blue eyes glimmering with affection. His lips were twisted into a smile; he had not a shred of his mask on. "What do you want to do?"

"I have a few ideas..." Mihael smirked and hopped off the bed, glancing around in the absolute massacre of a room and thinking a moment. "I have cards here somewhere..." The 'somewhere' was disheartening, for the room was an absolute disaster. "Ever played Strip Poker?"

Nate blinked. "I've never even played REAL poker, Mihael."

Strip. Poker. It didn't take a genius to figure out what THAT was about.

"You do realize we've less than an hour, right?"

"Alright, that's fine, we'll play Strip Go-Fish. And yeah, I know, but this game goes by fast if you aren't wearing much clothing."

He smirked and opened the top drawer of his desk, withdrawing a nice pack of standard playing cards.

"It's actually more fun under a time limit."

He grinned psychotically and cleared a spot on the floor, sitting down and dealing two hands.

"Playing?"

Nate was struck by a sudden urge to simply pounce Mihael and tear the clothes from that arrogant body. He shook the thought away and sat across from him.

"Fine. I'll play."

This would be interesting.

Mihael picked up his cards and flashed a smirk. He felt lucky today, and Nate couldn't win against luck.

"You can go first. If I get a match from your cards, you take something off and visa versa with me."

This was going to be fun. A really quick game in the time they had. God forbid anyone walking in.

Nate smiled. "Alright...do you have any, um...fives?" He didn't like Go-Fish, but...maybe this time, with this opponent, and these rules...it'd be more fun.

Nate's mind whirred.

"Nope, go fish." Mihael scanned his cards and thought a moment, running a finger over the cardboard edges and landing them absently on his knee. "Any threes?"

Nate drew and stared at his hand. "No, no threes. Go fish. Um...any...aces?"

He hoped Mihael would play fair for once. His gaze flicked up to meet his companion's.

Mihael sighed and threw the red ace down, quickly slipping off his shirt and tossing it behind him onto the floor. The mark upon his shoulder seemed to flicker, black as pity, more blank than Nate's 'mask-eyes.'

"Lucky little sheep." He smiled and stared at his cards. "Nines?"

Nate smiled. "No nines. Go fish."

He was blushing slightly, his gaze averted from Mihael's chest...his instincts wanted him to look, but he didn't. He simply stared at his cards. "Any sevens?"

"Go fish." Mihael smirked at Nate's blush, feeling accomplished even though he was losing by one. It was a mixture of amusement and pride. He didn't mind showing off his body; he was attractive and he knew it. "Any tens?"

"No tens," Nate sighed, drawing his card. "Go fish. Honestly, you are bad at this game." He smiled slightly at his hand. "Any...threes?"

"Go freaking fish. Not my fault if I'm unlucky, Sheepie." Mihael pondered what was left. He was positive Nate had royals. "Queens?" He eyed his rival, yawning slightly and turning his head as the sound f light raindrops hit his ears. He was right, a nice rain shower to soothe them both.

"You cheater," Nate laughed. "I KNOW you have a three, Mih..." He paused, smile fading. "Mihael." His lips flickered back into a smile, his eyes amused. "I know you do. You're not allowed to cheat."

"Maybe I do... I'll give it to you when you take something off." He grinned and eyed Nate playfully. He never was the honest card player. He crossed his arms, the three he had under his thumb securely. "Sound like a deal?"

Nate frowned. "I don't think that's how this game works, Mihael, so no, no deal. You play right, or I stop playing." He extended an insistent hand for the card, his eyes serious, his lips drawn into a stubborn pout. Mihael sighed and rolled his eyes, tossing the card to him and quickly shedding his black pants, in nothing but his silky black boxers.

"Lucky little sheep. I should've just removed your clothes manually." He smirked, crossing his legs, hair tickling his shoulders as he looked at his cards. "Now about them queens..."

Nate leaned forward to brush a strand of golden hair behind Mihael's left ear; he kissed his cheek softly, then whispered, "Go fish."

When he finally drew back, he requested a two. His smile didn't falter.

"This time I really don't have a two, Sheepie." Mihael smirked back, shrugging as he took a shot in the dark, not really caring at this point if he won. "Fives?" He had drawn a five on his last turn and knew the albino had to have the number.

Nate grinned, removing his pants; his oversized shirt compensated for their loss.

"Hey Mihael. Got any nines?"

"Pfft, beat me again, little sheep. Go figure." Mihael removed the boxers, now standing completely shameless and naked in front of Nate, arms crossed and expression in a comical smirk. "Happy?"

He did a small turn on his heels, slightly tanned body contrasted by the utterly black star upon his shoulder. The kid had muscles for his age and still retained a thin structure.

"Mihael..."

Nate crawled forward and stood, running his hands upward from Mihael's legs to his abdomen and chest, then snaking them up around his neck and shoulders to hug him. He stood on his toes to nip Mihael's ear shyly.

"I have a secret for you...."

Mihael leaned into Nate's touch, wondering silently what on Earth someone would think if they waltzed in the room at this moment. He was pleased in Nate's reactions, and smiled.

"What is your secret?"

He snaked his arms around Nate's hips, knowing that this was a little beyond friendship. How close did they _get_ over the span of a day and a half? Nate kicked at the cards; a queen and a ten were both visible, along with a couple of other cards that had been called. Nate pulled back to kiss Mihael lightly, blushing.

"I cheated."

"I know. I just like showing off my body."

Mihael laughed at the little hypocrite, sneaking his hand under Nate's shirt to massage his bare back teasingly. Yes, somehow they had gotten indescribably close, as Near and Mello, and Nate and Mihael...

"I would LOVE to see Linda's face at this..."

He lowered his head to lick the bruise again, satisfied at the purple mark. He glanced at the clock. Ten minutes. Damn.

"I wouldn't," Nate whispered, pressing closer to Mihael, hating every moment he'd ever spent shying away from the boy's touch. "She'd tell everyone, and we'd get no privacy."

"Well. I have to get my clothes back on for class."

Mihael sighed, glancing at the clock in a fit of sudden agitation. His head was filled with intoxicating thoughts about what he could do in their current position, but he swallowed that reluctantly, pulling away and beginning to redress himself.

He pulled on his shirt and stared at the cards under his feet. "Nah, I'll get em' later..."

Nate sighed in rejection, grabbing his pants; he sat at the edge of the bed and pulled them back on. "I wonder how often you say that?" he murmured, the mock in his voice only there to hide his sorrow at the impending departure. "Your room is a MESS."

"There are twenty-four hours in a day and divide that by the time I spend in my room and you get the better part of...a lot."

Mihael rolled his eyes, now glinting with sadness as the alarm clock beeped, the tone shrill to his ears. He leaned forward, placing a tender kiss upon Nate's lips and pulling away, a smile on his face.

"I'll see you around."

"Good-bye, Mihael..."

He would wait for Mihael to leave. Simple enough; when he left, Nate would wait, then go to class...no one would notice they'd been together...

Nate's fingers grazed the bruise on his neck.

Mihael nodded to him, then left, closing the door behind him and already feeling the sadness of being apart from his other half. He suppressed the feeling and continued down the hallway, a cocky swing to his walk as he remembered his role.

"See you soon, Nate."

Alone, Nate flopped onto Mihael's bed with a huff and stared at the ceiling for a moment before rolling over. He inhaled deeply; the bed...smelled just like Mihael...just like him. Nate whispered his friend's name quietly and glanced at the clock, waiting.

"Soon...soon...I can wait."

When the time finally came, Near left, his eyes dead, his fingers in his hair.

-

While talking to Akane I was struck by the sudden negative realization that this story (which does have a sequel…or…will…ugh) reaches a complete dead-end where the sequel is concerned. Granted, there are still at LEAST six chapters (and two yaoi sequences :P) left before the end, but please, take note.

When the story draws to a close, I will be creating a poll regarding the sequel. Please keep an eye out when NS is over.


	12. Desperate

Smut chapter ahead to make up for my hiatus. o3o

-

Nulli Secundus, Chapter 12 – Desperate

-

Mello crossed his legs, fighting the urge to stand up and scream about how imaginary numbers were not real and how he could spend his time doing far more productive things.

Like watching grass grow.

Seriously, what did imaginary numbers have to do with anything? After six consecutive classes, he was ready to punch through a wall. But the seventh and last class, with a minute to spare, Mello practically howled in triumph as the teacher dismissed the class, chucking his book back on the shelf and running out of the hellhole as fast as possible, mind immediately shifting to the Common Room, where his "rival" most likely would be. Perhaps it would be a nice thing to pay the little sheep a visit?

Near's ears perked like an animal's at the heavy footsteps; he fought an incredibly powerful urge to look up for Mello and simply continued his puzzle. He was doing poorly.

Mello paused in the middle of the hallway, hearing the voice and snarling to himself, whipping around to see Vince, whom sighted him and seemed to wilt under Mello's intense gaze. The kid averted his eyes and turned around, deciding it would be better to go the long way to the library today...

Mello snorted at his retreating form, mocking him in silence for his cowardice and foolishness.

"MELLOOOOO!"

Linda almost tackled him, but thought better of it, so she stood, smiling at him brightly, fingers laced behind her back. She bounced on the balls of her feet.

"Hiya, Mello! Haven't seen you around much lately. How are you? Do you miss Matt? What've you been up to? What about Near? What were you doing with my supplies a few days ago? Where are you headed? Can I come?"

"Oh for the love of God, woman. TONE IT DOWN! I have a project going on and I needed those supplies for it, and NO, you can't come. I miss Matt. I've been drinking the blood of infants and sodomizing animals. Does that answer all your bloody questions!?"

He wasn't really angry, just annoyed. And he HAD said he was going to use that against Linda. He smirked and brushed past her, heading into the Common Room with a smirk towards his secret little sheep.

"Heya Near, what are you up to?"

The sneer in his voice was fake, but only Near would pick up on that. The albino glanced up coldly.

"Mello. I heard you coming from halfway down the hall. I understand that Linda is an annoying girl, but must you scream so loudly at her?" He glanced down at the puzzle, mumbling. "Besides, "woman" hardly defines her..."

"Tch. The only way to get a blind bat's attention is to shriek in its ear. Why the hell are you hiding anyway? I only bite on Saturdays."

He turned his head slightly to the one at the door, and then to gaze at the bruise upon Near's neck, smirking.

"Where'd you get that lovely little token?"

This was fun pretending to be ignorant, especially with an audience.

"I fell out of bed this morning," Near said with an idle shrug. "Landed on my wrist and the bone left a mark in my neck."

"POOR NEAR!"

Near looked up, startled, as a very over-dramatic girl in pigtails ran at him, arms open...oh no.

"Linda, I am alright, please...DON'T!"

Too late. Despite his words, she'd enveloped him in a hug. He struggled, but her lovesick arms were stronger.

"Please, L-Linda, let go of me!"

"You should sleep in my bed, tonight," she purred, hugging tighter; a cry caught in his throat and his eyes flashed through the indifference. "I'll make sure you don't fall out!"

In his head, Near heard his mother screaming.

Mello snarled immediately and ripped the girl away, knowing the exact effect any touch had on the boy. He glared at Linda, her arm firmly gripped in his wrist.

"Do you not know he's AFRAID of people touching him?! What the hell is your problem? You don't play on people's fears little girl, EVER, and your desperation for him is fucking pissing him off! Don't ASK me why I care, I want my partner in one piece, God damn it."

He shoved her away, crossing his arms and fighting the urge to go over to Near while glaring at Linda. His tone was dangerous, like a cobra's warning hiss.

"You would know, wouldn't you!" Linda shrieked, drawing the attention of many of the kids gathered around the piano. "I bet he's afraid because you hurt him so often! I BET YOU GAVE HIM AIDS!"

Near rolled his eyes.

"Linda, I dislike touch because I find it obnoxious when idiots like you see fit to grab me like that with no excuse, and ignore me when I say let go. Now please, go away."

Her eyes welled with tears, and she ran off crying. Near didn't give a shit. The group of students at the piano were now laughing, and a few of the older ones were clapping and cheering at Near. Mello snarled at Linda's back.

"For the record, I don't fucking have AIDS!"

"Thank you, Mello," Near said in a quiet undertone.

Mello was secretly laughing that the girl even brought the AIDS up. He imagined what things must be going through her head and he laughed aloud, dropping his tone so only Near could hear.

"Anytime, little AIDS sheep. You know with her mouth I bet that now I raped you unwillingly behind the building and left you outside in the storm where you struggled to get back in. Sound right to you?"

He snorted and went over to the window, gazing softly at the rain outside.

"No, you felt guilty and gave me a piggyback ride back in so no one would see the trail of blood. Idiot."

Near's lips twitched.

"Ha, that sounds better. Look we are getting looks but I think everyone knows we have a "project" to do. They are still surprised I am not screaming at you."

Mello drummed his fingers lightly against the glass. He kind of felt like putting on a show for all these people, but...what to perform...

"I am seriously considering putting on a top hat and doing an act for these staring people."

Near couldn't help it. He cupped a hand to his mouth and bowed his head, eyes closed, laughing.

"Mello in a top hat...a blonde, effeminate W-Willy Wonka with AIDs..."

He laughed harder, and despite their shock, the boys at the piano laughed also, except for one. Even the girls were smirking, though one whispered quietly, "Simon, what's up?"

Simon didn't answer.

Near didn't see. He was laughing until tears pricked at his eyes. He was happy.

Mello blinked at Near and stared at him. Well...that was officially the strangest thought lately in his mind. All that Near had just said, plus baby eating and sheep sodomizing. He stared at Near, smirking and fighting not to burst into laughter also.

"Kid, you have totally gone fucking nuts. It's official."

Wait, was the Mello he left behind supposed to be angry? Uh...crap. He had no idea anymore, but Near laughing was just ridiculous.

"I'm going to my room," Near said, shaking his head, bemused. He knelt briefly to gather his puzzle. "See you later, Mello."

When he looked up, he gave his friend a very meaningful look; he was still wearing a wry smile. Gripping his box, he left the common room. In his mind, he began to count down from sixty.

"Later."

Mello blinked as Near left, caught in the moment, leaning against the wall, EVERYONE staring at him. He shook his head and looked around.

"What the hell are you still staring at?"

The children didn't stop staring as he stormed out of the room, still giggling at the picture and chatting about how much they would pay to see Mello in a Wonka outfit.

Meanwhile the blonde pondered what the hell he was going to do, deciding on heading back to his room for chocolate. Then his mind trailed back to Near...

And he wanted to go pay another little visit. So here he was, nipping on a chocolate bar at Near's door.

Nate smirked slightly; when he opened his door, he wasted no time. A small hand seized the front of Mihael's black shirt and pulled him into the clean room. The door slammed shut, and Nate's arms were already around Mihael's shoulders, his lips pressed timidly to Mihael's, his pale cheeks tinged with a blush.

Mihael smirked against Nate's lips, licking the boy's mouth with a chocolate-sweetened tongue, asking for entrance. When did Nate get this desperate? He wasn't complaining though, kissing him back gently and threading his arms around his waist.

He never dreamed that something like this would happen a few days ago, with Nate no less, and here he was, kissing his former rival behind closed doors, secret lovers.

Nate opened his mouth, his tongue greeting Mihael's shyly. His kisses were growing out of his timidity, though he was still blushing. Mihael's arms were around him, and that was all that mattered.

"S-seven classes," Nate gasped unhappily. "Too...much."

Mihael licked the underside of Nate's tongue, tangling it, his eyes drooping halfway. Just how much was he affecting his little sheep? Mihael smirked at the boy, lowering his head to nibble at Nate's neck, trailing a soft line of bites to his shoulder.

"Perhaps, but only three days to go before we are free."

He smirked against Nate's skin. If Nate reacted like this from being apart for a few hours, he could get through the week. Nate whimpered softly, his fragile heart fluttering within his chest.

"I won't last...too long. Too d-damn long."

He kissed back harder, his eyes cloudy with emotion. Mihael smiled. Nate was actually missing him already. He felt accomplished and happy as he stirred up these emotions.

"I know."

Mihael wrestled tongues with Nate, realizing how good this felt and how pissed everyone would be because of it. That just made him feel even lighter. Nate was an excellent kisser, a perfect match for his chocolaty mouth. He pulled away for a moment, desperate for some air and smiled.

"At least we have now."

Nate's grip was desperate to the point of almost being terrified of letting go. He didn't respond to Mihael 's words, but pulled him down, closer to his own level, a pale hand entwined into golden hair, Nate's eyes closed tightly.

He was unable to stop; it was as if Mihael had suddenly snapped into his mind as a fleeting creature, soon to be gone...no, NO! Nate needed him now, and...forever?

Nate whimpered into the kiss, wanting more.

Mihael leaned in, walking Nate backwards without breaking the kiss, knowing that this was a really stupid time to try and do this, but not really caring. Nate was begging for him in his own way, and Mihael was happy to oblige. He quickly leaning over the bed in seconds, scooping his legs up and following him in suit, breaking the kiss to trail bites down his neck, hands already wandering to his thin sides, crawling fingers under his shirt in the process.

"Hah...you really want me, don't you? This is very risky. We'll have to be quiet..."

Nate whimpered as a response, arms wrapped firmly around Mihael's shoulders. He leaned forward to nip at the older boy's earlobe and licked at the shell meekly; his hands were trembling as they held on.

Nate kissed Mihael's ear again and then drew back to push his lips against Mihael's, his desperation on the edge of panic. His body was shaking.

Mihael deepened the kiss, noting how truly bad Nate ached for him. Had it really been that long? He didn't question it, just began to unbutton Nate's shirt. If Nate made any sound that alerted anyone, they were royally fucked. He let his hands travel at a quicker pace, knowing that Nate would get annoyed if he attempted to try and again relax him like last time. He trailed a line of kisses down Nate's chest as each button was opened, licking the milky flesh with a practiced tongue. A hand had lowered itself to Nate's thigh, rubbing it gently before resting on the sensitive area between Nate's legs. This was going to be a lot faster than last time, out of pure need for the contact. Mihael's breathing was uneven, body radiating heat as he closed his eyes into the kiss.

"C'mon, Mihael," Nate breathed softly at the next break in the kiss. His lashes fluttered. "C-come on, I need it, I need you, please hurry..."

He realized suddenly that if Mihael left him at that very moment, it would probably be the cruelest thing anyone could have ever done to him. He hugged Mihael more tightly, burying a pale nose in honey-gold hair, whimpering quietly and arching into the boy's touch.

If Mello left...if Mihael left...

Nate's kiss was forceful, and anything but shy. Mihael felt his body wrack with desire at the words. Yes, he was correct in assuming Nate had developed an attachment to him that went beyond anything he'd ever had prior. He nodded at Nate's words, lowering white pants and boxers, kissing a trail over every inch of new flesh as he rid himself of his own dark clothing. If they were caught now, this would take explaining, but he couldn't stop. Not now.

Mihael crushed his lips onto Nate's, forgetting the earlier gentleness as he caressed Nate's length, quickly spreading pale legs apart with his knee. Things were moving so fast that he must have left his brain behind in the blur.

Nate breathed out incoherently against Mihael's lips, pleading, tears already prickling at his eyes. Everything was too much, and would be too much, just as last time...he'd bleed again, more likely than not, but he didn't care. Mihael was all that mattered. Mihael was all he wanted. He was terrified, and the panic tearing through his veins was like black poison, eating away at him, making his kisses harder, his soft mewls and whimpers more frequent, his voice...inarticulate.

"Aah, M-Mero, please..."

"Easy..."

Mihael coated his fingers with a film of saliva, the same as last time, but more urgent. He quickly shoved two fingers into Nate, scissoring them quickly, knowing full well that he would bleed again, but also knowing that if he didn't take Nate now, the kid would be as likely to rape HIM...

The desire was contagious, his eyes were muddled and wide with lust, head spinning with how terribly fast this was going. He moved his fingers, pumping them into Nate and adding a third quickly. Nate's writhing was driving him mad, and he was obviously doing the same.

Nate arched in pain, but leaned forward for Mihael's lips again, the kiss deep and passionate, asking the questions he couldn't because he was losing his mind to these irrational and illogical emotions. He whimpered softly against Mihael's lips, a plea in its own form.

Mihael kissed back with an equal fire, answering Nate's silent cries. He was aching, absolutely aching for him. Both of them were craving each other, like an addiction. A drug. Nate was a drug...

Mihael continued to stretch him, eventually pulling away from the kiss to position himself adequately. Mihael's eyes flashed in apology as he leaned into Nate, not as gentle as the first time, but not forcefully enough to cause true agony. He captured Nate's lips, holding onto them as not to let Nate make a sound, driving himself deeper and deeper, eventually fully within his partner and fighting not to fuck him senseless.

Between his own throat and Mihael's mouth, Nate managed to keep his scream mostly silent; it hadn't been that long ago since they'd done this last, and he could feel old wounds opening, but at the same time, the stretching wasn't nearly as bad. Nate nodded into the kiss, consenting to movement, his heart and mind racing.

Mihael closed his eyes, wrapping arms around Nate's body and holding him close, moving slowly at first. Unable to contain his lust, he quickened the pace, body flushed with the heat, sweat beads forming on his skin. He only broke the continuous kiss when he needed, absolutely NEEDED, to breathe, biting back moans with clenched teeth. His absolute yearning, longing, lust, desire, whatever you would call it, overrode the possibly danger of being caught by tenfold.

Mihael lowered his one hand, clutching Nate's back with the other. His fingers ran over Nate's need, rubbing it for much-needed contact and friction, while he was still intent on not letting Nate's lips go. The movements synchronized with each other, pleasure waves coursing through him as he slammed his hips against Nate's skin.

The pain left Nate's conscious mind quickly. Though blood ran down his inner thighs, he shivered and had to bite back whimpers, moans, and whatever the hell else was attempting to come out of his mouth. Pale, thin arms held Mihael close, and again, their bodies just FIT like two sides of a yin yang pressed together, black against white, each of them balancing out the other, though the pleasure...gods, there was no way Mihael felt like Nate did...

And Nate whispered Mihael's name over and over against their lips, because he had to keep trying to say it right, surely that required practice, because he simply couldn't pronounce it.

Mihael couldn't put any possible words for the feeling that had its tendrils rooted in his body. There was no word for the rush he got from Nate...it was something beyond ecstasy, meyond euphoria. This feeling had him absolutely quaking, his mind lost within the sea of it.

Oh, he felt as Near did.

He felt the absolute elation with every moment.

"Nia..."

The names they called each other...they each had three.

Near, Nate, Nia...

Mello, Mihael, Mero...

The alias. The secret. The sin.

Every whisper of Mihael's own name fed the growing fire, and he in turn whispered his partner's name through the breaks in the heated kiss. It was odd, really; Japanese was neither of their native languages, but during desperate times like this, somehow being closer to L made it all more...bearable.

Mihael's climax was creeping up upon him, and he fought it valiantly, striving to fully pleasure Nate. He knew the boy was bleeding, but it was Nate who had asked for this, and the fact simply couldn't be helped that he was small.

Nate whined Mihael's mispronounced name over and over with every rhythmatic movement; he felt his climax building, and was certain that he wasn't alone. Part of him wished he wasn't on his bed...he'd have to wash the sheets later. Sweat had his white hair matted messily to his forehead, but he felt too good to care...the pleasure was unimaginable, but here it was, and it was Mihael...

"Mero..."

He didn't want to come yet...if he came, they'd stop, and if they stopped, Mihael would leave. He wrapped his arms around Mihael's shoulders more securely, the Brand cool against his burning-hot arm, and he gasped in pleasure when Mihael slammed against him again.

"Mi...hael, I can't..."

Mihael clenched his eyes shut, knowing that it was nearing the end, knowing full well he couldn't hold on any longer...

"Y-You...drive me...in-sane, Nate..."

Mihael shuddered and arched, tightening his hold on Nate and curling into him as he gave in. He hissed at the climax, fighting not to scream, pleasure tearing through him to the point of breaking, and released himself, trying to not fall upon Nate, post-orgasm waves curling through his mind. He panted quietly, burying his flushed face in the bedsheets, body trembling even as Nate himself mewled and came beneath him. Nate laid his head back onto the pillow to look at his companion, and he, too, was breathing heavily. He blinked sweat from his eyes and moved a shaking hand to wipe his forehead.

"Insane...that's bad, right?"

Mihael shook his head in a shuddering "no," pulling out and lowering his head to lick at Nate's seed, lapping up the evidence of their act. He cleaned Nate off with his tongue, eventually satisfied and crawling back up to lie beside him.

"Not this time, no..."

It was official; they were certainly far closer than anyone thought.

Nate shivered at Mihael's advance, but his body didn't even BEGIN to grow tense. Mihael wouldn't hurt him, and he knew it. Mihael would keep him safe... Mihael's touch would never be bad.

"Good..."

Nate removed his lenses and let the case drop to the floor, sighing softly. Blue eyes fluttered open and he stared at Mihael, affection evident in eyes that Nate had always assumed looked cold.

"Hey, how long have...have you known about my eyes, Mihael? That time at the Loft...you didn't say anything, at all. Not a question, not a moment of shock...like you knew."

"I know about albino mutations. The contacts were easy to figure out and I saw you take them out once before; you just didn't realize I was looking. Don't get me wrong. I like your eyes a lot, but I'm just used to them..." He rolled to his side, pulling Nate close and nuzzling his back. "You are becoming reckless, Nate. You realize it's the middle of the day, and people often go through your hall?" He snickered and curled his body closer. "I kind of like it..."

"I'm glad you're the smartest one at Wammy's...I'm certain most others who suspect my albinism believe I've got red eyes." Nate laughed, nuzzling Mihael's warm chest and sighing contentedly. "And I think...I think being with you is a reckless move in itself, Mihael. Unpredictable and emotional, a being of high spirit and pure instinct...but I won't stop...I like it, too."

He laughed lightly, not really willing to move anywhere at the moment. He sighed contently, amused at his rapid change of feelings over the few days yet again...

"I'm guessing you want me to stay for a little, right? I will, but I can't stay all day."

"Yes, I assumed as much. You're welcome to stay until you want to leave, Mihael."

Nate really did like that name. He mused on for a moment about how the older boy had taken on the name "Mello," and then briefly wondered how many people knew his real name...he supposed it didn't matter.

"That's all well and good, but doesn't Linda randomly barge into your room?"

He prayed he hadn't jinxed them both and cast a glance at Nate's door, relieved to see that there was absolutely no movement whatsoever. Seriously, worst thing that could ever happen at the moment.

Well, that or L walking in. He doubted L would react at all, which kind of unnerved him.

"Linda isn't that intrusive. She'll knock. Repeatedly. For at least fifteen minutes. THEN she'll give up." Nate growled into Mihael's chest, his left hand curled into a tiny fist against him. The mere mention of Linda irritated him. "Her advances are too obvious, and too obnoxious..."

"Hmph, I don't understand why on earth she doesn't give up. Besides...you're mine..."

Mihael smiled and licked Nate's bruise as if to make a point. It was his mark. His mark upon his possession. He got irritated at the very prospect of that girl STEALING his Nate. His. Yes...he was considering Nate as his own, and he definitely knew that the little creature didn't mind.

"You don't mind, do you?"

Mihael nuzzled his cheek and smiled softly. Nate purred quietly, blowing a lock of Mihael's golden hair from the boy's warm eyes.

"No, I don't...I want to be yours, Mihael. And I want you to be mine." He didn't know what the emotion was that he felt just then, but it made him reach up to hug Mihael more closely and press a gentle kiss to his lips. "And anyone who doesn't like it will have to tear me away from you, kicking and screaming..."

"You're mine and I'm yours. It's settled. I keep your secrets, you keep mine, understood?"

Mihael smiled and sighed, knowing full-well he actually had to get up, but not exactly wanting to. Plus...the people here at Wammy's were by no means stupid. If they both disappeared for a long period of time, people might look for him here. And that guy Alex...Mihael had seen the other two, but...what if they looked for Nate again?

"I think I should shadow you over the next few days. That Alex kid is making me worried."

"Alex, Vince, and Simon...they always called me names, but they'd never tried to hurt me until that time. I don't know what they were planning...my mind blanked out."

The prospect of Mihael shadowing Nate put the younger boy in a state of unease. Someone was bound to notice...but he found he didn't care who was watching, as long as it was Mihael, and no one else.

He never wanted anyone else to do to him what Mihael had. Smiling, he buried his face into Mihael's warm body.

"I know. They play soccer with me. I don't know what sparked this sudden violence against you though. Either way, I feel like they're going to target you because they failed the first time; they're like that in a very annoying way." Mihael nuzzled Nate affectionately, the protective and possessive natures coming out in equal amounts. "And don't worry, I'll be sneaky. You won't notice that I'm there."

"I want to notice you're there, Mihael. I want to know you're by my side." Nate cuddled closer to him, humming softly under his breath. "I am safe with you..."

The emotion was making his heart ache for Mello, though the boy was right there...  
Mihael kissed Near's forehead, making the promise official, like signing a legal document but even more binding. The blonde sat up and scooted to the end of the bed, eyeing his clothes on the floor and chuckling. Yes, he was actually Near's friend. With benefits. He didn't want to call the relationship anything further than that, not one to live on hopes that might not come true...but...

Maybe they could be lovers...maybe...

He picked up the articles from the floor, tossing Nate's clothes to him and beginning to piece together his own clothes, smirking as he did so.

"We can at least not appear naked to any unlucky travelers..."

Near sat on his legs and stared down at the clothes, biting his lip.

"Briefly..."

He stood and approached his dresser, grabbing a towel and a bottle of warm water. His teeth sawed at his lower lip.

"Just give me a few minutes..."

"Alright."

It occurred to Mihael that Nate was once again bleeding, and that wasn't good at all in the way of WHY that didn't involve someone hurting someone in an "inappropriate" way.

"Did I hurt you this time?"

"Not as badly, just opened old wounds. I'm alright." Nate doused the towel and cleaned himself, sighing. "You worry far too much, Mihael."

"Well I have a right to worry, I care about you, you know..."

Mihael shook his head, slipping his shirt on and cocking his head to the side at the towel and warm water. Had Nate planned for his own injury beforehand or was it a precaution?

"Were you expecting me to come?"

"I was," Nate said, "but I always have these in here. Chiraptophobia leads to a paranoia about getting beaten bloody. I was always afraid I would wake up caked in blood and would want to wash before I left." He shrugged. "Just another reason to prefer the Loft."

"Ah, yes I suppose that's true."

Mihael suddenly felt guilty about picking on the kid in the days before. He must've made life hell for him. But did Nate hold it against him or not?

"I'm a sorry for being a plain old bastard to you before I really let you in..."

He sighed sadly. All that time wasted when they could have been more. He gave Nate a peck on the cheek, smiling apologetically.

"Do you want to go outside?"

"It's alright, Mihael. You had a reason. And sure, it doesn't appear to be raining too hard anymore."

Nate smiled at Mihael affectionately. The apology was unnecessary, yes...but it had made him happy.

"Let's go."


End file.
